Zero conflict resolution-going nuts

[Anonymous]

Lol. You crazy

[Anonymous]

This is crazy. You do know that people have survived in really healthy, strong marriages BEFORE there were smart phones and texting?

So your husband goes several hours without texting. My spouse and I do that all the time. We’ve been together 25 years. On many days, we kiss each other goodbye in the morning and don’t have any contact until dinner time.

Why are you so insecure?

[Anonymous]

OP, assuming you are not texting him multiple times during those times he's away, I think it's fair that he should text you back if it bothers you. Did he tell you why he won't do it? Not sure what is the big deal if it is important to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, assuming you are not texting him multiple times during those times he's away, I think it's fair that he should text you back if it bothers you. Did he tell you why he won't do it? Not sure what is the big deal if it is important to you.

I agree. But op has to give an example with what timeframe we are talking about.

Like - he’s out with friends for dinner and to watch a football game. Total time away from family would be 4-5 hours. Unless there’s an emergency, I wouldn’t text him during this time. You know he won’t reply so if only text in an emergency. 5 hours is not an unreasonable time to be free of family stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, for example, I ask him to communicate when he is away by responding to calls or texts and he does not. He decides when he wants to respond even though we have kids and it might be emergent etc. He just doesn’t answer.

"Conflict resolution" doesn't really mean "do what I want".

[Anonymous]

Has there ever been an instance where there was an emergency and he hasn’t responded?

Do you have other examples of the behavior you are trying to describe?

[Anonymous]

What are YOU doing to resolve this conflict? He is clearly signalling to you that he does not like getting calls and texts when he is out and about. Why do you continue that behavior when it is obviously so damaging to your relationship?

I personally don't like chit chatting by text, nor do I feel I have to respond immediately to texts that aren't time sensitive. It feels intrusive and distracting, and rude to the people I'm with in person, and often if I try to respond quickly it leads the other person to immediately send me even more irrelevant communications. I know my lack of response drives my sister crazy, but I don't care. He's drawing boundaries and you aren't respecting them. Your idea of "conflict resolution" can't just be to expect him to fall in line with your demands.

[Anonymous]

OP what are you texting him about, exactly? We need examples.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you put a tracker on his phone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lol. You crazy

+ 1

That’s not a conflict. That’s you not getting what you’re demanding. Do you have a different example?

[Anonymous]

There is no conflict. You are creating unnecessary drama. If he is out, leave him alone unless there is an emergency. You sound super controlling.

I am a woman. I do not like to be bothered when I am out. It is the reason I made my boyfriend return a cell phone in 2001. I did not want to be on call 24/7. Give the man some space. You will drive a wedge between you with constant calling/texting when he is away.

[Anonymous]

What do you need to chitchat with him about when he’s out with friends?