Do you think people who have money are bad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am wealthy. But I think that wealth carries risks.

Some wealthy people start to measure their own worth, or the worth of others, by how much they have or how they came by it. They start to believe that luxuries are necessities. They become slaves to their houses and cars and clubs and schools. These people can be undone by their own success because they are chasing a false dream. In the process, they let materialism and greed change their character until they are valueless. And some of them lose it all when fortunes change. It is so hard to believe that people with many millions of dollars can end up ruined. But it happens.


I read a post on this site that really got me thinking. OP asked a question along these lines: 'how do I tell my children they can't have something when they know we can afford it'? I realized, as I scanned through the posts, that most people had no way to answer the question. They had no value system that give them reasons for limiting what they bought aside from what they could pay for. Their only moral guide was economics. Older generations knew that there is virtue in thrift and that excess could do real harm.

There is another way to look at wealth. Wealth can provide freedom and opportunity. Plenty of people look at it that way. Money gives them the chance to spend time with family, do interesting things either in their jobs or outside of them, and to do good things for others. They can still enjoy simple things. Possessions are not their drug of choice.

So I guess I don't hate wealth but I am deeply suspicious of materialism.

I COMPLETELY agree with this. We are affluent, but not into materialism. There is a great book on raising kids when you have money called "Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age" While we are wealthy, we read a lot about how to raise children not focused on the material, who are intelectually curious, work hard and are kind. Now, I admit I like a nice vacation and do indulge in that front.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I just wonder sometimes, how much money does a person really need? Do people with a ton of money even stop to think about the degree to which they indulge themselves, when there are so many others who are so needy?

I think this too. Does anyone really need to spend 6K/month on incidentals like one of the posters in the previous thread does? I spend most of my life feeling like I spend constantly and rarely reign in my purchases and I'm lucky if I ever reach half of that including groceries, entertainment, gifts, gas, and every other last thing our family consumes to survive on this planet. I honestly wonder what the heck I would purchase with that kind of money and that is how it gets easy to criticize those who do. Basically, at one third of that income I feel 100% fulfilled and I wonder what we would do with more except buy more stuff and better stuff which I know wouldn't make me any happier than I am today. Really.

Also, there is always a fair amount of "I make $500K/year and live in an old house, drive old cars, live paycheck to paycheck" talk on this board. Sentiments like this tend to creep into every thread about money and are really hard to take. Listen, you make more money than 95.5% of people in this country which happens to be among the wealthiest places on the planet (if not the per capita wealthiest). Please do not complain. Having little left at the end of the month once you save $20k/month (distributed into college, retirement, short-term, long-term, intermediate term and immediate term savings accounts) is not living paycheck to paycheck. Sending 2 kids to private school to the tune of 70K/year is not living paycheck to paycheck.

As the poster that noted 6K of incidentals, please be clear we don't spend this. This is just what is left over in the budget. I can't imagine how I would spend 6K on incidentals either. It goes into the general float. At the end of the year we tally that up and figure out our giving/further savings, etc. So the reality is probably 1K a month on incidentals (vacation fund, lessons for the kids, clothes, items for the house, etc.) And just because I get annoyed with the sanctity that sometimes follows those with less towards those with more, we are very happy, kind, ethical people. I grew up poor and there is no special spiritual attribute that comes with that. In fact, the stress lead to some serious issues in my family that I am happy not to be repeating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think people who have money are bad. I think that those who spend foolishly are stupid.

Completely agree. I can't stand people that think they are better - or even wealthier! - than other people just because they spend their money in visible ways. Even assuming it matters who is wealthy and who is not, in order to be wealthy you have to HAVE money, not just spend it.

[Anonymous]

Ppl on this board are incredibly nasty to anyone who has done well in life. We are approaching 40, married 13 years....I was making prob. 20k when I met my husband who was making around 40k and walking miles to the bus so he could pay off massive student loans (which he did in a few short years--by not using credit, saving and working hard).

Flash forward to now---he billed $455k last year. I work at home--made $140k. He is stressed and works like mad---sometimes 13-15 hour days. We are still incredibly frugal. Our kids think we were broke. We have accrued 2 homes. One smaller one in a prime NW neighborhood and one nice large one in an urban neighborhood 1 mile outside of the city. I drive a 10year old japanese car; he takes public transportation.

We are self-made. We are generous to a fault and don't flaunt it. My husband grew up fairly poor (single mom with 2 jobs--his best friend giving him clothes). I grew up solidly middle class in this area with a big family.

I don't get the hostility. Is it jealousy? Alot of the same ppl don't want to put the effort in up front and are flashy as hell and living in credit card debt.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ppl on this board are incredibly nasty to anyone who has done well in life. We are approaching 40, married 13 years....I was making prob. 20k when I met my husband who was making around 40k and walking miles to the bus so he could pay off massive student loans (which he did in a few short years--by not using credit, saving and working hard).

Flash forward to now---he billed $455k last year. I work at home--made $140k. He is stressed and works like mad---sometimes 13-15 hour days. We are still incredibly frugal. Our kids think we were broke. We have accrued 2 homes. One smaller one in a prime NW neighborhood and one nice large one in an urban neighborhood 1 mile outside of the city. I drive a 10year old japanese car; he takes public transportation.

We are self-made. We are generous to a fault and don't flaunt it. My husband grew up fairly poor (single mom with 2 jobs--his best friend giving him clothes). I grew up solidly middle class in this area with a big family.

I don't get the hostility. Is it jealousy? Alot of the same ppl don't want to put the effort in up front and are flashy as hell and living in credit card debt.

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

this was intentional sarcasm, btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am wealthy. But I think that wealth carries risks.

Some wealthy people start to measure their own worth, or the worth of others, by how much they have or how they came by it. They start to believe that luxuries are necessities. They become slaves to their houses and cars and clubs and schools. These people can be undone by their own success because they are chasing a false dream. In the process, they let materialism and greed change their character until they are valueless. And some of them lose it all when fortunes change. It is so hard to believe that people with many millions of dollars can end up ruined. But it happens.


I read a post on this site that really got me thinking. OP asked a question along these lines: 'how do I tell my children they can't have something when they know we can afford it'? I realized, as I scanned through the posts, that most people had no way to answer the question. They had no value system that give them reasons for limiting what they bought aside from what they could pay for. Their only moral guide was economics. Older generations knew that there is virtue in thrift and that excess could do real harm.

There is another way to look at wealth. Wealth can provide freedom and opportunity. Plenty of people look at it that way. Money gives them the chance to spend time with family, do interesting things either in their jobs or outside of them, and to do good things for others. They can still enjoy simple things. Possessions are not their drug of choice.

So I guess I don't hate wealth but I am deeply suspicious of materialism.

I COMPLETELY agree with this. We are affluent, but not into materialism. There is a great book on raising kids when you have money called "Too Much of a Good Thing: Raising Children of Character in an Indulgent Age" While we are wealthy, we read a lot about how to raise children not focused on the material, who are intelectually curious, work hard and are kind. Now, I admit I like a nice vacation and do indulge in that front.

Yep, that's us. I'm the $50k/mo HHI from the previous board. We indulge in vacations. And we are not rearing materialistic children. My DS asked Santa for exactly 2 things this year--both things he's been asking for for months, which he know perfectly well we can "afford". He also has far fewer "things" than some of his friends, many of whom have parents who earn less. Sometimes having many possessions has little to do with your ability to purchase them. As I mentioned on the other board, we're driving 8 yr old Volvos. Not into "stuff" necessarily. Don't want our kids too focused on stuff. But they do go to good schools, we do spend on plays/theater/some sporting events. And of course, the vacations....one of which we hope to leave on this evening if Dulles' runways get cleared!

[Anonymous]

That really depends on which country you are in, how much money we are talking about, and how they got that money - with the latter part usually being key.

So, if you take someone who built a corporation that has good repurtation, and that probably involved a lot of hard work, and take another person who between day and night suddenly became rich and no one knows what business that person is really in (except rumours here and there of shady doings here and there), you could tell the latter would not be described as necessarily good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: We are generous to a fault and don't flaunt it.

Y.A.R.

[Anonymous]

"Don't hate the player, hate the game."

Exactly! Someone who gets it!

Working hard - WHAT a concept!

[Anonymous]

I don;t think I've seen people on here that HATE wealthy people. I think the arguments happen when the people making 200K and 300K are claiming middle class and some are wondering about financial aid and so forth. It's offensive to the people that are middle class and then everyone gets all pissy. But hating people simply because they have a high HHI? That's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

You'd be surprised at the haters (if you don't have it in you)! Unfortunately, more have "it" in them than not!

[Anonymous]

I like having money. Being broke sucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like having money. Being broke sucks.

. Been on both sides and I totally agree with you.

[Anonymous]

I don't really understand the point of this question. Is to to evoke sympathy for rich people? I don't think they need it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

"Don't hate the player, hate the game."

Exactly! Someone who gets it!

Working hard - WHAT a concept!

Working hard doesn't equal having a lot of money. I know plenty of people who work their asses off for not much.