How can parents help high risk classmates at child’s school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a great question, and I love that, according to the replies here, at least some PTAs are good about helping students. I wish that were the same across the board! I've reached out to our IB school's PTO (Bunker Hill) multiple times as a community member, not a school parent (our kids are too young for school still), to see if we can help satisfy any needs that students or the school might have (e.g., clothes, books, art supplies, etc.) and they have not once taken us up on our offer to help. It's unreal, because we know--through a teacher and other parents in the neighborhood whose children attend the school--that there are kids at the school who are in need of things like winter clothes and the like. It's noteworthy to us, as we're looking for a school community for our kids that welcomes support, has an active and engaged parent community, and is committed to helping students in need within the school community. Hopefully OP will get a better response from his/her local school's PTA/PTO.

They probably need to become a little more robust a PTA before they have the bandwidth for this. Or nobody is checking the email account. Just drop things off at the front desk, that is fine even if you don't go there.

[Anonymous]

Some schools install washing machines and dryers in a parent lounge so families can do laundry. PTA can help with detergent and such.

Agreed that worn clothing is not a good indicator of poverty. I volunteer with homeless kids and some are generally better dressed, and more careful about not messing up their clothes, than my middle and upper class friends. Others are in stained or dirty clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a great question, and I love that, according to the replies here, at least some PTAs are good about helping students. I wish that were the same across the board! I've reached out to our IB school's PTO (Bunker Hill) multiple times as a community member, not a school parent (our kids are too young for school still), to see if we can help satisfy any needs that students or the school might have (e.g., clothes, books, art supplies, etc.) and they have not once taken us up on our offer to help. It's unreal, because we know--through a teacher and other parents in the neighborhood whose children attend the school--that there are kids at the school who are in need of things like winter clothes and the like. It's noteworthy to us, as we're looking for a school community for our kids that welcomes support, has an active and engaged parent community, and is committed to helping students in need within the school community. Hopefully OP will get a better response from his/her local school's PTA/PTO.

I wouldn't assume that the PTO doesn't care or doesn't want your help. They might be very skeletal, or they know the school manages these requests directly, etc. At our school the PTO doesn't manage this at all, it's done by school social workers.

[Anonymous]

Tbh when I did PTO, I found these donations to be mostly low value and often not worth the time and effort it took to deal with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is such a great question, and I love that, according to the replies here, at least some PTAs are good about helping students. I wish that were the same across the board! I've reached out to our IB school's PTO (Bunker Hill) multiple times as a community member, not a school parent (our kids are too young for school still), to see if we can help satisfy any needs that students or the school might have (e.g., clothes, books, art supplies, etc.) and they have not once taken us up on our offer to help. It's unreal, because we know--through a teacher and other parents in the neighborhood whose children attend the school--that there are kids at the school who are in need of things like winter clothes and the like. It's noteworthy to us, as we're looking for a school community for our kids that welcomes support, has an active and engaged parent community, and is committed to helping students in need within the school community. Hopefully OP will get a better response from his/her local school's PTA/PTO.

Multiple requests have been sent to families for donations to Bunker Hill's clothing closet. I've left donations in the parent lounge across from the main office and I noticed several bags of clothing when I passed by the other day. Bunker Hill's PTO is barely a year old and they are working hard to address multiple needs for our school community.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a great question, and I love that, according to the replies here, at least some PTAs are good about helping students. I wish that were the same across the board! I've reached out to our IB school's PTO (Bunker Hill) multiple times as a community member, not a school parent (our kids are too young for school still), to see if we can help satisfy any needs that students or the school might have (e.g., clothes, books, art supplies, etc.) and they have not once taken us up on our offer to help. It's unreal, because we know--through a teacher and other parents in the neighborhood whose children attend the school--that there are kids at the school who are in need of things like winter clothes and the like. It's noteworthy to us, as we're looking for a school community for our kids that welcomes support, has an active and engaged parent community, and is committed to helping students in need within the school community. Hopefully OP will get a better response from his/her local school's PTA/PTO.

Multiple requests have been sent to families for donations to Bunker Hill's clothing closet. I've left donations in the parent lounge across from the main office and I noticed several bags of clothing when I passed by the other day. Bunker Hill's PTO is barely a year old and they are working hard to address multiple needs for our school community.

Way to go team BH!! We are here to support you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a great question, and I love that, according to the replies here, at least some PTAs are good about helping students. I wish that were the same across the board! I've reached out to our IB school's PTO (Bunker Hill) multiple times as a community member, not a school parent (our kids are too young for school still), to see if we can help satisfy any needs that students or the school might have (e.g., clothes, books, art supplies, etc.) and they have not once taken us up on our offer to help. It's unreal, because we know--through a teacher and other parents in the neighborhood whose children attend the school--that there are kids at the school who are in need of things like winter clothes and the like. It's noteworthy to us, as we're looking for a school community for our kids that welcomes support, has an active and engaged parent community, and is committed to helping students in need within the school community. Hopefully OP will get a better response from his/her local school's PTA/PTO.

Multiple requests have been sent to families for donations to Bunker Hill's clothing closet. I've left donations in the parent lounge across from the main office and I noticed several bags of clothing when I passed by the other day. Bunker Hill's PTO is barely a year old and they are working hard to address multiple needs for our school community.

Way to go team BH!! We are here to support you!

Bunker Hill parents, have you been matched with a law firm yet? They can help you with your nonprofit paperwork, give you office supplies, donate, help with any number of projects. See the Washington Lawyers' Committee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a great question, and I love that, according to the replies here, at least some PTAs are good about helping students. I wish that were the same across the board! I've reached out to our IB school's PTO (Bunker Hill) multiple times as a community member, not a school parent (our kids are too young for school still), to see if we can help satisfy any needs that students or the school might have (e.g., clothes, books, art supplies, etc.) and they have not once taken us up on our offer to help. It's unreal, because we know--through a teacher and other parents in the neighborhood whose children attend the school--that there are kids at the school who are in need of things like winter clothes and the like. It's noteworthy to us, as we're looking for a school community for our kids that welcomes support, has an active and engaged parent community, and is committed to helping students in need within the school community. Hopefully OP will get a better response from his/her local school's PTA/PTO.

They probably need to become a little more robust a PTA before they have the bandwidth for this. Or nobody is checking the email account. Just drop things off at the front desk, that is fine even if you don't go there.

Instead of putting a PTA on blast and shaming them (assuming that there is a functioning one this school year), did you ask the school/teacher or parents how you could help?

Also, if you're on the Brookland or Brookland Kids FB group, type in Bunker Hill. There is a parent that hosts donation drives for Bunker Hill students.

You'll soon see when your kids are school-age just how much work it can be to run a PTA. Hope you remember this experience and step up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a great question, and I love that, according to the replies here, at least some PTAs are good about helping students. I wish that were the same across the board! I've reached out to our IB school's PTO (Bunker Hill) multiple times as a community member, not a school parent (our kids are too young for school still), to see if we can help satisfy any needs that students or the school might have (e.g., clothes, books, art supplies, etc.) and they have not once taken us up on our offer to help. It's unreal, because we know--through a teacher and other parents in the neighborhood whose children attend the school--that there are kids at the school who are in need of things like winter clothes and the like. It's noteworthy to us, as we're looking for a school community for our kids that welcomes support, has an active and engaged parent community, and is committed to helping students in need within the school community. Hopefully OP will get a better response from his/her local school's PTA/PTO.

Multiple requests have been sent to families for donations to Bunker Hill's clothing closet. I've left donations in the parent lounge across from the main office and I noticed several bags of clothing when I passed by the other day. Bunker Hill's PTO is barely a year old and they are working hard to address multiple needs for our school community.

Way to go team BH!! We are here to support you!

Bunker Hill parents, have you been matched with a law firm yet? They can help you with your nonprofit paperwork, give you office supplies, donate, help with any number of projects. See the Washington Lawyers' Committee.

Yes, the PTO has been working with WLC to get up and running. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a great question, and I love that, according to the replies here, at least some PTAs are good about helping students. I wish that were the same across the board! I've reached out to our IB school's PTO (Bunker Hill) multiple times as a community member, not a school parent (our kids are too young for school still), to see if we can help satisfy any needs that students or the school might have (e.g., clothes, books, art supplies, etc.) and they have not once taken us up on our offer to help. It's unreal, because we know--through a teacher and other parents in the neighborhood whose children attend the school--that there are kids at the school who are in need of things like winter clothes and the like. It's noteworthy to us, as we're looking for a school community for our kids that welcomes support, has an active and engaged parent community, and is committed to helping students in need within the school community. Hopefully OP will get a better response from his/her local school's PTA/PTO.

Multiple requests have been sent to families for donations to Bunker Hill's clothing closet. I've left donations in the parent lounge across from the main office and I noticed several bags of clothing when I passed by the other day. Bunker Hill's PTO is barely a year old and they are working hard to address multiple needs for our school community.

Way to go team BH!! We are here to support you!

Bunker Hill parents, have you been matched with a law firm yet? They can help you with your nonprofit paperwork, give you office supplies, donate, help with any number of projects. See the Washington Lawyers' Committee.

Yes, the PTO has been working with WLC to get up and running. Thanks!

Do not hesitate to reach out to other schools for mentorship as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such a great question, and I love that, according to the replies here, at least some PTAs are good about helping students. I wish that were the same across the board! I've reached out to our IB school's PTO (Bunker Hill) multiple times as a community member, not a school parent (our kids are too young for school still), to see if we can help satisfy any needs that students or the school might have (e.g., clothes, books, art supplies, etc.) and they have not once taken us up on our offer to help. It's unreal, because we know--through a teacher and other parents in the neighborhood whose children attend the school--that there are kids at the school who are in need of things like winter clothes and the like. It's noteworthy to us, as we're looking for a school community for our kids that welcomes support, has an active and engaged parent community, and is committed to helping students in need within the school community. Hopefully OP will get a better response from his/her local school's PTA/PTO.

They probably need to become a little more robust a PTA before they have the bandwidth for this. Or nobody is checking the email account. Just drop things off at the front desk, that is fine even if you don't go there.

Instead of putting a PTA on blast and shaming them (assuming that there is a functioning one this school year), did you ask the school/teacher or parents how you could help?

Also, if you're on the Brookland or Brookland Kids FB group, type in Bunker Hill. There is a parent that hosts donation drives for Bunker Hill students.

You'll soon see when your kids are school-age just how much work it can be to run a PTA. Hope you remember this experience and step up.

And feel free to make a donation to the PTO since you have so many concerns about the level of activity and engagement in the BH parent community. bunkerhilldcpto.org

[Anonymous]

OP, our school (about 40% FARMS, and maybe 20% UMC, with everyone else in the middle class) has a low-key but very effective uniform swap, and our school admin has a discreet stash of donated clothes that she passes on to families who could use it. Good on you to want to be involved. Agree with everyone that once you are in the community your perspective broadens a bit... it increased my desire to help without taking away someone dignity, and also seeing the basic equality of all the kids on a human level made me much more senstive about how to do it. My advice if you want to join a school like this is to listen a lot for the first year, learn about the communtiy and what the school does. so many people jump in with a "colonizer" mentality and it can be very counterproductive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, our school (about 40% FARMS, and maybe 20% UMC, with everyone else in the middle class) has a low-key but very effective uniform swap, and our school admin has a discreet stash of donated clothes that she passes on to families who could use it. Good on you to want to be involved. Agree with everyone that once you are in the community your perspective broadens a bit... it increased my desire to help without taking away someone dignity, and also seeing the basic equality of all the kids on a human level made me much more senstive about how to do it. My advice if you want to join a school like this is to listen a lot for the first year, learn about the communtiy and what the school does. so many people jump in with a "colonizer" mentality and it can be very counterproductive.

+1. Listen. Turn your listening way, way up. The information is available if you are able to hear it. But you have to be a discreet and perceptive observer to notice where help is needed without diminishing anyone's dignity. Don't ask too many questions about where the donations end up. The school staff is used to high-needs kids and they have their own ways figured out.

Just ask your classroom teacher if there's anything she needs. Offer to bring in extra granola bars for snack, knowing full well that it may end up in someone's backpack because that's their breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the weekend. When it's your child's birthday, find out if anyone else has a birthday around that time, and don't get your child's name on the cake so that you can pretend it's for both kids if needed. If you listen, observe, and reflect, you will see the needs as they appear.

Another thing you can do is be a vocal advocate for the upper grades at your school. PTOs in gentrifying schools tend to have a lot of preschool parents and they lack familiarity with upper elementary issues generally. Make sure that PTO funding is equitably distributed across the grades, and that the PTO is solicitous of those teachers, parents, and kids priorities. It may take a few years to really build this out but you can do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, our school (about 40% FARMS, and maybe 20% UMC, with everyone else in the middle class) has a low-key but very effective uniform swap, and our school admin has a discreet stash of donated clothes that she passes on to families who could use it. Good on you to want to be involved. Agree with everyone that once you are in the community your perspective broadens a bit... it increased my desire to help without taking away someone dignity, and also seeing the basic equality of all the kids on a human level made me much more senstive about how to do it. My advice if you want to join a school like this is to listen a lot for the first year, learn about the communtiy and what the school does. so many people jump in with a "colonizer" mentality and it can be very counterproductive.

+1. Listen. Turn your listening way, way up. The information is available if you are able to hear it. But you have to be a discreet and perceptive observer to notice where help is needed without diminishing anyone's dignity. Don't ask too many questions about where the donations end up. The school staff is used to high-needs kids and they have their own ways figured out.

Just ask your classroom teacher if there's anything she needs. Offer to bring in extra granola bars for snack, knowing full well that it may end up in someone's backpack because that's their breakfast, lunch, and dinner on the weekend. When it's your child's birthday, find out if anyone else has a birthday around that time, and don't get your child's name on the cake so that you can pretend it's for both kids if needed. If you listen, observe, and reflect, you will see the needs as they appear.

Another thing you can do is be a vocal advocate for the upper grades at your school. PTOs in gentrifying schools tend to have a lot of preschool parents and they lack familiarity with upper elementary issues generally. Make sure that PTO funding is equitably distributed across the grades, and that the PTO is solicitous of those teachers, parents, and kids priorities. It may take a few years to really build this out but you can do it.

This is such great advice, thank you. I agree it is important to be quiet and not ask questions. Better if parents don’t know who’s the ones doing the giving OR receiving. It’s simply better for everyone if the kids have what they need to achieve their potential at school. Happy classmates make for happy friends for everyone’s kids and a better school experience all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please be careful about sticking your nose where it doesn't belong. My DD HATED the process of getting new shoes.so I just let her wear raggedy ones until they'd fallen apart enough that she admitted she needed new ones. I chose not to have that battle.

And personally, I grew up in an upper middle class environment, but was forced to wear a LOT of my older brother's hand-me-downs. They probably looked "worn." And they were, but it didn't mean they didn't cover my body.

+1

OP may bring hand-me-down clothes to the next open house.