Shopping for STBXH

[Anonymous]

If he is truly a SBXH, dont get him a damn thing.

Have the kids make him a card and leave it at that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he is truly a SBXH, dont get him a damn thing.

Have the kids make him a card and leave it at that.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the area and remember going to the secret shop at Woodies (I think) back in the 80s. Is there still anything similar around? I’d love to give my 8 and 10 year old some money and tell them to shop for their dad. Any ideas of where kids can shop for adults? I want to be as hands off as possible.

What is secret shop at Woodies, emphasis on secret?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he is truly a SBXH, dont get him a damn thing.

Have the kids make him a card and leave it at that.

+1.

Yeah. My divorce is going on two years now. My drunk ex gave my kids a list of things like lululemon work out clothes and an air fryer (he’s 45 and made a list for the children to buy HIM) he doesn’t work out much as his beer gut shows- and despite making $600k can’t pay child support or the kids medical bills.......and my kids are under 12. Needless to say I won’t be buying him anything - kids can make a card!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Geez do the decent, adult thing and get him a gift "from the kids". Or get him nothing. Don't do this passive aggressive "give the kids money knowing they'll buy something that sucks and he won't like" nonsense.

8 and 10 is old enough to pick something out.

I remember being that old. Their choice will be lame. OP knows this. She is being petty.

It’s not lame when its something your kids picked out or made for you. It’s not about the quality of the gift, its about the fact that it comes from your kids.

[Anonymous]

I would ask the kids to help think of ideas and do something they can participate in, such as a mug they paint, a throw blanket with their picture on it, an activity to do together.

[Anonymous]

get him some toiletries and a jar of tomato sauce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get him a manscaping kit. Now that he’s going to be hitting the single scene... the 20 somethings he’ll likely be sleeping with are going to appreciate that.

As someone who recently crossed over to 30s

1) no 20 somethings don’t want divorcees with kids
2) no 20 somethings don’t want rug burn on their faces from DIY manscaping

[Anonymous]

My brother always brings his kids Christmas shopping for his ex and makes sure they purchase things she likes.

This isn’t about the ex, it is about being an example to your kids and helping them navigate this change.

A little goodwill goes a long way.

Op, go shopping with your kids and guide them into choosing gifts your ex will like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I grew up in the area and remember going to the secret shop at Woodies (I think) back in the 80s. Is there still anything similar around? I’d love to give my 8 and 10 year old some money and tell them to shop for their dad. Any ideas of where kids can shop for adults? I want to be as hands off as possible.

What is secret shop at Woodies, emphasis on secret?

Not OP, but we had something similar where I grew up (at Wanamakers maybe?). It was a little store within the main dept. store. The kids would go in with a helper and browse from a selection of relatively inexpensive gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this is really nice of you. My brother is divorced with one child and lives across the country, and every Christmas I am so sad that he has nothing to open under the tree. His ex has never had their daughter buy him a present.

You could talk to your niece about what she wants to get for her dad, order it, and send it to him.

Seriously ??? It is NOT your ex sister in law’s responsibility to buy her ex husband a gift! Give him a gift yourself. And if you think his kid needs adult help picking out a gift for him help the kid yourself. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he is truly a SBXH, dont get him a damn thing.

Have the kids make him a card and leave it at that.

You are a garbage human being.

And you are teaching your kids that you are garbage. Believe me, they're going to notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother always brings his kids Christmas shopping for his ex and makes sure they purchase things she likes.

This isn’t about the ex, it is about being an example to your kids and helping them navigate this change.

A little goodwill goes a long way.

Op, go shopping with your kids and guide them into choosing gifts your ex will like.

Finally a decent, adult response!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think this is really nice of you. My brother is divorced with one child and lives across the country, and every Christmas I am so sad that he has nothing to open under the tree. His ex has never had their daughter buy him a present.

Not surprising since he doesn't care enough to live near his kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get him a manscaping kit. Now that he’s going to be hitting the single scene... the 20 somethings he’ll likely be sleeping with are going to appreciate that.

As someone who recently crossed over to 30s

1) no 20 somethings don’t want divorcees with kids
2) no 20 somethings don’t want rug burn on their faces from DIY manscaping

Right? When I was in my 20s, my friends and I would have RUN from a newly divorced middle aged dude with multiple kids.

If he's rich, he'll attract some 20-something gold diggers... otherwise, nah.