Anyone have a 16 yr old starting college?

[Anonymous]

I was a year ahead but way behind in maturity, thanks to my inattentive ADHD. I would have serious reservations about sending a 16 year old far away, for reasons that have nothing to do with academia, but the potential for abuse and sticky situations she might not recognize until it’s too late. However, certain teens can handle it, and your child might be one of them! You know your child best, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our son will be 17, turning 18 in April his freshman year of college. He’s very smart but not as mature and intrinsically motivated as we’d like him to be. DH and I think a gap year would benefit him immensely but he isn’t on board. He doesn’t want to fall behind his peers. I’d give almost anything to go back and demand differentiation instead of promoting to the next grade when he was ahead of his classmates. We didn’t really see the issues we’re noticing now until high school, when it was too late to do anything within the school system.

We went to college with a guy who started college at 15 or so. Mature isn’t exactly the best word to describe him, but he was very emotionally intelligent and socially aware. He excelled as much because of his social skills as his intelligence.

Sometimes skipping ahead works, sometimes it doesn’t. Good luck.

A 18 yr college freshman is very common. Not similar to what OP is asking.

[Anonymous]

I started college at 16 out of state (May birthday, too) and it was fine. I never noticed any difference in maturity among my peers. The only times I was acutely aware of the age difference was around drinking and, years later, when all my friends were having huge turning 30 celebrations and I was still two years away.

[Anonymous]

My son did. He is gifted and did well. He lives at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because of foreign travel and schooling from tutors when away, DD skipped two grades in elementary and is on track to graduate high school at just 16 (May birthday). She seems equal in maturity now (9th grade) to her peers/friends. She’s bright but not a genius - she works hard in school and martial arts. She’s very involved in activities, too and is a responsible babysitter. She seems to have a good head on her shoulders.

She’s been talking a lot about going to California for college.

Just thinking ahead here and hoping someone has experience in this.


Thanks.

I highly recommend a gap year if she has any interests. Tim Ferris has great ideas on immersion. DD pursued a passion for a year and lived away from home on her own. Was cheaper than college and she matured so much. She was one of the youngest in her class and always acted mature but still benefited tremendously.

[Anonymous]

Unless your child is already very street smart and has had life experiences that enabled them to learn how to handle challenging interpersonal situations, especially sexual and romantic, it is not a good idea. I speak from personal experience. It was only because of amazingly good luck that I didn't end up getting date raped on campus because I was so naive. Too bad if your kid doesn't want to take a gap year. Odds are you're the one paying the tuition and housing bills, so it's your call. That's the benefit of the kid being too young to act on their own. Nobody at all will care about their age in 10 years, so there's nothing to be gained by leaving home before they're ready.

[Anonymous]

I echo everyone who suggests a gap year doing something immersive and at least partly away from home to help in developmental maturity. There are so many gap-year opportunities now that surely something would be exciting to her. And it could revolve around learning skills that would make her even more interesting to employers when she’s interviewing for jobs right after college.

There are lots of situations that arise at college that have nothing to do with academics. The maturity will be important in making good judgement calls in the moment

[Anonymous]

Above PP...but, I would encourage her to go ahead and apply and defer the acceptance of her choice for a year. That way she doesn’t feel angsty about not applying when her classmates are and that worry will be behind her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your D can do a postgrad year at a boarding school? $$ but might be worth as a transition to college.

This seems like a better idea than sending a sixteen year old across the country for college.

This. 16 is very young for college

[Anonymous]

PP here who started college at 16 and was immature. My parents seriously had to kick me out of the house. But honestly, a gap year would have been terrible. Thing about education when you are that far ahead is that you have momentum and energy. It’s hard to regain that if you stop it. Now if that’s what she wants, by all means. But more than offering it as an option doesn’t seem like a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Our next door neighbors two kids both went away to college at 16. Both did fine and went on to law school and graduate school. The kids were very devoted students, too.

You know your daughter, OP. She sounds very driven to me. Just see how things play out - suggest but don’t force. We have a lot of great schools here - she could be a day student for her first year. Don’t worry about it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Above PP...but, I would encourage her to go ahead and apply and defer the acceptance of her choice for a year. That way she doesn’t feel angsty about not applying when her classmates are and that worry will be behind her.

Great advice to keep in mind.

[Anonymous]

My DH started college at 15 but did community college first year. Then he did a gap year but finished his undergrad by 19. He studied engineering and did that for awhile but eventually settled into a career very far removed from that. He's always been a happy extrovert (not show off) so was well liked in whatever he did so if immature his personality ingratiated himself with older peers.

[Anonymous]

It was a long time ago, but my grandfather started college at 16 and always regretted it later. He was very isolated and uncomfortable socially, and said he would never recommend it to a child or grandchild of his own.

[Anonymous]

I started just after turning 17 (July birthday). Did very well and graduated at 20. I had been in that grade cohort for most of my school years so it felt normal to me.