RAD kids grown up -- a question for therapists or those with direct experience

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP. RAD is something that is formed/learned because of neglect or abuse at a very, very, very young age. (Take note all you "cry it out" parents....) It makes the baby unable to form a close attachment with a caregiver, unable to know they will always be there to meet their needs.

Then, as the baby becomes a child, the child can't handle being close to a caregiver so they sabotage that closeness again and again and again, sometimes in ways only the target is aware of.

Anyway, I was asking because I wanted to know what happens to that pattern, of pushing away someone who should be very close by sabotaging the relationship, when the child grows up. Do they do this to their own children, to keep from feeling that close connection?

I was hoping for some feedback from a therapist. I'm not purchasing kids or ranting about my own crappy childhood. Trying to figure someone else out.

You need to stop self diagnosing and no, that is not what its about. It's not sabotaging that closeness again. And usually those kids don't have a primary caregiver. You need real therapy and not some internet nut to tell you you have serious issues and its not RAD. You are talking about a personality disorder.

I was hoping to get feedback from an actual therapist about the issue, not about a diagnosis. As I said, it's not about me. I am asking about someone who DOES have RAD, and how that plays out in relationships as an adult, specifically in being a parent.

Again, NOT ABOUT ME.

You were hoping to get feedback from an actual therapist on an anonymous message board? ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids with RAD graduate to personality disorder diagnoses as adults.

Or they get away from their crazy parents and do fine.