When your picky teen announces she is heating “healthy”
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Anonymous
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If you ask parents of kids with eating disorders how the eating disorder started, many of them will tell you it started with a kid who used to eat normally (the same way as the family), then the child went vegetarian, then vegan, and then "vegan healthy" which is basically eating nothing but air.
If your child is anything like that -- my advice to you is to intervene NOW. Even before it gets to a point where the child is losing weight or failing to gain weight. Anorexia and other eating disorders like ARFID are horrible and hard to cure, and the longer they go on the more they become entrenched and the harder they are to cure. If you intervene before it is even something anyone will diagnose you will save yourself and your child some years of heartache. Follow your gut. If your picky teen never wanted to eat bread with seeds on it, but now wants to eat whole grain bread with sprouted nuts, mozzarella from grass fed cows and heirloom organic tomatoes with some cold pressed olive oil and basil -- if that's what she means by healthy -- plenty of calories, no problem. But if she is picking off the bread from a sandwich and just eating a slice or two of turkey and some lettuce... that's not enough food. Don't let "healthy eating" mean "eating nothing" |
Anonymous
Op here. Kid is a healthy weight and not disordered. I suspect it’s peer pressure but she isn’t going to starve herself. |
Anonymous
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So... what does she tell you she wants to eat?
I get not wanting to eat white bread -- but what does she want? |
Anonymous
Just FYI, my kid was a healthy weight when he started eating "healthy" too. Two years later he wasn't a healthy weight. Only in looking back do I see where it started. In hindsight I would have started counting calories earlier and making sure he ate enough "healthy" fats to keep up his caloric intake. At the time, I thought it was great he was eating more vegetables and fewer junky carbs, and since everyone in the US is so concerned about the obesity crisis, I was happy he wasn't headed down that road. |
Anonymous
+ 1 OP, treating anorexia is difficult and expensive as hell. They are ALL at healthy weights when they start. Don’t allow even a 5 pound weight loss with this. |
Anonymous
My DS has this too and he is 26. He described it as making his throat and tongue itchy. The food list has expanded as he has aged. |
Anonymous
+1 . OP, I think me and a few other PPs come in on threads like these and share or experiences with anorexia and eating disorders. Invariably someone criticizes us saying something like "These posters won't be happy unless everyone is diagnosed with anorexia." It's not that. It's just that eating disorders suck and we've been there done that and want to spare you the pain. |
Anonymous
It was years later when we found out it was gluten and eggs for mine. My go to meal was to make scrambled eggs and toast when she didn’t want to eat anything else because it made her stomach hurt. Oh well, we did the best we could. Congrats OP! I’m glad she’s eating healthy. |
Anonymous
NP. I think it’s the same way for ADHD on other threads. I wasn’t diagnosed as an adult and I think how different my life could’ve been if I’d received treatment as a kid. I hate seeing other kids who sound just like me slip through the cracks. But we have to acknowledge that sometimes it’s just a kid being organized or sometimes it’s just a kid who truly wants to eat healthy. I especially hate the posts warning everyone against vegetarians and vegans. I get that people with eating disorders can hide behind such labels, but vegetarians and vegans who do it right have some of the healthiest diets. |
Anonymous
Well, perhaps these two need a nutritionist’s involvement to insure a complete diet within the range of what is healthy for them? I say this as someone who spent most of her 20s on the border of thin and disordered eating. Nutrition matters, and it is good to I still habits early. |
Anonymous
| Pay close attention to what she does eat then. |
Anonymous
Two weeks ago we celebrated the fact that my kid was released from treatment for the eating disorder that was diagnosed 18 months ago. Know what opened up my eyes to the issue? DCUM. Seriously, comments like the ones above made me pause and take a harder look at some things that had felt odd for a while. And when I did, I realized that the pickiness had become healthy eating which had become severely restricted eating of almost nothing. Within days of my taking that closer look, he was diagnosed with anorexia and was 6 pounds away from a recommendation for hospitalization (tall lanky boys hide in plain sight easier than girls). So for those who think commenters should steer clear from cautionary tales, I'm here to say it literally helped save my kid. And if you were one of those commenters, thank you for taking the time to share your story. |
Anonymous
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When DD switched to a healthier diet, it meant less meat, almost no fast food, and being aware of how food was produced and it’s environmental impact. She felt guilty eating foods that were good for her but bad for the world, the workers growing them, or the animals abused to produce them. She tries to eat ethically and healthfully.
I do my best. If I buy beef (which she almost never eats), she’ll have something like a meat free version or eggs from her friend’s chickens. I think what she’s doing is admirable, but I just don’t have the mental capacity or the money to buy everything from backyard gardeners in our town and local farmers. We participate in local shares and shop at the farmers market (she grills the vendors before approving purchases), and she mostly eats at restaurants that locally source their fells from ethical growers. She does have some exceptions, like some candies, an occasional soda, and weirdly she loves tacos from Taco Bell. She maintains a healthy weight. She never preaches to anyone about their sinful diet. Even with me,when she started asking for accommodations, she tried to approach it as “how can we do this together” rather than “what you’re doing is awful and I’ll never eat again if you don’t buy $13/lb organic strawberries at the FM and never serve beef again.” If she’s hanging out with friends and they all decided to go to McDonald’s (which she strongly dislikes) she will vote for a different place when they’re choosing, then get a “healthy” option like the fruit & yogurt, and sometimes an ice cream. I think moderation and flexibility are key ingredients both in diets and attitudes about diets. |
Anonymous
| Just take her shopping with you! |