If you had a good job offer in Hawaii, would you move there? Why or why not?

[Anonymous]

I wouldnt. I wouldn't like being so far away from the "mainland". It would be expensive to get anywhere. I couldn't see myself getting established there and I am tired of moving every few years. Could you see yourself living there for a while? If not, would you mind moving again? Keep in mind, that's a huge expense.

[Anonymous]

OP here -- thanks again to all, here is my situation, and line of thinking given the comments above:

Cost - DH will soon be a military retiree, so we can use all the military facilities in HI for lower cost food/clothing. I find DC to be a very expensive place in terms of housing costs - prior to DC, we lived in the San Francisco Bay area, which was also super expensive....we have a small place in NOVA now, but it is in a great location. So I figure we will sacrifice space for location in HI too. My job in HI would be lower paying than what I make here in DC, but they give a significant COLA for HI, so I think I would make about the same. But I have more earning potential in DC, whereas in HI, my salary will top out in a few years.

Schools - DD goes to a great public school in Arlington. This is my major concern.

Weather - I hate cold weather, and love palm trees/sunshine/warmth. I can also deal with the cockroaches (hate them, but grew up in FL with lots of em - just need a good pest control company). My DD wants a cat, but I am allergic -- I could get her one there since the cat can live outside.

Family - not super close, they live in FL, but they usu. visit 1-2 times per year; I'd send my DD to visit grandparents whenever she could (summer/Xmas break) -- they are old and would find travel to HI difficult and they'd be really sad to have their only grandchild so far away

I am really afraid of making a terrible mistake though...I love my job in DC - I can work from home half of the time. The job in HI would require me to go to the office every day, and it would probably be more stressful.

Thanks for all of the replies so far!

[Anonymous]

My sister lived on Oahu for 3 years and Kauai for 1 year, and she's now living in Boston finishing her PhD and can't wait to get back to the islands. I visited her 3 times while she was there and we did some traveling to other islands as well. A lot depends on which island you'll be living on and where in particular on the island. Oahu is the most "Americanized" and overrun with tourists (Honolulu in particular), the Big Island retains the most Hawaiian culture in general, etc. So that can make a huge difference in terms of your experience.

As other PPs have noted, everything on every island is expensive and it's a haul to get to the mainland. There are strict quarantine rules for pets, so be sure to look into all the requirements if you have pets you're planning to take with you. No kids, so no direct experience with the schools, but if you'll be in Honolulu, Punahou is one of the top private schools.

The racism thing is pretty pervasive toward people from the mainland, whether transplant or tourist. But my sister discovered that much depends on your attitude to living there. For example, "island time" runs waaaay slower than what we're used to on the east coast - if you're impatient or snappy with folks, it will *not* go over well. You may find that the culture shock is too extreme or that living in paradise isn't all it's cracked up to be - would it be easy for you to move back if that's the case? Or you may fall in love with it and stay forever - you would certainly not be the first! No matter where you are it is beautiful and the rainbows never get old.

[Anonymous]

OP here again -- one major detail I failed to mention...I have never even been to Hawaii, not even for vacation! But my DH has and he LOVES it. He knows me very well (we've been married 10 years), and he believes I will love it too. I will likely have to make a decision in a couple of months, and for various reasons I won't go into here, I will not have an opportunity to visit before I have to make the decision!!!

[Anonymous]

OP again -- the job would be in Honolulu (Oahu). I could come back to DC if I had to, but really don't want to move out there unless it is for long-term/for good. DH and I have lived all over the place (US and international) b/c of the Army. The only other places we would love to live are CA or the Mediterranean - Italy, Spain, etc. Basically, we decided we liked this area and would stay in NOVA/DC, unless we got jobs in HI, CA, or Med.

[Anonymous]

Could you go into it thinking that you'll give it something like 5 years to really see how you like it, and then you could reassess if you needed to? Or would that make it even harder to contemplate?

Honolulu is probably the least "Hawaiian" place in the islands, but that might not bother you as much as it bothered me when we visited.

[Anonymous]

OP - how long would you be there? Is it a three year assignment? You said it is with the Army, but you can stay as long as you want? Also, I believe the places you mentioned are on the top of almost every military families' list of places they want to live! What is it you like about here? Would any of that convey to your new destination? Just some considerations.

[Anonymous]

I grew up on Oahu, and I now live in DC. Would I live there now? No, not because of cost (because DC has gotten so expensive that DC and Honolulu are quite comparable), but because there is so much less to do out there, unless you are really into water sports or hiking. There are not a lot of museums, infrequent shows, a symphony that is OK but constantly lacking funding, few bookstores, a mediocre state university, etc., etc. Public schools are bad, especially near the army base. Flying to CA takes almost 6 hours.

On the plus side, the private schools are fantastic and quite inexpensive compared to privates in DC--check Iolani (very academically competitive, lots of Asian American kids) and Punahou (amazing for its resources, mixture of white and Asian American kids). Natural beauty is unsurpassed. People are friendly. Safe. Healthy environment--great weather, outdoors all the time, excellent Asian and pan-Asian/Pacific cuisine.

[Anonymous]

I would in a heartbeat.

[Anonymous]

OP again - thanks everyone. Let me clarify - not moving for a military assignment (DH is retiring from the military soon). It would be a permanent move based upon my job offer. If we really hated it, yes, we could move back to DC. But in that case, I'd rather not move in the first place.

I love the outdoors, warm weather, and enjoying stuff all year round like hiking, tennis, beaches, jogging (outdoors), etc. Weather is a very significant factor for me in terms of quality of life. I do love all that DC has to offer, but I think I am yearning for a slower pace, and more opportunties for DD to have outdoor play.

Thank you 00:08 for your insight. I love all the pluses you mentioned - including friendly people, safety, great weather/outdoors. At this point, I am leaning towards making the move.

Major issue is schooling for elementary age DD. This is perhaps the only factor that would convince me not to do it. The move would be this summer. I have not applied to any private schools for DD and I am sure I've missed all sorts of deadlines for the 2010-2011 school year. If I have to go public for the next year, are there any public elementary schools in Honolulu that are good? I looked some up on www.greatschools.net and there were a few that scored "10" on their ranking, such as Waikiki Elementary and some others. I know these rankings are not the end all and be all, but since I cannot visit and do not know anyone in Honolulu, I am hoping someone can provide some insight about this. Are these "10" ranked public schools terrible too? Thanks to anyone with insight on the schools issue. And please keep any other comments/insight coming!! I really appreciate it!!

[Anonymous]

I've vacationed in Hawaii for just two weeks, so, I cannot provide a great amount of insight. But, the islands are tiny and I remember feeling cut-off from rest of the world... which can be a good thing, sometimes. But, also noted that it would be difficult to evacuate for tropical storms, tsunamis, etc.

[Anonymous]

My father was in the Army and we were posted to Hawaii from 84-86. I attended 7th and 8th grades at a public school there in Honolulu. I would never put my children through what my brother and I experienced. Discrimination against kids from the "mainland" was rampant and at times violent, although I had no problem defending myself (having built up those self defense "talents" at the prior location we had lived at, a small small town in upstate NY). I have vivid recollections of discrimination being conducted not just by fellow students but often by the teachers and other school officials themselves. (Granted, having experienced that gave me a much greater appreciation and sensitivity for those populations who have faced years of discrimination themselves.) Being in 7th and 8th grade was already tumultuous just given the ages involved, but having to live day-to-day in this environment certainly didn't help matters. A silver lining was the fact that at least we lived on a military base, so I had somewhat of a cocoon to escape to outside of school, being alongside fellow kids who were also military brats.

My mother really enjoyed Hawaii, however. Lots of shopping and sight-seeing, and just a beautiful island overall.

[Anonymous]

You might read the book "Waking Up in Eden" before you make your decision. The author moved to Hawaii for a job at a botanical garden. It's an interesting book.

[Anonymous]

No.
Very expensive.
Bad public schools.
Nothing to do there with kids, except swimming.

[Anonymous]

Go on HonoluluMommies.com. They might have some informed answers.

FWIW my friend moved there five years ago and found a kindergarten space in a private school even though it was March.