Braggy Parents

[Anonymous]

OP - example?

[Anonymous]

NP - just offering a different perspective. I don't talk about my kiddos much, so I don't think I'm a braggy parent, but I love it if YOU are! In a world full of so much self doubt and worse, I love that you are proud of your parenting and your kids, and I will be delighted to hear that they are doing incredible things - on bikes, in school, on the playground, wherever.

"Larla ate all her vegetables today!"
Great!

"Larlo scored nine goals in his soccer game."
Go Larlo!

"My kid is the first to read in her class."
Fantastic! "

"Junior sorted all the matching socks in the laundry."
Tell me more!

[Anonymous]

Usually it’s from parents (mostly moms) who make Motherhood their number one goal in life. Beware of any moms who use the word “parenting.”

AAP parents and travel sports parents, I’m looking at you! You are the worst offenders.

My then 8 year old DS once had the soccer game of his life. Something like 3 goals in the community league. One mom asked me what he ate for breakfast and I sarcastically said, “ he’s on a high protein, low carb diet with supplements...” and you’ve never seen so many soccer moms whip their heads around faster, genuinely interested, maybe mildly horrified. All were very disappointed that I was joking. Think kiddo had Capn Crunch w chocolate milk.

This is quite a few people. Better get used to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP - just offering a different perspective. I don't talk about my kiddos much, so I don't think I'm a braggy parent, but I love it if YOU are! In a world full of so much self doubt and worse, I love that you are proud of your parenting and your kids, and I will be delighted to hear that they are doing incredible things - on bikes, in school, on the playground, wherever.

"Larla ate all her vegetables today!"
Great!

"Larlo scored nine goals in his soccer game."
Go Larlo!

"My kid is the first to read in her class."
Fantastic! "

"Junior sorted all the matching socks in the laundry."
Tell me more!

I'm a NP. I think the above examples are kind of fine? Like, sure, share objective statements in a positive way! You don't even have to disclaim them. But I do roll my eyes (internally, er, so to speak) when people say things like, "Oh, Larlo is just SO handsome. Strangers come up to me every day and tell me. It's just objectively true. And so charming! I'm definitely getting him into modeling."

And I have heard things like that from a couple of people I know. I would buy that they're just "in love" with their kids, but that kind of talk about a new boyfriend would be just as annoying. Especially if it's 1) nearly constant and 2) borderline delusional.

[Anonymous]

I got straight A's a few times in elementary school. I also won the spelling bee, oratorical contest, essay contest, and French poetry contest. My parents: "That's what you're supposed to do."

I will stand in the middle of the street with a bullhorn to say that I am proud of my daughter's accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

My faith prevents me from bragging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got straight A's a few times in elementary school. I also won the spelling bee, oratorical contest, essay contest, and French poetry contest. My parents: "That's what you're supposed to do."

I will stand in the middle of the street with a bullhorn to say that I am proud of my daughter's accomplishments.

I agree with your parents, and I'd also be proud. But who would I tell? I brag to my mom about my kids'accomplishments, and sometimes to my brother and SIL. DH brags to his mom.

But when we're with our friends, we mostly just catch each other up.

[Anonymous]

We had one friend who constantly was bragging about her children....non stop. It got so annoying that I rarely spent time with her. Her kids were very nice but perfectly average. I’m sure it had something to do with her own insecurities.

[Anonymous]

My six siblings and I have all been very successful in our careers and in our marriages. I remember my mother telling me that she avoids talking about us with her friends other then saying we’re doing well because so many of her friends have adult children who have struggled and she doesn’t want them to feel bad. She was and is a great mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got straight A's a few times in elementary school. I also won the spelling bee, oratorical contest, essay contest, and French poetry contest. My parents: "That's what you're supposed to do."

I will stand in the middle of the street with a bullhorn to say that I am proud of my daughter's accomplishments.

You don't need to tell anyone but HER that you are proud of her. By all means, tell her how proud her accomplishments make you! That's important I think. But other people just don't care all that much and will think you are bragging and attempting to put them down. So, keep it in the family is my advice.

[Anonymous]

There's a balance. My mom went out of her way to say negative things about us and roll her eyes when someone praised us. I think she thought she was being modest and self-deprecating, but she really wasn't, it was just a different way of making your kids all about you. So if you're priding yourself on not being That Parent, make sure you're not going too far in the other direction, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got straight A's a few times in elementary school. I also won the spelling bee, oratorical contest, essay contest, and French poetry contest. My parents: "That's what you're supposed to do."

I will stand in the middle of the street with a bullhorn to say that I am proud of my daughter's accomplishments.

You don't need to tell anyone but HER that you are proud of her. By all means, tell her how proud her accomplishments make you! That's important I think. But other people just don't care all that much and will think you are bragging and attempting to put them down. So, keep it in the family is my advice.

NP here, but my mother was the same way. She would talk to her friends about their children’s accomplishments, but never about mine.
I grew up thinking that I was not as important as other people and that my life and accomplishments weren’t as “real” as those of my friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP - just offering a different perspective. I don't talk about my kiddos much, so I don't think I'm a braggy parent, but I love it if YOU are! In a world full of so much self doubt and worse, I love that you are proud of your parenting and your kids, and I will be delighted to hear that they are doing incredible things - on bikes, in school, on the playground, wherever.

"Larla ate all her vegetables today!"
Great!

"Larlo scored nine goals in his soccer game."
Go Larlo!

"My kid is the first to read in her class."
Fantastic! "

"Junior sorted all the matching socks in the laundry."
Tell me more!

I'm a NP. I think the above examples are kind of fine? Like, sure, share objective statements in a positive way! You don't even have to disclaim them. But I do roll my eyes (internally, er, so to speak) when people say things like, "Oh, Larlo is just SO handsome. Strangers come up to me every day and tell me. It's just objectively true. And so charming! I'm definitely getting him into modeling."

And I have heard things like that from a couple of people I know. I would buy that they're just "in love" with their kids, but that kind of talk about a new boyfriend would be just as annoying. Especially if it's 1) nearly constant and 2) borderline delusional.

Haha yes I have an acquaintance who said to me that she is constantly “shocked at how classically adorable her children are.” I had to literally bite my tongue to not say “thought every parent ever.” There are some people who just don’t get the memo that no one is marveling at your kid.

[Anonymous]

I had this very discussion with my best friend this morning while walking. We were discussing one person in particular but we think she brags about her daughter because she has (or has had) a lot of crappy things happen in her life and she's either trying to focus on the good for herself or get others to focus on the good so they forget about the bad (i.e. her husband cheated on her). Her kid isn't particularly spectacular, but she wants to make sure everyone thinks she is. We just nod and smile. Mostly I think it's sad. My best friend and I are both very happy with our lives and we rarely ever brag about our kids. My MIL does it about my kids to her friends and I don't really like it but I can't stop her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP - just offering a different perspective. I don't talk about my kiddos much, so I don't think I'm a braggy parent, but I love it if YOU are! In a world full of so much self doubt and worse, I love that you are proud of your parenting and your kids, and I will be delighted to hear that they are doing incredible things - on bikes, in school, on the playground, wherever.

"Larla ate all her vegetables today!"
Great!

"Larlo scored nine goals in his soccer game."
Go Larlo!

"My kid is the first to read in her class."
Fantastic! "

"Junior sorted all the matching socks in the laundry."
Tell me more!

I wish I were more like you. I mean that genuinely. I am the kind of person who is almost always glass half full with a sunny outlook and finding silver linings, but I do get annoyed by braggy parents. I wish I saw it (and reacted to it) the way you did. I will try to spread more joy. Mostly I just unfollow those people so I don't get hit with it all the time...