moving into our new home, purchased as a foreclosure. feeling weird.

[Anonymous]

Just realize that it isn't your fault that this happened. I would feel similarly. Feel for them, maybe get their personal belongings to them through a 3rd party, and be grateful for your new home. The home was open to anyone to buy, so don't feel like you had anything to do with their experience. Start creating your own good memories and over time you'll forget about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We got our house as a short sale under similar circumstances. The husband took out a large home equity loan and started a business and the housing market crashed and the business didn’t do well. It sounded like he made a lot of bad decisions and the wife was the one floating the family financially for a long time. They divorced and we scored a lovely home in a wonderful neighborhood for a dirt cheap price. We truly lucked out. It’s been a decade and I still think about how we benefitted from another family falling apart. They had kids and we still find little things here and there. It weighs heavily on my mind too and I don’t know how to reconcile that feeling. When we first moved in we found some personal items and I mailed them to the wife with a note but that’s the only contact we’ve had.

I understand how you feel.

+1,000,000 same situation minus the divorce. 10 years later still have guilt especially because they were Hispanic and we are white.

[Anonymous]

Shortly after we bought our house, we found some items tucked away that belonged to a deceased baby (birth and death date inscribed). Found out from neighbors the baby passed away in the home of a genetic condition. We made sure to get the items back to the family (it had happened over a decade earlier so I’m not sure whether they had forgotten where they stored these items).

I realize it’s not the same as a foreclosure, but it’s hard to think about another family suffering sadness in your new home. I made a promise to myself I’d remember their baby so her life would matter and that we’d make happy memories in her honor.

[Anonymous]

I didn't buy my house as a foreclosure, but after I'd lived there for 5 years we discovered a closet in the basement that we'd never opened before. (The previous owners had drywalled over it, which is why we never saw the door.) It was full of old documents, including tax returns and documents from a lawsuit the prior owner had filed against his employer for race discrimination. He lost the case about racial discrimination, and the tax returns revealed the death of their 8-year-old daughter. It was so heartbreaking to imagine the pain the family had been through in the home.

I agree with a suggestion above to try to have your agent get in touch with the sellers and see if you can return some of their personal property, especially the photos. Even if they say no or you are unsuccessful, you can sleep easily knowing that you tried. You have a good heart.

[Anonymous]

For those of you feel sorry that the previous owner of your house lost their house due to bad luck, bad financial decision, or they are not white, etc, why did you buy a foreclosed or short sale ? There are plenty of other houses on the market for you to purchase. You are greedy and heartless when you decided to look the houses and knowing other families were hurt badly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We got our house as a short sale under similar circumstances. The husband took out a large home equity loan and started a business and the housing market crashed and the business didn’t do well. It sounded like he made a lot of bad decisions and the wife was the one floating the family financially for a long time. They divorced and we scored a lovely home in a wonderful neighborhood for a dirt cheap price. We truly lucked out. It’s been a decade and I still think about how we benefitted from another family falling apart. They had kids and we still find little things here and there. It weighs heavily on my mind too and I don’t know how to reconcile that feeling. When we first moved in we found some personal items and I mailed them to the wife with a note but that’s the only contact we’ve had.

I understand how you feel.

+1,000,000 same situation minus the divorce. 10 years later still have guilt especially because they were Hispanic and we are white.

I don’t understand this white guilt. What does being white have to do with anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you feel sorry that the previous owner of your house lost their house due to bad luck, bad financial decision, or they are not white, etc, why did you buy a foreclosed or short sale ? There are plenty of other houses on the market for you to purchase. You are greedy and heartless when you decided to look the houses and knowing other families were hurt badly.

NP here. Well, in my case, it’s a fantastic house in a great neighborhood with low inventory at an amazing price. I do still feel so bad about the previous owners and the foreclosure. They’re still around the neighborhood, and I interact with them occasionally. I don’t feel bad about my decision to buy - it was a great financial decision - but I can still feel sad about their circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Can you find them and mail them the pictures? You are a nice person OP!

[Anonymous]

You never know what other peoples motives. Some people walk away from these properties on purpose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you feel sorry that the previous owner of your house lost their house due to bad luck, bad financial decision, or they are not white, etc, why did you buy a foreclosed or short sale ? There are plenty of other houses on the market for you to purchase. You are greedy and heartless when you decided to look the houses and knowing other families were hurt badly.

So what is supposed to happen with a foreclosed house? Is it just supposed to sit empty for all eternity because someone else lost it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You never know what other peoples motives. Some people walk away from these properties on purpose.

Yep. And some people are greedy and spend beyond their means. We moved to this area from the west coast in 2006. Massive 5,000+sqf homes were being advertised with no money down and payments of $1200/month which completely confused us! Then we read the fine print and saw that the low monthly payment was only for the first 6 months, after which it doubled. Then after a year it doubled again. And six months later, again...to the point where a few years later the monthly payment was more like $5-6000/month. Too many people "needed" their excessive home and when the market crashed two years later and they couldn't refinance, they were screwed.

[Anonymous]

We got our home 100k below asking when I did some digging and realized the owners were going through a divorce and had both bought other homes, ie, carrying 2 mortgages and all the divorce stuff. It had sat for 6 months because it was a wreck inside cosmetically and dirty, like they just grabbed their stuff and went. We got it.

[Anonymous]

Clear everything out, give it a good scrubbing, paint rooms, open up the windows and/or sage smudge the house. All of these things help your mind clear out the feelings and make it your family’s house.

I did these when my father died in our bedroom (peacefully and expected but still hard). It helped create the new space. It doesn’t change anything real, but it helped my mind make the step to move forward.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if this helps but my brother had a house foreclosed. It was sad because it was a nice house and he’d put a ton of work into it himself (bought it as a fixer upper and personally upgraded it over years). He got underwater in part due to the recession and in part due to his wife (now ex) being really stupid and irresponsible with money. With the market crash and he couldn’t buy her half out for the divorce or sell it. Anyway, it was sad but at the end of the day, he was really relieved to be rid of the enormous stress of it (and her) and is really happy not to have that all hanging around his neck. So, while it’s sad, it’s also possible that this was the right way forward for this particular family.

[Anonymous]

I would 'cleanse' the house of negative energy ASAP.