Parents, please don’t ask me to stay after school and tutor your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never would have gotten through math classes in high school if my saint of a teacher didn't make herself available nearly every day after school for an hour to help me and other students.

I took her for granted!

I’m actually a math teacher as well. And it’s things like this that keep me from saying no. But honestly, I don’t want too! I don’t feel that there should be an expectation that teachers should just give up their own personal time and be happy to do it. We are people with lives and families.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they aren’t paying attention during class. I get parents asking me to work after school with their kids before tests, because the student hasn’t done the homework, hasn’t used his class time well, goofs off with friends or plays computer games while I am teaching, and then I am asked to re-teach the whole chapter to the kid on my own time.

Situations like this is why the word “no” was invented. Have a list of tutors ready when you decline. Done.

I’m at a low income school.

[Anonymous]

I would never do this. I know that there are plenty of parents who would be thoughtless, though.

I can see, also, how there might be some confused parents out there. In my experience with kids in MS and HS, the teachers are all over the place in terms of expectations, adhering to the guidelines set forth in the syllabus, adhering to 504 guidelines, offering help during free periods and after school. The lack of consistency between teachers can be confusing (not saying it’s wrong!), and I could see how a parent who hasn’t been around the block might think that Ms B offers after school help since Mr W and Ms C do. Especially if they ask their kid if Ms B offers after school help and the kid says “I think so.”

Not saying that’s the case with you, just pointing out a different viewpoint. Absolutely tell them that you aren’t available after school!

[Anonymous]

Our teachers are always available after school to help kids in middle school and high school. Even an elementary teacher could find some time at the end of the day to help some students. Maybe you should ask for a mentor and see what’s up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they aren’t paying attention during class. I get parents asking me to work after school with their kids before tests, because the student hasn’t done the homework, hasn’t used his class time well, goofs off with friends or plays computer games while I am teaching, and then I am asked to re-teach the whole chapter to the kid on my own time.

What do you say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our teachers are always available after school to help kids in middle school and high school. Even an elementary teacher could find some time at the end of the day to help some students. Maybe you should ask for a mentor and see what’s up.

Of course I could “find time” and I do. It’s just that time is my unpaid for personal time and I’m resentful of people simply treating it like an expectation. I would bet a great many teachers at your school who do it aren’t happy about it as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our teachers are always available after school to help kids in middle school and high school. Even an elementary teacher could find some time at the end of the day to help some students. Maybe you should ask for a mentor and see what’s up.

Of course I could “find time” and I do. It’s just that time is my unpaid for personal time and I’m resentful of people simply treating it like an expectation. I would bet a great many teachers at your school who do it aren’t happy about it as well.

ETA it takes a great deal of courage to be the teacher who says no, when so many other teachers do it. It’s part of the reason why teachers are so overworked. Teachers are placed under a lot of guilt for not doing things. And no one want to be the teacher “who doesn’t care about the kids.”

[Anonymous]

Responding to OP who wrote “It just seems rather presumptuous that parents would expect it, yet it seems to be a common expectation. In our society. And I have heard people criticize teachers who “don’t want to stay after and help out kids”. Yes, I care about kids and want them to do well, but to put it bluntly. Not at the expense of my own (very little) personal time.”

I want to support you as a teacher Op but I am 52 and all my teachers stayed after school. This is not a new phenomenon.

And not to pile on but I am in a helping profession and I help clients outside of work hours in my own very little personal time. It’s my career not a job. I get having boundaries and not being exploited or taken advantage of but a professional role often requires ( weekly) doing a bit more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they aren’t paying attention during class. I get parents asking me to work after school with their kids before tests, because the student hasn’t done the homework, hasn’t used his class time well, goofs off with friends or plays computer games while I am teaching, and then I am asked to re-teach the whole chapter to the kid on my own time.

What do you say?

I usually say yes. I know... I know. I am happy to help anyone who is truly working and needs help. I do it all of the time so it’s hard to turn down the other kid. I did hit a wall with this child this year and have now told his parents I won’t work with him outside of school. We had a disciplinary issue where he was rude, defiant, and lied to me. That’s when I finally shut it down. The parents actually understood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our teachers are always available after school to help kids in middle school and high school. Even an elementary teacher could find some time at the end of the day to help some students. Maybe you should ask for a mentor and see what’s up.

“Even an elementary teacher.”

Oh honey. You have zero idea what my job entails. But you’re cute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just smile and say "Sure, I charge $30 an hour for private tutoring and am available Tuesday or Thursday."

Or just say "Sorry, I'm currently not accepting any new tutoring clients." And then refer them to someone good who wants the money.

Ha! $30. Try $80-$100

[Anonymous]

Are there teachers who don’t hate their work anymore? I swear, everywhere I turn teachers are talking about how awful their jobs are. At this point I get nervous asking my kid’s teacher anything for fear of inconveniencing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you just smile and say "Sure, I charge $30 an hour for private tutoring and am available Tuesday or Thursday."

Or just say "Sorry, I'm currently not accepting any new tutoring clients." And then refer them to someone good who wants the money.

Ha! $30. Try $80-$100

Teachers I know tutor in the $75-$100 per hour range but not for students who are currently their students, that's against school policy. They can tutor kids in other grades and they do often do it after school, but not for free. If a kid in their current class needs a tutor they refer the parent to another teacher who can work with them.

[Anonymous]

I don’t see anyone on this thread saying they hate their teaching jobs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anyone on this thread saying they hate their teaching jobs.

Yet they despise the job enough to holler if it goes 15 minutes past clock-out.