Would you leave kids with grandparents they don’t know well?

[Anonymous]

This is such a personal decision based on your comfort level and your own kids temperaments. I also have a young toddler
and in my circumstance, I would not leave her overnight. She would probably be scared and confused which would ruin the trip for me. But I do know other friends toddlers would be just fine. It really depends. If you feel hesitant about it, maybe just listen to your instincts. You can always just go for one night someplace local to test drive the situation

[Anonymous]

Absolutely I would go! Wonderful gift from your in laws.

[Anonymous]

No way

[Anonymous]

Yes, but I trust my parents completely.

[Anonymous]

Are your in-laws in charge of and reliable around other young children? Mine leave prescription meds around and are clueless about choking hazards. They can't work a car seat on their own. For those reasons and other safety hazards I can easily imagine, looking at you hot coffee on edges of tables, it would be a hard no for me. If it is only the kids general unfamiliarity with the grandparents I would accept the offer.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t leave my 2 yo with my 70 yo in-laws. My kid is a handful and I don’t trust them to watch him for a few days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course. This is an opportunity for your kids to start bonding a bit with your husband's family.

Maybe your kids were glued to your side because you sent off vibes that YOU weren't comfortable with your DH's parents.

It's only for a long weekend, anyway. Stop obsessing and just go!

BTW, even if your kids are unhappy for the first hour they will adjust. I am sure in no time at all the grandparents will be entertaining them and acting silly and the kids will have a blast. Maybe the gparents haven't been comfortable around kids if you are hovering around.

Uhh no. I would not leave my 1.5 yo with a stranger. The grandparents are essentially strangers to the 1.5yo.

I remember both sets of grandparents feeling hurt when my daughter turned 1. She wouldn’t even go to them to be held, let alone left for several days. The entire time she was 1-2, she was very attached to me and Dh. Now that she started preschool, she is more independent. She is almost 3 and I would probably leave her now.

I turned 40 when DS was also 1.5. We couldn’t leave the toddler so DH let me go away with my best friend.

Many people we know don’t go away alone as a couple. Some people rarely even do date nights. This is with very young children. I have some mom friends who can’t even do a moms dinner.

This is one of the saddest things I've read on DCUM. How in the world did our culture get to a place where grandparents were so excluded and ostracized? I can't imagine how terribly hurt and heartbroken these grandparents are when they can't even hold their granddaughter. That is something they will take to the grave with them. Has everyone forgotten that these strangers were the ones who raised your spouse??

They’re adults who Should be able to understand that a very young child who doesn’t know them views them as a stranger. Adults don’t view their parents are strangers, but when grandparents don’t try to have a bond and prioritize a bond with young children, they are effectively strangers.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the others that say you should go and they will bond better/more quickly without your presence to cling to.

[Anonymous]

How safety conscious are they? Can they run after a 1.5 year old who runs into the street? Can they properly lift and buckle the child into. Car seat? Are they physically able to handle the grueling demands of young kids for 14 hours a day?

[Anonymous]

If I felt like they were physically up to caring for young kids, I’d go. How long? Two nights? I think the benefits to your marriage and the grandparent-grandchild bond are potentially big. I’d also get a trusted person/sitter to come in part of the time to help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are your in-laws in charge of and reliable around other young children? Mine leave prescription meds around and are clueless about choking hazards. They can't work a car seat on their own. For those reasons and other safety hazards I can easily imagine, looking at you hot coffee on edges of tables, it would be a hard no for me. If it is only the kids general unfamiliarity with the grandparents I would accept the offer.

This. I would only do it if these in-laws semi-regularly care for toddlers for extended periods of time, like other grandchildren.

[Anonymous]

Yes, a great bonding experience for them.

[Anonymous]

Please go! We are talking about a long weekend. Plus, your IL are coming to you, so your kids will be in a familiar environment. Seems like a win-win for everyone.
You and your husband will get a long weekend together. Your IL will get to spend some time with your kids. And your kids will get to bond with their grandparents.

[Anonymous]

You have to go! I am in same situation with ILs that don't know kids well. I hate leaving my kids with my ILs but I just do. Its only for a weekend and they only have to keep them alive. Just be prepared to let a lot go and you will have an adjustment period when you get home.

[Anonymous]

The good thing is your kids would be in their own house, have their toys, familiar environment, etc.

Can you schedule something fun or special for that weekend - the childrens museum (winchester, Baltimore, richmond) for example? Open play at a bounce house. Call on a favor and have your 4 yr old go to a friend's house for a playdate for a few hours (even schedule it during 1.5yr old's nap time to give everyone a quiet break)?

Something like that (just examples). It breaks up the long weekend and also keeps grandparents from being overwhelmed and burn out (which can happen quicker than you think).

Things will go easier if the kids tucker out so leave directions for things like the nature center, a few playgrounds the kids haven't bern to, a drop-in class at the rec ctr, or whatever.

Leave gift cards for the pizza place or whatever take out. Makes life easier for everyone.