First choice letters

[Anonymous]

We did not write a letter. My kid got in. His essay did make it clear that the school was his top choice.

[Anonymous]

My sense is that it is more important at the high school level. Private school families don't need to write a letter because their K-8 should be able to convey the preference. Our K-8 sat down with all the admissions directors and told them explicitly and pitched hard for those students. A public school is unlikely to be a strong advocate for your child leaving, so you need to be clear to the school about your preference one way or another - student interview, parent interview, student essay.

[Anonymous]

Still important at k8 because your school needs to make sure everyone is placed and they may push for you to be a school B when you wanted school A. Sending a first choice letter keeps the process honest because they can’t tell your favorite that they are not really your favorite if that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either a letter or a personal conversation with Admissions.

The school is curious about where else you are applying.

And they really want to accept those who are highly likely to attend. The want to fill the class without going to the wait list which is a administrative mini-nightmare.

But your statement has to be supported by some logic as to why this is your DCs first choice and that you guarantee he will attend if accepted.

At the end of the day, it isn't going to hurt your child's chances by telling the school it is your first choice. However, only do that if it is a true first choice. DO NOT ask current families to write a note on your behalf unless it is your true first choice. I'm still annoyed that we had "friends" ask us to do this because they were definite that they wanted our child's school for their daughters. They got into two schools and apparently played the first choice card at both schools. I don't think I could ever write another letter on someone's behalf.

Isn’t there a difference between having a family write a letter and a family saying the school is someone’s first choice? I know many who had letters written for their top choices, but they were careful not to have anyone say they would definitely go or that a school was someone’s first choice, since they were having a couple of letters written. I assume you got asked to write a first-choice letter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either a letter or a personal conversation with Admissions.

The school is curious about where else you are applying.

And they really want to accept those who are highly likely to attend. The want to fill the class without going to the wait list which is a administrative mini-nightmare.

But your statement has to be supported by some logic as to why this is your DCs first choice and that you guarantee he will attend if accepted.

At the end of the day, it isn't going to hurt your child's chances by telling the school it is your first choice. However, only do that if it is a true first choice. DO NOT ask current families to write a note on your behalf unless it is your true first choice. I'm still annoyed that we had "friends" ask us to do this because they were definite that they wanted our child's school for their daughters. They got into two schools and apparently played the first choice card at both schools. I don't think I could ever write another letter on someone's behalf.

Isn’t there a difference between having a family write a letter and a family saying the school is someone’s first choice? I know many who had letters written for their top choices, but they were careful not to have anyone say they would definitely go or that a school was someone’s first choice, since they were having a couple of letters written. I assume you got asked to write a first-choice letter?

Yes I was. The mother wrote me a long email about why the school was her first choice. She asked me to write a letter to admissions on her behalf. My family has done a lot of volunteering, and helped at admissions open house and follow up calls to accepted students. It was embarrassing to me that I also conveyed that it was their first choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either a letter or a personal conversation with Admissions.

The school is curious about where else you are applying.

And they really want to accept those who are highly likely to attend. The want to fill the class without going to the wait list which is a administrative mini-nightmare.

But your statement has to be supported by some logic as to why this is your DCs first choice and that you guarantee he will attend if accepted.

At the end of the day, it isn't going to hurt your child's chances by telling the school it is your first choice. However, only do that if it is a true first choice. DO NOT ask current families to write a note on your behalf unless it is your true first choice. I'm still annoyed that we had "friends" ask us to do this because they were definite that they wanted our child's school for their daughters. They got into two schools and apparently played the first choice card at both schools. I don't think I could ever write another letter on someone's behalf.

Isn’t there a difference between having a family write a letter and a family saying the school is someone’s first choice? I know many who had letters written for their top choices, but they were careful not to have anyone say they would definitely go or that a school was someone’s first choice, since they were having a couple of letters written. I assume you got asked to write a first-choice letter?

Yes I was. The mother wrote me a long email about why the school was her first choice. She asked me to write a letter to admissions on her behalf. My family has done a lot of volunteering, and helped at admissions open house and follow up calls to accepted students. It was embarrassing to me that I also conveyed that it was their first choice.

Yes that is bad form. You cannot throw first choice around, and when people do this, it is embarrassing for anyone they asked to write, and it means the family who wrote the letter loses credibility in the future. Sorry that happened to you pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems cheesy and like a last ditch effort to me.

This could have (and should have) been addressed in the student's personal essay as part of their application. To get to the final weeks, right before decisions are made, and to come in begging seems a little cheap to me. Why don't you send a gift too?

+1

Maybe I am in the minority, but I think the kid's record and application should stand on its own. We have also stayed out of our kid's education path. They advocate for themselves. They do their own work. They write their own essays. By the time a kid is applying to HS, let them handle their application.

My kid is the one that approached his teachers for recommendations. He handed in the transcript request form, etc.

+100000. Awesome!

Frankly, I would be suspicious of any parent that was always bugging admissions and sending letters, etc. My 'future major pain-in-the-ass' meter would be blowing up.

If my kid is going to get rejected, he will get rejected on his own.

And I meant to add...if he gets in, it will because of his merit and hard work. The sooner you start teaching your kids this, the better they will do in life.

[Anonymous]

Oh please stop it already. Sending a first choice letter is a good thing and ya da ya da ya da on your
kid’s merit. Do you not think every kid doesn’t have merit. First choice is affirming what it is and a good data point. You are not bothering anyone because it just goes into the file. Letter of support is also good if it is a family who really knows your child. I really feel for parents who are applying their kids because it is hard to get in some of these schools. There are a lot of smart and accomplished kids in the DMV. Figuring out a way to stand out positively is a good life skill. I would talk this through with your child to see if he or she wants to
affirm a first choice. If you do not have a clear first choice then do not submit one. You can still get into schools without one but it is something to consider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Either a letter or a personal conversation with Admissions.

The school is curious about where else you are applying.

And they really want to accept those who are highly likely to attend. The want to fill the class without going to the wait list which is a administrative mini-nightmare.

But your statement has to be supported by some logic as to why this is your DCs first choice and that you guarantee he will attend if accepted.

At the end of the day, it isn't going to hurt your child's chances by telling the school it is your first choice. However, only do that if it is a true first choice. DO NOT ask current families to write a note on your behalf unless it is your true first choice. I'm still annoyed that we had "friends" ask us to do this because they were definite that they wanted our child's school for their daughters. They got into two schools and apparently played the first choice card at both schools. I don't think I could ever write another letter on someone's behalf.

This is awful.

[Anonymous]

If your child has a first choice and will definitely attend the school if accepted there is no harm in writing the letter and it very well may help. Yield is important, as is having engaged members of the community-kids and parents. They want people who want to be there.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, we decided to not send in such a letter, although we have a 85%-certain choice. We did not want to be in a position of not honoring a commitment, regardless of whether it's binding, and if that's to our DC's disadvantage, so be it. Plus, who knows whether a decision looks differently when actually faced with real choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, we decided to not send in such a letter, although we have a 85%-certain choice. We did not want to be in a position of not honoring a commitment, regardless of whether it's binding, and if that's to our DC's disadvantage, so be it. Plus, who knows whether a decision looks differently when actually faced with real choices.

I think this is ultimately why we are not sending a first choice letter. Real choice has a funny way of looking different than when working solely with hypotheticals. I really don't want to feel obligated to send my kid somewhere just because I sent a stupid letter that may have had no effect at all on my kid's admission.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, we decided to not send in such a letter, although we have a 85%-certain choice. We did not want to be in a position of not honoring a commitment, regardless of whether it's binding, and if that's to our DC's disadvantage, so be it. Plus, who knows whether a decision looks differently when actually faced with real choices.

This is exactly right. You may be even more certain than that, and then between the time you applied and the time your child gets in, things change, the child changes, whatever. Unless you are beyond certain that, no matter what, it's your first choice, I think it's unwise to say that. I also don't think it helps very much to say it's your first choice at this stage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FWIW, we decided to not send in such a letter, although we have a 85%-certain choice. We did not want to be in a position of not honoring a commitment, regardless of whether it's binding, and if that's to our DC's disadvantage, so be it. Plus, who knows whether a decision looks differently when actually faced with real choices.

This is exactly right. You may be even more certain than that, and then between the time you applied and the time your child gets in, things change, the child changes, whatever. Unless you are beyond certain that, no matter what, it's your first choice, I think it's unwise to say that. I also don't think it helps very much to say it's your first choice at this stage.

I agree. With only 1 month to go---is it low test score results that are all the sudden making one freak out and try a last ditch effort? What changed from deadlines in early December to now to all the sudden have an epiphany that a school is a first choice. Most shadows were done long ago.

[Anonymous]

Our k-8 said it depended on the school whether a first choice letter would make a difference. They know the schools well and they said for some it won't matter, but for others it might. That said, the k-8 knew our child's preferences and communicated that our child was very interested (to help the admissions regarding yield). DC did not have a first choice but had one group over another. In the end, it did not hurt to not choose a "top choice" among the top group.