Irrational? Don’t feel like entertaining

[Anonymous]

"I need a break. If you want them to come over, that's fine; I'll take myself to see the new 'Downton Abbey' movie and let you guys take over the house. If you want to take Billy and meet them at a restaurant, that's fine, too. What I'm not fine with is entertaining, or being 'on' for an evening. It's been a lot on me lately, and I need some down time."

[Anonymous]

OP here- yes I work. I’ve also been 100% on all week and I’m tired and just don’t want to entertain anyone (whether here, there, anywhere) I don’t feel like conversing, I went to clean my mess of a house and just beg back to normal, not put it off a day because I’m having people over. I’m totally cool with DH taking our kids over there or wherever with his parents for dinner. I’d just prefer it not be at our home and I don’t feel like going along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I need a break. If you want them to come over, that's fine; I'll take myself to see the new 'Downton Abbey' movie and let you guys take over the house. If you want to take Billy and meet them at a restaurant, that's fine, too. What I'm not fine with is entertaining, or being 'on' for an evening. It's been a lot on me lately, and I need some down time."

Op here- yes! If it comes to that this sounds like a plan!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- yes I work. I’ve also been 100% on all week and I’m tired and just don’t want to entertain anyone (whether here, there, anywhere) I don’t feel like conversing, I went to clean my mess of a house and just beg back to normal, not put it off a day because I’m having people over. I’m totally cool with DH taking our kids over there or wherever with his parents for dinner. I’d just prefer it not be at our home and I don’t feel like going along.

Up to you how your in laws and DH would handle that. You're entitled but no one can tell you how they'll respond, if it's weird, whatever. Between you and your husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- yes I work. I’ve also been 100% on all week and I’m tired and just don’t want to entertain anyone (whether here, there, anywhere) I don’t feel like conversing, I went to clean my mess of a house and just beg back to normal, not put it off a day because I’m having people over. I’m totally cool with DH taking our kids over there or wherever with his parents for dinner. I’d just prefer it not be at our home and I don’t feel like going along.

You don’t need to work to justify not wanting to entertain. You can say no if you are a stay at hone mom too!

[Anonymous]

I’d host because DH clearly is hinting he wants them there and 2 extra plates for dinner are NBD.

LOL spoken like a true clueless pushy relative.. I do not believe in a million years that the OP's husband is hinting that he wants his parents to come over. No guy goes away for a week long business trip and then thinks gee the first thing that I want to do when I get home s entertain my parents. No way. I would bet the moon that OP's in laws called her husband because they know he got back in town and started bugging him about getting together. He probably figured it was better to get this out of the way during the week instead of giving up a weekend evening or day to deal with them.

People who say oh its only setting out two more plates are usually the most obnoxious about actually expecting a nice dinner and to be entertained. They simply EXPECT the host tp act like it was all effortless so they are comfortable inviting their butts back again soon.

[Anonymous]

I would agree, but ask that he get the house cleaned up and prepare the meal.

[Anonymous]

I would be fine with it if DH was in charge of dinner since, you know, he’s working a half day.

[Anonymous]

Did anyone even say it was dinner? Maybe they come for an hour, see the kids, have a drink? Not seeing the big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I’d host because DH clearly is hinting he wants them there and 2 extra plates for dinner are NBD.

LOL spoken like a true clueless pushy relative.. I do not believe in a million years that the OP's husband is hinting that he wants his parents to come over. No guy goes away for a week long business trip and then thinks gee the first thing that I want to do when I get home s entertain my parents. No way. I would bet the moon that OP's in laws called her husband because they know he got back in town and started bugging him about getting together. He probably figured it was better to get this out of the way during the week instead of giving up a weekend evening or day to deal with them.

People who say oh its only setting out two more plates are usually the most obnoxious about actually expecting a nice dinner and to be entertained. They simply EXPECT the host tp act like it was all effortless so they are comfortable inviting their butts back again soon.

Maybe OP was planning on serving leftovers and there's not enough for two more plates. Maybe the kids were going to be served mac & cheese while the parents fended for themselves with a quick sandwich. I'm guessing what OP's husband is suggesting a sit down meal, home cooked and served by OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"I need a break. If you want them to come over, that's fine; I'll take myself to see the new 'Downton Abbey' movie and let you guys take over the house. If you want to take Billy and meet them at a restaurant, that's fine, too. What I'm not fine with is entertaining, or being 'on' for an evening. It's been a lot on me lately, and I need some down time."

Op here- yes! If it comes to that this sounds like a plan!

I can’t imagine any rational person being upset by what you’re posting OP. Travel creates a lot of work, and not just for the spouse who’s out of town.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did anyone even say it was dinner? Maybe they come for an hour, see the kids, have a drink? Not seeing the big deal.

Yeah, as long as ***DH*** cleans up the house a bit and goes on a liquor store run or grocery run or whatever else is needed to make it happen, it's not a big deal. And I still think OP can take herself to a movie if she doesn't feel like being "on" for company.

[Anonymous]

It’s not “company” it is his parents. Make a pot of chili, a pan of cornbread, and pick up what you can as you normally would. This shouldn’t be an OMG super stressful entertaining event. If you feel like the house needs to look perfect and you need to have a multiple course meal that is on you and your own anxieties. Say hi and be pleasant. His parents are likely more interested in talking to your DH and your kids anyhow. If you don’t feel like being a major part of conversation busy yourself with something else. If DH invited them over, then that is what he wants to do with his day off...not what you decide he wants to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not “company” it is his parents. Make a pot of chili, a pan of cornbread, and pick up what you can as you normally would. This shouldn’t be an OMG super stressful entertaining event. If you feel like the house needs to look perfect and you need to have a multiple course meal that is on you and your own anxieties. Say hi and be pleasant. His parents are likely more interested in talking to your DH and your kids anyhow. If you don’t feel like being a major part of conversation busy yourself with something else. If DH invited them over, then that is what he wants to do with his day off...not what you decide he wants to do.

Girl, please. Is this 1957? Why aren't you telling OP'S HUSBAND that he can darn well make a pot of chili, a pan of cornbread, and pick up the house?

OP is a bit tapped out. She also works outside the home. Do you get it?

HE'S the one with a half-day. HE's the one who wants to see them on a weekday. Why are you telling HER to make food, clean, and make conversation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not “company” it is his parents. Your husband can make a pot of chili, a pan of cornbread, and pick up what he can as you normally would. This shouldn’t be an OMG super stressful entertaining event. If you feel like the house needs to look perfect and you need to have a multiple course meal that is on you and your own anxieties. Say hi and be pleasant. His parents are likely more interested in talking to your DH and your kids anyhow. If you don’t feel like being a major part of conversation busy yourself with something else. If DH invited them over, then that is what he wants to do with his day off...not what you decide he wants to do.

Fixed that for you.

Seriously though, this happens a lot in my household and I feel you. Sometimes I just tell DH I dont have the energy and he snaps to it and says, "No problem! I will get and prepare the food and pick up the house." And in that case, I hang out with them and we have a simple meal. But it is still a late night -- coffee & dessert. And when its a weeknight, it sucks. But I do appreciate having a clean house and dinner prepared by DH so I figure it saves a little time in the long run since I usually do the cooking. Other times, he agrees and says let's do it on the weekend. There have also been times when I suggest he goes to their house and he does and everything is fine. Its your home too, you have a right to unwind when you need to. Just feel it out with him.