How do you know if you just miss your ex or you genuinely want them back?

[Anonymous]

Why did you break up, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait six months. During that six months, work on you. Therapy, workout, take classes, spend time with friends or make some new friends. After you’ve become the best version of yourself, with a full life, then reevaluate. If being with them will be value added to your already good life, then maybe see if something could happen.

But you broke up for a reason. So unless something has changed, don’t do it.

I still miss my ex and that was 10 years ago, but as PP said I then remember why we broke up as fundamentally he couldn't change.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to determine why you broke up and if there is any possiblity of fixing whatever the reason was. I missed an ex for a good five years. I could probably manage some tears now if I thought about him.

Fundamentally, we are not a good match. We wanted different things out of life. He wanted a very traditional life - ballroom wedding, house in the suburbs, 9 to 5 job. I wanted none of that. Still waiting to find someone I loved as much as him, but I am so happy I am not living that life (and happy he is).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to determine why you broke up and if there is any possiblity of fixing whatever the reason was. I missed an ex for a good five years. I could probably manage some tears now if I thought about him.

Fundamentally, we are not a good match. We wanted different things out of life. He wanted a very traditional life - ballroom wedding, house in the suburbs, 9 to 5 job. I wanted none of that. Still waiting to find someone I loved as much as him, but I am so happy I am not living that life (and happy he is).

Fortunately, we didn’t have any fundamental differences. We just weren’t good at communicating and that eventually lead to stupid arguments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you break up, OP?

We didn’t communicate well which lead to frequent arguing over stupid things.

[Anonymous]

In hindsight, every time I've missed my ex, I have realized that what I missed wasn't the reality of what we actually had. I missed the idea. I missed the possibility. I wanted a do-over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In hindsight, every time I've missed my ex, I have realized that what I missed wasn't the reality of what we actually had. I missed the idea. I missed the possibility. I wanted a do-over.

That's usually how it works