How to talk to 4 year old about a school lockdown drill?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're probably that I'm projecting my sadness, anger and anxiety on this issue by thinking I should talk in advance about it but I know that if I just ask him about it after school I'll just get a blank stare or maybe a "yea" if I'm lucky. The lack of communication is whole 'nother issue for another thread

OP you need to use the words your DD's teacher used. Not whatever you read here on DCUM.

You need to keep your sadness, anger and anxiety out of the timing, tone, length and content of your conversation with your DD.

[Anonymous]

I feel people really blow these lock down drills out of proportion.

I just say fires are unlikely but we practice fire drills just in case.

In case something happens and there’s an emergency outside the classroom and you can’t leave, you also practice what happens if you have to stay in the room.

It’s rare that anything will happen but it’s always good to practice to be prospered.

Our parents had air raid / nuclear drills and they don’t seem scarred.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel people really blow these lock down drills out of proportion.

I just say fires are unlikely but we practice fire drills just in case.

In case something happens and there’s an emergency outside the classroom and you can’t leave, you also practice what happens if you have to stay in the room.

It’s rare that anything will happen but it’s always good to practice to be prospered.

Our parents had air raid / nuclear drills and they don’t seem scarred.

My mom talks about “air raid” drills as a terrifying thing that made her think the world was likely going to end in nuclear war at any time.

I think lockdown drills are largely BS. For one thing although any number of school shootings is too many for any country to tolerate, they are statistically unlikely to happen in any given school. And, their value seems tiny if any, while the risks of traumatizing kids by making them think they are likely to be shot in school is high. We can use non-scary language all we want but by age 6 or so kids are going to hear about school shootings and realize that that’s what they are practicing for, and be scared AF. maybe some kids won’t but a lot of them are.

[Anonymous]

In my DDs school the administration sent home info about drill with language they use to talk about drill to students. You should ask for that and be consistent.

My kid was scared about drill, gave her nightmares. They told her they had to hide from a "stranger" - but one of the teachers was pretending to be the stranger and knocked on the door while they hid.

One thing I did tell my kid in addition to school material was that grownups also do these types of drill at work. She was comforted that I did it, too.

For those saying that your kid isn't upset - I am happy for you, truly. But some kids do get scared, so it is normal to want to figure out a way to help kids deal with it!

[Anonymous]

I would ask your child what the teacher says they are for & use that language.
My kindergartener was not scared by them, but then she started asking about what would happen if there was a “person who wasn’t supposed to be there” and a fire at the same time (“What if that person sets the school on fire?”), since lockdown & fire drills have opposite instructions. I just told her to listen to the teachers & their instructions— that they will keep her safe.

[Anonymous]

Somewhere not very far from here there is a mother telling a kid that if you hear gunshots you need to get down. That child is not safe in their own home. Your kid has it pretty good. Don't overthink it.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry that our country has come to this. No advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would ask your child what the teacher says they are for & use that language.
My kindergartener was not scared by them, but then she started asking about what would happen if there was a “person who wasn’t supposed to be there” and a fire at the same time (“What if that person sets the school on fire?”), since lockdown & fire drills have opposite instructions. I just told her to listen to the teachers & their instructions— that they will keep her safe.

Smart kid! I hope she's not intending to engage in a life of crime; she might be good at it!

[Anonymous]

I was going to suggest that you to explain how lockdown drills work and avoid mentioning guns or bad guys. I was going to say that you simply explain that if something unusual happens at school and the principal needs to investigate, he/she needs everyone to stay put and be quiet while he/she figures out what’s going on. Sometimes wild animals accidentally wander into a school and the best way to keep the animal and the students safe is to keep the students in their classrooms, away from the animal, so it doesn’t feel cornered. If a grown up enters the school and forgets to sign in at the office, the principal needs to find out why that person is in the building and who they need to see, but that’s hard to do when the hallways are crowded and noisy.

The only problem is that I just remembered that my 1st grader was taught that if she’s in the girls restroom when a lockdown starts, she is supposed to lock herself in a stall, stand on the toilet so no one can see her feet, and remain silent. I don’t know how you keep that scenario from sounding like something sinister is going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel people really blow these lock down drills out of proportion.

I just say fires are unlikely but we practice fire drills just in case.

In case something happens and there’s an emergency outside the classroom and you can’t leave, you also practice what happens if you have to stay in the room.

It’s rare that anything will happen but it’s always good to practice to be prospered.

Our parents had air raid / nuclear drills and they don’t seem scarred.

My mom talks about “air raid” drills as a terrifying thing that made her think the world was likely going to end in nuclear war at any time.

I think lockdown drills are largely BS. For one thing although any number of school shootings is too many for any country to tolerate, they are statistically unlikely to happen in any given school. And, their value seems tiny if any, while the risks of traumatizing kids by making them think they are likely to be shot in school is high. We can use non-scary language all we want but by age 6 or so kids are going to hear about school shootings and realize that that’s what they are practicing for, and be scared AF. maybe some kids won’t but a lot of them are.

I appreciate the sentiment because I do have anxiety but I tell my kids to focus on what they can control and really what are the bigger risks in their lives. Always wear your seat belt, have working fire alarms, carbon monoxide detectors, get vaccines.

I vote and support gun control but I have to live my life.

[Anonymous]

^^
And teach them to do the same.

[Anonymous]

My kid actually had a lockdown and then evacuation after an armed person entered the building next to daycare. As a parent it was traumatic, as a kid, she followed the directions of the teachers and police and got to ride on a bus. She knows nothing more than there was an emergency.

[Anonymous]

Tell the school you’re opting out of the drills. There is no data supporting them (and some suggesting that they make things worse). Organize a few other parents while you’re at it.

[Anonymous]

My Kindergartener had this drill. The teacher informed us beforehand that there is a predetermined "story" ("a bear comes into school and we must huddle together quietly in the closet so he doesn't hear us") shared with this age group because they feel the children are apt to be frightened by the actual drill. The school asked parents to partner by going along with the teacher's story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My Kindergartener had this drill. The teacher informed us beforehand that there is a predetermined "story" ("a bear comes into school and we must huddle together quietly in the closet so he doesn't hear us") shared with this age group because they feel the children are apt to be frightened by the actual drill. The school asked parents to partner by going along with the teacher's story.

Yes. I think in our preschool they are hiding from a wolf in school. It’s not extreme and made into a game.