Smoking and Pregnancy

[Anonymous]

This is the OP- I would like to thank all of you who have offered both human and helpful responses. I am truly thankful.

Despite the brevity of my initial post, I have been consumed with guilt and worry over this. I understand and respect the other responses, yet feel as others do that the tone and sentiment express judgement and even hate, not help. One can't argue with the facts shared, but the the interpretation of those facts and the statement "she will make a horrible mother" offers nothing really.

[Anonymous]

Well, thank heavens SHE'S gone!!

OP, I assume you wanted this pregnancy. So I assume you have some idea of how wonderful it's going to be to hold that fuzzy little newborn, to marvel over her teeny little knuckles and perfect little ears. So when you want a smoke, just think about that day at the end of summer when you'll finally meet her.

If you meditate, here's a twist that will help: instead of going to a grassy field, or the center of a cloud, or whatever your "happy place" is, go to your womb. It's almost silent there, except for the distant rhythmic beat of your heart. It's warm, and perfect. There is no need unfulfilled, which means no cravings.

The PP who mentioned the tea ritual had a good idea too. But whatever your coping method, just make sure you center it on the baby. We sacrifice so much for our babies that I think you'll find this is a relatively minor thing to give up, in the right frame of mind.

Let us know how it goes!

[Anonymous]

I was also a smoker when I conceived my first child. I smoked for the first week and then stopped cold turkey. I quit when I was four or five weeks pregnant. My husband was also a smoker and we weren't trying to have a child. I didn't smoke through the entire pregnancy and my husband swore up and down that he would quit once the baby was born. A few children later, he's still smoking. My husband makes it up to a month and then lights up again. He also has several buddies at work that share this icky habit so it's also a social thing. I knew I couldn't smoke just for the health of my baby because I thought it was my responsibility to give my child the best, healthiest chance at life-and that didn't include a smoking mama. I also had a friend at the time that smoked right up until her child was born despite everyone in her life telling her how harmful it was. She delivered a 7 lb baby girl. I didn't see her baby again until she was a year old and she only weighed 15 pounds. Her daughter had had numerous colds and a pneumonia in her first year. And though she was born at a healthy weight, she wasn't properly gaining weight as she got older. Could this be directly linked to smoke inhalation? Well, the way I see it, think of how much healthier she could've been if the mom didn't smoke at all. Maybe things would've turned out differently, maybe not. Some kids get sick more than others.

Please get some help and be honest with your doctor. You're not the first woman to battle smoking and you won't be the last. I've heard there are support groups for people trying to quit too and there's a good possibility they exist around here. In another month you'll be halfway through your pregnancy so time is going to go by faster and faster. It's a great time to be smoke free for the next half of your pregnancy. Your baby will thank you! It's not easy, but you can do it.

[Anonymous]

I guess I don't understand why you would attempt to get pregnant prior to quitting? You need professional help to quit ASAP, it can be costly but is so worth it. This isn't like eating sushi or something. You will get it done, just believe in your ability to do whatever is in your power for the good of your child, it is something that you'll need to remember for many years to come. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I quit smoking cold turkey the day I found out I was pregnant, which was not a planned pregnany, but the health of my baby was more important that a cigarette. If you care enough about your baby, you can quit. Find something else that is healthy to do intead when you feel the need to have a cigarette.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm someone who had the same struggle. So here's to being evil, eh?

Histrionic judgmental guilt trips aside, please do understand that the smoking will change your placenta to make it less efficient. When my OB told me that, I put the "pack of 20 friends" down, and I know that you can too.

I changed my way of thinking about/responding to each craving. When I smoked, I did so because I answered my brain's craving for a cig with a cig. But (duh!) I realized that if I didn't smoke in response to a craving it would, eventually, subside. It doesn't just keep getting worse until it kills you. As a smoker, one never gets to experience this b/c you answer the craving immediately, rather than riding it out. I also found that substituting physical activity or putting myself in a place where I just couldn't smoke helped to get through each craving. Yoga was a godsend in this respect. Examine your triggers for those 7 or 8 smokes you have per day, and try to come up with a way of eliminating the trigger or coping with the craving until it goes away.

And, if you quit now, you won't have to deal with quitting once the baby's here, or feeling torn between wanting to step outside and being with the baby, the hassle of showering and changing your clothes before you hold the baby after you've had a smoke, etc. etc. If you choose to BF, you won't run the risk of having your milk supply decreased as a result of smoking, and all of the frustrations that BF difficulties can bring. New parenthood is hard enough, you don't need the additional logistical/emotional hassles.

And yes, I do still miss it sometimes, but watching DD grow up healthy makes up for it a million-fold. (I'd tell you today's cute story, but don't want to hijack your post -- suffice it to say that it's a laugh a minute at our house these days.)

Just defeat it, one craving at a time. The more you defeat, the fewer you have. The fewer you have, the less you smoke, until one day the "20 friends" don't have your number any more.

Best of luck to you, I'm rooting for you!

[Anonymous]

Wow - people can be really ugly sometimes. Ugh.

Anyway, I was a smoker for 17 years before I found out I was pregnant. As to why you wouldn't quit before getting pregnant, not all pregnancies are planned. Anyway, quitting smoking SUCKS. It is hard. But, you can do it. Whatever, I'm sure someone will jump all over me for this, but here's what worked for me.

I quit cold turkey the day that I found out I was pregnant. It was probably a bit easier for me to do than for some cause I wasn't a heavy smoker & I'd been slowly trying to kind of wean myself off cigarettes anyway. What kept me going was the idea of a special occasion about a month and a half in the future where I would take a few drags off of a cigarette. And that's what I did. I quit completely for a month and a half, looking forward to that day, and at my friend's wedding I took a few drags. I had a few drags here & there afer that - like maybe a couple drags every few weeks. The day my dog died, I smoked about half a cigarette. Since then, I haven't had anything in a couple of months.

[Anonymous]

Guess what everyone...I bet she is still reading

AND..I really like the idea of choosing a time in the future to have one....many people work well with the "end in sight" as opposed to "I will never again be able to...."
best of luck!

[Anonymous]

hi,
I am sure that is not easy to quit but try your best to do it. After all the best gift you can give your child is health!!!I have a cousin who smoked while she was pregnant and her son has astma now. Always coughing,problems breatching, etc....terrible thing to look at...Please, please try your best to quit!!!!

[Anonymous]

I was in your shoes and would smoke 1/2 a cigarette before the guilt completely consumed me and I tossed it. After a few weeks of doing this, i realized that the taste got worse and worse and I felt not only emotionally bad, but physically bad as well. I would still allow myself 1/2 a cigarette a day and knowing this, I would try and go for as long as possible before having it. many days, I just didn't have that 1/2. The days i did, byt the time I was done, I felt worse. This helped me tremendously since I wasn't getting the same pleasure from smokng as I did before. I still had cravings, but it was more the habit than the desire for nicotine (bad traffic, boredom, eating a big meal, etc.).

A few other things that helped....eating popsicles (I would have a box of them every couple days!), light exercise, trying to not put myslef in situations that I would normally light up, and just letting the guilt take over. Just do it, do it do it! Tell yourself it is only for a few months (although it is very likely that you won't want to go back to smoking). Think about the tobacco companies that are getting rich, the illnesses you can get and not be able to watch your baby grow. Think about how your life will change if your baby is born with an illness caused by your smoking. The guilt you will feel because you couldn't stop a dumb habit. (this tactic really helped me!) Think of every negative thing that can happen. it is depressing, but it really helped me and I had a healthy baby girl who is now 1 years old. And the best part about it....I haven't had another cigarette and very rarely have a craving that I can't manage!

[Anonymous]

I am not condoning it - at all - but, my mother smoked with all three of us -- and my sister-in-law puffed a few with her three kids. We were ok - but, like I said - I am not condoning it.........

[Anonymous]

03/10/2008 20:53 poster here.

Also, in those first few weeks, gum helped as did taking a walk around the block instead of a cigarette break. My Dad used to chew cinnamon sticks when he was quitting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thank God PP is perfect

no, far from perfect. But I would never ever cause harm to my child born or unborn. It is selfish, wrong and I wish it were illegal. There is no excuse. She could quit if she wanted to . She doesn't want to. It is more important to her than the health of her unborn baby. So, don't get pissed off at me because the truth hurts. 9 months from now we may be hearing how bad she feels because her baby is sick or dead. Pregnancy is not a recital, there really is a LIFE in her body that she choose to carry. She is responsible for this child. If it were already born and she was blowing smoke in the face of her baby you would not be defending her. What the hell is the difference? I find it sick any one is defending this person. She is poisioning her baby.

Although your post makes valid points, your tone is very condescending and not helpful. I'd hate to have to deal with someone like you on a daily basis. Your words are as toxic as a cigarette - ever think of that? The fact that OP is reaching out to seek encouragement on how to kick this habit is a BIG step. Don't judge people unless you have walked in their shoes.

[Anonymous]

I don't really have any advice, but just wanted to chime in as an adult child of 2 smoking parents. I was particularly offended by the "horrible mother" comment, since my mom is my best friend in the world and I couldn't have asked for a better mother. I wish she and my dad would quit for their own health - it breaks my heart to think of them cheating themselves (and me and my kids) out of extra years with them later on.

Bottom line: there are lots of reasons OP should quit smoking (all of which she knows already) but it has nothing to do with the kind of mother she will be. Good luck OP, and enjoy your pregnancy and your wonderful new baby!

[Anonymous]

OP here-

It was a wise decision after all to post here, and I have been encouraged and supported by many of the comments. I haven't touched a cigarette since I posted, now two days ago. Ironically I am angry at myself for different reasons now. . .it hasn't been the struggle I anticipated, which means actions on my part should have happened 16 weeks ago.

But, my gut tells me that the process of letting it go had to do with a public confession, and reading your comments. . .even from the hateful, mean-spirited, judgemental PP. If she is reading this, she probably feels justified and validated by the fact that her comments affected me.

That said, I appreciated the poster who equated the toxicity of her comments to that of a cigarrette. It should remind her that we can potentially poison our children with MANY things, words and attitudes included.

Enough out of me. Thanks folks. I will keep on keepin on.