Middle school kids prep for college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would make them work on a vaccine for this virus. You could order a junior chemistry set on Amazon, and they could use it to make a vaccine. That would really help them with their college application. Yeah, that’s it.

winner winner chicken dinner

[Anonymous]

OP the truth is in this town, EVERYONE is preparing their kids for college, some from Pre-K immersion programs to creating musical prodigies.

You are just in the wrong place for asking how.

[Anonymous]

How do you prep your MS kids for college? 1) let the discover who they are, 2) let them work out the schedules for school work so they learn the implications of not getting things done, 3) don't worry about college yet.

Let the kids define their passion, and encourage them.

Realize that there are many more viable options than the top 20 colleges; there is minimal correlation in life outcomes to the elite schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you prep your MS kids for college? 1) let the discover who they are, 2) let them work out the schedules for school work so they learn the implications of not getting things done, 3) don't worry about college yet.

4) Make sure they know how to do laundry, clean the kitchen and bathrooms, and cook a simple meal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you prep your MS kids for college? 1) let the discover who they are, 2) let them work out the schedules for school work so they learn the implications of not getting things done, 3) don't worry about college yet.

Let the kids define their passion, and encourage them.

Realize that there are many more viable options than the top 20 colleges; there is minimal correlation in life outcomes to the elite schools.

This, above.

OP, you cited some ideas that people love to claim are universally true on these forums: Applicants need "leadership positions" or should be "nationally ranked athletes." You imply that your kids "haven't aced" activities so that's going to hurt them, the idea being that they must "ace" or be outstanding at anything they want to tell colleges about, I guess?

Please don't buy into that stereotype. My DC went through college admissions last year and is a freshman now. I know a LOT of DC's friends well and I know about their activities. None was a nationally ranked athlete (or even a state level athlete). The "leadership positions" were not "student government president, president of five different clubs, Eagle Scout, Gold Award Girl Scout" etc.

And none did the dreaded "I founded a charity in eighth grade to save the world by knitting caps for babies" or whatever. Lots of real service in the community but not the faked-up kind. Colleges now can smell that on a application, OP. If it's genuine, great, but if it's done with parental prompting and an eye on applications--it will show.

These kids all got into schools they wanted. They're fine. My DC was not the ace at anything but did show huge consistency (very consistent performing arts extracurriculars for years though never a "star performer," very consistent with an instrument, participated in a lot of opportunities for playing music) and did some unusual things that are not on the usual "star athlete/class president" list (was on the board of a school museum; attended a specialized writing camp...for fun). No, not in selective state orchestras, didn't publish a novel at 16, didn't achieve the highest levels in Scouting etc., didn't walk off with awards on senior awards day. And is now at DC's first choice college. The key is showing commitment and maybe doing some things that are outside the usual box of "leadership position, star athlete, noble savior of the world."

This is why it's best to let your kids find something THEY feel passionate about and pursue it, even if you think it's not on the classic leadership/star track. They do not have to be the stars and standouts at everything they do; they have to be able to show why they kept pursuing their activity even though they weren't the stars. If they do end up as Eagle Scouts or high scorers, because they love Scouting or adore basketball--that's truly great. But your post worryingly sounds like you want to push them to "ace" things with an eye toward college.

You are far, far better off ensuring they have strong writing and analytical skills than pushing them to rack up perfection in activities. Here's why: A student who can write a terrific application essay about his genuine interest in his activities is going to do fine on college admissions. Those are the ones who really stand out because SO many applicants will be the captain of this, president of that, and top kid at whatever. It's the student who can TELL a college why he cares about something who will really stand out. And he can't tell a college that unless he (1) genuinely is doing an activity he wants to be doing and (2) has worked on writing skills to express that genuine interest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These responses are BS. There are tons of parents in this area prepping MSers for elite colleges. OP was just blunt about it.

This !!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP the truth is in this town, EVERYONE is preparing their kids for college, some from Pre-K immersion programs to creating musical prodigies.

You are just in the wrong place for asking how.

OP here, I know and was hoping for the secret sauce recipe to be shared. But I guess there are more negative folks here who resent on the idea of sharing. I know some of these folks will have a different attitude once the dollars are offered. I asked a similar question on another forum and I was offered a consulting fee of $200 an hour.

Hey folks we are not torturing our kids or deciding careers for them. We are simply showing them a path so they can decide best for themselves. It’s good to have an aim and desire. That’s why most of you make your kids tour the universities and colleges in their freshman year. We encourage reading in our home but since libraries are closed and we can’t afford to buy tons of books. Our kids are getting drawn to video games all the time. Also all activities are closed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you prep your MS kids for college? 1) let the discover who they are, 2) let them work out the schedules for school work so they learn the implications of not getting things done, 3) don't worry about college yet.

4) Make sure they know how to do laundry, clean the kitchen and bathrooms, and cook a simple meal.

OP here, they do all that. Boy Scouts is a great program and we are so grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you prep your MS kids for college? 1) let the discover who they are, 2) let them work out the schedules for school work so they learn the implications of not getting things done, 3) don't worry about college yet.

Let the kids define their passion, and encourage them.

Realize that there are many more viable options than the top 20 colleges; there is minimal correlation in life outcomes to the elite schools.

This, above.

OP, you cited some ideas that people love to claim are universally true on these forums: Applicants need "leadership positions" or should be "nationally ranked athletes." You imply that your kids "haven't aced" activities so that's going to hurt them, the idea being that they must "ace" or be outstanding at anything they want to tell colleges about, I guess?

Please don't buy into that stereotype. My DC went through college admissions last year and is a freshman now. I know a LOT of DC's friends well and I know about their activities. None was a nationally ranked athlete (or even a state level athlete). The "leadership positions" were not "student government president, president of five different clubs, Eagle Scout, Gold Award Girl Scout" etc.

And none did the dreaded "I founded a charity in eighth grade to save the world by knitting caps for babies" or whatever. Lots of real service in the community but not the faked-up kind. Colleges now can smell that on a application, OP. If it's genuine, great, but if it's done with parental prompting and an eye on applications--it will show.

These kids all got into schools they wanted. They're fine. My DC was not the ace at anything but did show huge consistency (very consistent performing arts extracurriculars for years though never a "star performer," very consistent with an instrument, participated in a lot of opportunities for playing music) and did some unusual things that are not on the usual "star athlete/class president" list (was on the board of a school museum; attended a specialized writing camp...for fun). No, not in selective state orchestras, didn't publish a novel at 16, didn't achieve the highest levels in Scouting etc., didn't walk off with awards on senior awards day. And is now at DC's first choice college. The key is showing commitment and maybe doing some things that are outside the usual box of "leadership position, star athlete, noble savior of the world."

This is why it's best to let your kids find something THEY feel passionate about and pursue it, even if you think it's not on the classic leadership/star track. They do not have to be the stars and standouts at everything they do; they have to be able to show why they kept pursuing their activity even though they weren't the stars. If they do end up as Eagle Scouts or high scorers, because they love Scouting or adore basketball--that's truly great. But your post worryingly sounds like you want to push them to "ace" things with an eye toward college.

You are far, far better off ensuring they have strong writing and analytical skills than pushing them to rack up perfection in activities. Here's why: A student who can write a terrific application essay about his genuine interest in his activities is going to do fine on college admissions. Those are the ones who really stand out because SO many applicants will be the captain of this, president of that, and top kid at whatever. It's the student who can TELL a college why he cares about something who will really stand out. And he can't tell a college that unless he (1) genuinely is doing an activity he wants to be doing and (2) has worked on writing skills to express that genuine interest.

OP here. Thank you 🙏 this is helpful.

I should be careful next time with my choice of words. We are surrounded with Uber competitive parents and no one is ready to share. Obviously I don’t want my kids to be left behind. I was hoping parents whose kids who are no competition to my children and their kids are now set for the desired universities will offer help / advice. That’s all.

My children over a course of time have tried so many activities. The ones I listed are the ones they are still excited about.

I agree on the reading and writing part. It’s very important. I have heard this from all the parents with kids in Universities. We were hoping to send them to summer camps for writing this year but it won’t be happening.

Thank you again and stay safe!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP the truth is in this town, EVERYONE is preparing their kids for college, some from Pre-K immersion programs to creating musical prodigies.

You are just in the wrong place for asking how.

OP here, I know and was hoping for the secret sauce recipe to be shared. But I guess there are more negative folks here who resent on the idea of sharing. I know some of these folks will have a different attitude once the dollars are offered. I asked a similar question on another forum and I was offered a consulting fee of $200 an hour.

Hey folks we are not torturing our kids or deciding careers for them. We are simply showing them a path so they can decide best for themselves. It’s good to have an aim and desire. That’s why most of you make your kids tour the universities and colleges in their freshman year. We encourage reading in our home but since libraries are closed and we can’t afford to buy tons of books. Our kids are getting drawn to video games all the time. Also all activities are closed.

Freshman year??? Really?? DD is a sophomore at Stanford and we started tours junior. OP you really need to back off. Top school or bust mindset isn't going to help you or your kids.

[Anonymous]

I have a 7th grader and 6th grader too. I am not doing anything at all for college. They go to school, they get rewarded for A's. We (normally) go to the library once a week. We talk about stuff going on in the world at dinner. They do stuff for fun. They do stuff to make the world a better place.

I refuse to stress my kids out about college at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP the truth is in this town, EVERYONE is preparing their kids for college, some from Pre-K immersion programs to creating musical prodigies.

You are just in the wrong place for asking how.

OP here, I know and was hoping for the secret sauce recipe to be shared. But I guess there are more negative folks here who resent on the idea of sharing. I know some of these folks will have a different attitude once the dollars are offered. I asked a similar question on another forum and I was offered a consulting fee of $200 an hour.

Hey folks we are not torturing our kids or deciding careers for them. We are simply showing them a path so they can decide best for themselves. It’s good to have an aim and desire. That’s why most of you make your kids tour the universities and colleges in their freshman year. We encourage reading in our home but since libraries are closed and we can’t afford to buy tons of books. Our kids are getting drawn to video games all the time. Also all activities are closed.

Well to be honest (I'm the PP you're quoting) the reason this is the wrong place is yes, there are uber competitive parents. But those who are getting it right are just not saying how. Then there are folks who pretend not to be doing anything "let them play!" and then there are those who are genuinely clueless. There's a lot of them in the college forum and some without kids but with lots of opinions.

Encourage what they like doing, don't crush them if they give stuff up. If they are focused on one or two things they love and do well then you're headed in the right direction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 7th grader and 6th grader too. I am not doing anything at all for college. They go to school, they get rewarded for A's. We (normally) go to the library once a week. We talk about stuff going on in the world at dinner. They do stuff for fun. They do stuff to make the world a better place.

I refuse to stress my kids out about college at this point.

This is good advice. And, if they enjoy sports, let them play. For the first few years of HS, I would do a silent eye roll when my DD would talk about playing volleyball in college; thought it was a dumb reason to pick a school. She is a junior now, and while her travel season and college visits got canceled due to Covid-19, she was already in discussions with elite LACs who are recruiting her. She has always been a good, solid student. I would never stress her or her twin brother out in MS with trying to prep for college. Had I encountered any parents like that, it would be difficult for me not to be critical. I think you should let your kids enjoy middle school and focus on college in HS.

[Anonymous]

I think my question for OP would be why it’s so important to you that your child go to one of a few “top” schools now, when your child is 12 and you have no idea who they will end up to be.

Aside from law, most of the “successful” people I know did not go to top 10 schools. And as a lawyer, frankly I would discourage law school. Most lawyers are miserable.

[Anonymous]

Just save your money. That’s the best way to prepare. Let your kids be kids, and save, save, save.