Would you consider this when deciding whether to stay in DC area?

[Anonymous]

My dad worked in the government, and my mom was a nurse. We were middle class. My parents skipped new cars and vacations for us to go to private school. They wanted us to be influenced by people with money, not the lower middle class people who lived around us.

[Anonymous]

Don't leave. The entire Mall is full of amazing free museums. We have a great zoo. The Metro will take you anywhere. The ocean is 2.5 hours away, the mountains are 2 hours away. The news of the world is our local news. But you have to engage to get what's here. Otherwise it's just lots of not very good suburbs compared to other suburban options around the country.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many of us are in the DC area because of very specific jobs that cannot easily be found elsewhere. So whether or not our kids get the most extracurriculars is not the question.

I am perturbed by the fact that you already feel behind when you describe yourself as a median income level earner, and going up. This is where you're going wrong.

I think the comparison with neighbors is a legitimate concern. We have considered whether to move to a nearby area that we like that is (thanks to tear downs) a mix of huge $1.5 million homes next door to a shrinking number of old split levels that we could afford if we stretch. We like the town but I don’t think I want my kids to think they are poor because they are comparing themselves to the neighbors when in fact we are far from it. I feel like it would be hard for them to recognize their own privilege in that situation.

[Anonymous]

I seriously doubt your children will have better opportunities in life having grown up thinking of thinking of themselves as “rich” in some LCOL brain drained city than “average” in a HCOL city. They’ll be more competitive and understand the real economy if you stay in DC. Raise your children to be happy regardless of their socioeconomic status. It’s friends and education and passion that make someone happy not stuff. You do a disservice to your children if you and they don’t know this.

[Anonymous]

I have a different perspective on this but my point will be that it's all relative. DH and I grew up in a tiny rural town in the midwest. We had 1 choice for a foreign language in HS and my parents both worked factory jobs that they ended up losing when the company was sold and their jobs went overseas. Not a situation I want to move back to at all.

DH and I both have good jobs here and make what I think is a median income for this area. But the benefits here are numerous. We love the diversity and the options. So, rather than thinking about all the things you may not be able to provide your children compared to others, it might be helpful to think about all the other things they are gaining here and the exposure they might not get elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

They are better off here, if you are thinking of moving to some tiny hick town. They will most likely have better schools here, more diverse upbringing and become more educated and smarter and more open minded adults. Your reasons show your narrow minded approach of keeping up with the Jones'. SIL moved to a small Indiana town and both she and BIL are highly educated people, phd and master's degrees, job that pays well was there. Their three kids are wonderful kids and grew up in the Bible town. Niece choose to stay in home town and go to some tiny never heard of college to be there with her boyfriend.(She was accepted to way better colleges and threw a fit that she needs to be with him). It is not about camps, it is about opportunities you give your kids, diverse metropolitan area or some small town where they might grow up thinking not getting pregnant in HS is doing great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are better off here, if you are thinking of moving to some tiny hick town. They will most likely have better schools here, more diverse upbringing and become more educated and smarter and more open minded adults. Your reasons show your narrow minded approach of keeping up with the Jones'. SIL moved to a small Indiana town and both she and BIL are highly educated people, phd and master's degrees, job that pays well was there. Their three kids are wonderful kids and grew up in the Bible town. Niece choose to stay in home town and go to some tiny never heard of college to be there with her boyfriend.(She was accepted to way better colleges and threw a fit that she needs to be with him). It is not about camps, it is about opportunities you give your kids, diverse metropolitan area or some small town where they might grow up thinking not getting pregnant in HS is doing great.

Is this post supposed to show how open minded you are?

[Anonymous]

I would move back my family. I think kids benefit a lot from having grandparents and people who love them passing in and out of their homes.

As far as competitive parenting goes, I don’t think you are going to get out of it as UMC in a medium sized city unless you homeschool. I am a child psychiatrist, so I have the luxury of finding fairly highly paid employment wherever I want to live, and I have lived in a few different places with small, medium, and large populations. Kids are just as stressed and anxious wherever you go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are better off here, if you are thinking of moving to some tiny hick town. They will most likely have better schools here, more diverse upbringing and become more educated and smarter and more open minded adults. Your reasons show your narrow minded approach of keeping up with the Jones'. SIL moved to a small Indiana town and both she and BIL are highly educated people, phd and master's degrees, job that pays well was there. Their three kids are wonderful kids and grew up in the Bible town. Niece choose to stay in home town and go to some tiny never heard of college to be there with her boyfriend.(She was accepted to way better colleges and threw a fit that she needs to be with him). It is not about camps, it is about opportunities you give your kids, diverse metropolitan area or some small town where they might grow up thinking not getting pregnant in HS is doing great.

Is this post supposed to show how open minded you are?

omg the girl chose a less well known college!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are better off here, if you are thinking of moving to some tiny hick town. They will most likely have better schools here, more diverse upbringing and become more educated and smarter and more open minded adults. Your reasons show your narrow minded approach of keeping up with the Jones'. SIL moved to a small Indiana town and both she and BIL are highly educated people, phd and master's degrees, job that pays well was there. Their three kids are wonderful kids and grew up in the Bible town. Niece choose to stay in home town and go to some tiny never heard of college to be there with her boyfriend.(She was accepted to way better colleges and threw a fit that she needs to be with him). It is not about camps, it is about opportunities you give your kids, diverse metropolitan area or some small town where they might grow up thinking not getting pregnant in HS is doing great.

many people don’t know anything about UVA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not just extracurriculars. I felt more "normal" and well off growing up middle class in a LCOL area than I suspect my kid will here, where we live in an apartment and a lot of his friends live in houses with devoted playrooms (just for example). We can only afford driving and camping vacations, our friends fly places. I try not to highlight this stuff in front of my kid but kids aren't stupid. We're not poor. I am sure the differences will only become more apparent with age.

I'd strongly consider moving out for a better quality of life on an average income - but we're in the two specialized jobs trap, where one of us could find woek elsewhere, but both would be like lightninf striking.

so you are not deciding whether to leave DC at all - you are pretty much stuck here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are better off here, if you are thinking of moving to some tiny hick town. They will most likely have better schools here, more diverse upbringing and become more educated and smarter and more open minded adults. Your reasons show your narrow minded approach of keeping up with the Jones'. SIL moved to a small Indiana town and both she and BIL are highly educated people, phd and master's degrees, job that pays well was there. Their three kids are wonderful kids and grew up in the Bible town. Niece choose to stay in home town and go to some tiny never heard of college to be there with her boyfriend.(She was accepted to way better colleges and threw a fit that she needs to be with him). It is not about camps, it is about opportunities you give your kids, diverse metropolitan area or some small town where they might grow up thinking not getting pregnant in HS is doing great.

many people don’t know anything about UVA

What does UVA have to do with my post?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are better off here, if you are thinking of moving to some tiny hick town. They will most likely have better schools here, more diverse upbringing and become more educated and smarter and more open minded adults. Your reasons show your narrow minded approach of keeping up with the Jones'. SIL moved to a small Indiana town and both she and BIL are highly educated people, phd and master's degrees, job that pays well was there. Their three kids are wonderful kids and grew up in the Bible town. Niece choose to stay in home town and go to some tiny never heard of college to be there with her boyfriend.(She was accepted to way better colleges and threw a fit that she needs to be with him). It is not about camps, it is about opportunities you give your kids, diverse metropolitan area or some small town where they might grow up thinking not getting pregnant in HS is doing great.

Is this post supposed to show how open minded you are?

omg the girl chose a less well known college!

For a boy, are you that dumb? 18 year old choose to stay in hometown for a boy, not for college.

[Anonymous]

Focus on your kids, not your irrational fears. Definitely do not compare your life to others around you. Your kids will be more than fine, they don't need everything everyone has or is doing.

[Anonymous]

What is your income? If you’re going to be the poorest family in a rich neighborhood, I might consider factoring it into my decision to move. DH lived this way as a kid and it still affects him. My family also raised me frugally, but I think their attitude and values had to do with why I don’t feel inferior. If you’re questioning already, I think your parental attitude is going to be more like DH’s parents, which won’t do your kids any favors.