We have the cheaper GEHA health insurance -- found it generally cheapest for our ASD kiddo who has lots of therapy (4+ sessions per week) from ST and OT who don't take insurance. BCBS (the cheaper plan of the two BCBS options) is also good, but only if you use only in network providers (which can be hard to find for ST/OT).
There are many good providers (OT/ST/PT, and schools) in MD between Bethesda and Rockville. Katherine Thomas School, Ivymount School, and Auburn School (the latter for more Asberger's type kids) are three good privates for kids with ASD and all are in MD. Ivymount and Kennedy Kreiger (in Baltimore) also have therapeutic (private) preschools for kids with ASD.
Generally, my impression is that DC is a bit better for providing public (free) services and non-public school placements IF you can be persistent/aggressive in getting your kid what s/he needs. That said, the DC public schools don't have very strong reputations compared to the suburbs, and that seems to translate to SPED as well. Then again, DC public schools are very uneven -- there are all the public schools (which you are zoned for based on your address, and vary greatly across the city), then a bunch of charters, which you can lottery into, then also some city-wide lottery schools. And, if that weren't complicated enough, DCPS have self contained (all special ed kid) classes, which don't have the best reputation, but work for some, plus each charter is supposed to have its own "continuum of care" for kids with special needs. So there can be a lot to figure out with the DC school system.
You could probably get better advice on schools if you can tell us your ideal placement/biggest concerns for each kid, and age of each kid.
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