telling reason for separation/divorce?

[Anonymous]

Well my MIL told my 9 YO why she and her ex husband were divorced. No infidelity; she just said she was young when she got married. I didn’t think it was appropriate to discuss with a 9 year old but DH thought it was fine.

[Anonymous]

Age appropriate truth is always correct. The tricky part is that when it comes to divorce, the emotions are often so hot that it's nearly impossible to do this. I'd there is an at fault party, they want everything kept secret, or they may try to justify their behavior. If one person was really hurt, they may try to manipulate the kids in to taking sides. We've all seen it. But the best policy is always, always age appropriate honesty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kids really don't need to hear that one parent cheated on the other. Even if they're 17.

+1000

That's NEVER going to help them in their own adult relationships, except to give them massive trust issues.

I disagree. Especially if it was a low conflict marriage, it can be really disconcerting for a kid to see everything fall apart over no reason. It’s fine to know that a parent made a mistake and there are consequences for bad decisions. Otherwise, kids end up feeling very insecure about every relationship in their life. This is not something to share with little kids, but eventually as they get older they’re going to ask questions. Lying and secrets benefit no one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well my MIL told my 9 YO why she and her ex husband were divorced. No infidelity; she just said she was young when she got married. I didn’t think it was appropriate to discuss with a 9 year old but DH thought it was fine.

You sound REALLY uptight.