How much say does your teen have in how their room is decorated (Christmas lights)

[Anonymous]

Very grown up. Very clean. I am an immigrant who was establishing myself when kids were little, so my kids got queen-sized beds and adult furniture and huge closets with closet systems. This was so that when we had guests they could actually use their rooms. Their cribs were set up in the master bedroom so that I could nurse them at night etc. Over the years, I have seen then set up wall art and choose bed linen that they liked. But by and large it is a grown up room. Yes, my kids moved from cribs to queen sized beds!

[Anonymous]

My Teen DS has lights up, stickers all over, and he currently is working a La Croix wall tower. His room.

[Anonymous]

I guess mine are the only kids with rooms that look professionally decorated? Custom dark green velvet curtains, fancy 9x12 rug, matching bedding, custom pillows, Ballard chandelier, carefully collected paintings on the walls and I refinished the entire bedroom set really well. Daughters is the same but with pink and pink silk curtains. They love their rooms and really haven’t ever asked for posters. They can put whatever they want on their dressers.

I remember I loved helping my mom decorate my room when I was a teen.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you the person who doesn’t like her daughter dressing in vintage? Your post has the same weird, controlling vibe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess mine are the only kids with rooms that look professionally decorated? Custom dark green velvet curtains, fancy 9x12 rug, matching bedding, custom pillows, Ballard chandelier, carefully collected paintings on the walls and I refinished the entire bedroom set really well. Daughters is the same but with pink and pink silk curtains. They love their rooms and really haven’t ever asked for posters. They can put whatever they want on their dressers.

I remember I loved helping my mom decorate my room when I was a teen.

OP here

Yes, when I was a teen I wanted posters on my wall (80's/90's) but my mom wouldn't let me. I couldn't have ANYTHING on my wall unless there was a frame around it. And it had to be tasteful...I remember I had some print of ballet slippers and roses (I wasn't a ballerina but I liked the ballet in general) and one of a flute (I played.) There was NO WAY my mom would have let me have a poster of my favorite music group or a "teen heart throb" or anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you the person who doesn’t like her daughter dressing in vintage? Your post has the same weird, controlling vibe.

No. I don't have a daughter.

[Anonymous]

When I was in high school I still had pink bow wall paper. I’m sure if I asked my parents would have changed it but I never thought to ask and decorated over it with posters. I was huge into the musical Rent and had printed the words to La Vie Boheme and put them on the wall. One day my mom was just hanging out and noticed the word dildo was there and she was like you can’t have that on your wall and literally cut out the one word. Missing all the other words that were probably more offensive to her! But other than that as long as I didn’t damage anything (beyond thumb tack holes) I could do what I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess mine are the only kids with rooms that look professionally decorated? Custom dark green velvet curtains, fancy 9x12 rug, matching bedding, custom pillows, Ballard chandelier, carefully collected paintings on the walls and I refinished the entire bedroom set really well. Daughters is the same but with pink and pink silk curtains. They love their rooms and really haven’t ever asked for posters. They can put whatever they want on their dressers.

I remember I loved helping my mom decorate my room when I was a teen.

OP here

Yes, when I was a teen I wanted posters on my wall (80's/90's) but my mom wouldn't let me. I couldn't have ANYTHING on my wall unless there was a frame around it. And it had to be tasteful...I remember I had some print of ballet slippers and roses (I wasn't a ballerina but I liked the ballet in general) and one of a flute (I played.) There was NO WAY my mom would have let me have a poster of my favorite music group or a "teen heart throb" or anything.

And do you think she was right? It’s honestly hard to tell.

[Anonymous]

They started decorating their own rooms when they had opinion. I think my son has animal decals in preschool and my daughter had flowers or frozen. They picked them out themselves. Now they both have LED light strips all over their rooms. I said no to painting it black. That’s about it. As a tween my room was covered in New Kids on the Block Posters and ripped out pages of magazines.

[Anonymous]

No permanent damage, and no filth that leads to rodents. Other than that, I do ask that I can see the floor on occasion, but can decorate and maintain as they wish. They each chose paint colors when we moved and were old enough to have a say. Furniture was chosen by me when they were young, but we’ve added and removed some things as they’ve aged. I figure when they move out, we’ll repaint and purge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:omg, let him have the lights and thank a higher power it's not naked titties and pot posters!

That’s where I would draw the line. Not acceptable

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My teenagers’ bedrooms have doors. I shut them. Done.

This.

My husband likes them to keep to perfectly clean. I don’t have the energy to care. That’s his fight a couple times per month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Teen DS has lights up, stickers all over, and he currently is working a La Croix wall tower. His room.

Good practice for his beer tower in college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't be a control freak. As long as it's not truly inappropriate (e.g., porn hanging on the walls), let them have one space in the hours that is theirs.

This. As long as no damage is being done, and no safety issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess mine are the only kids with rooms that look professionally decorated? Custom dark green velvet curtains, fancy 9x12 rug, matching bedding, custom pillows, Ballard chandelier, carefully collected paintings on the walls and I refinished the entire bedroom set really well. Daughters is the same but with pink and pink silk curtains. They love their rooms and really haven’t ever asked for posters. They can put whatever they want on their dressers.

I remember I loved helping my mom decorate my room when I was a teen.

OP here

Yes, when I was a teen I wanted posters on my wall (80's/90's) but my mom wouldn't let me. I couldn't have ANYTHING on my wall unless there was a frame around it. And it had to be tasteful...I remember I had some print of ballet slippers and roses (I wasn't a ballerina but I liked the ballet in general) and one of a flute (I played.) There was NO WAY my mom would have let me have a poster of my favorite music group or a "teen heart throb" or anything.

OP, did you appreciate this about your mother? Is this a behavior you want to emulate? It seems like your mom's words and ways have more value on your present situation than they probably should. Go with your gut. In my opinion, you should let him have the lights.