It's now been 4 years of TTC #2

[Anonymous]

what did they do differently?

[Anonymous]

and what were you diagnosed with?

[Anonymous]

I know several women that got pregnant after 40 and even several times. It happens to many women that their fertility has a last big bang. They gave up and couple of years later, pregnant, and then again, and again.
But, as you say, you are getting older, you need to decide if you want to keep trying due to age. Wishing you best luck whatever you decide!

[Anonymous]

Who diagnosed peri menopause? That is kind of early. Is there immune system issue?

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry you’re going through this. We’ve been trying for 4 yrs too. My last try with Donor#3 is this month. Between my last try and this somehow I just woke up one day and I’m at peace with whatever happens. I think I’m just tired.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry OP. This is not your fault - you have done so much to try to have another. My journey was not the same (unexplained infertility from the start, and I started trying very young) but at the end of it all I am also a mother of an only child, not by choice. I would suggest trying another therapist to help you process the grief, because it is a form of grief that you are experiencing. I am no longer in NOVA but I had a good experience with Puma Cornick in Arlington. Best wishes to you.

[Anonymous]

Lots of hugs to you OP. We've been trying for 2 years to have another child. I'm 42 and like you, conceived easily in the past. I'm considering having my husband get a vasectomy after my 43 birthday so we can stop the roller coaster each month. I feel that my head is not present with my family as I am so fixated on having another child. I need that to stop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This week is the 4 year anniversary of TTC #2. I can't believe it's been 4 years already with not a single pregnancy.

I got pregnant with my son on the first try at 35 and started TTC #2 when he was 15 months old. I was diagnosed with low ovarian reserve/secondary infertility (my AMH was low). I was told that my chances of getting pregnant with IVF were 20% at age 37. We tried anyway and did 3 IUIs and 3 IVF cycles between 37-40. All BFNs.

I think it's probably time to give up at this point since I am now starting peri-menopause as of the last few months. I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with my long-term infertility and also the start of peri-menopause because it now feels like my fertility is officially over, and that's been hard to deal with.

We have decided against DE. Possibly open to adoption but unsure about it.

When you were doing IVF, what was chances did the RE give you?

OP here. When I was doing IVF the RE said 20% chance of pregnancy. We did IVF between 37-40. None worked.

Then at 40 they said chances of success with IVF less than 10% and less than 1% trying naturally.

My stats at age 42 are:

AMH .60
FSH 19
LH 7
Estradiol 64

I dislike this focus on success rates. There are women with a 1 percent chance of conceiving who manage to do so. Focusing on these numbers isn’t necessarily a good idea because they really don’t know what will or will not work for you.

I personally would try more rounds of IVF with genetic testing if I wanted a second baby this badly. I wouldn’t stop at 3 rounds. Iui is s giant waste of time and wouldn’t even count that in the same category as IVF.
Good luck

[Anonymous]

OP, I use Solaray One Daily Phytoestrogen Supplement for peri symptoms. Evening Primrose Oil also helps. Not sure if this would have a (positive or negative) affect on your trying to conceive, so check with your doctor. But it helps tremendously with hot flashes, night sweats, and insomnia. I also find that peri has shortened my cycles and Co Q 10 helps them get almost back to normal.

[Anonymous]

I was where you are, OP, and I know it's painful. We chose to go the adoption route. It wasn't always easy, but our younger DC has brought so much joy to our family. She and our son have a wonderful, loving relationship. They are now in their teens and early 20s, and we are all grateful for the blessings that we experienced by completing our family through adoption. I know it's not the right choice for every family, but if you feel like asking questions about adoption, go ahead and I'll check back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was where you are, OP, and I know it's painful. We chose to go the adoption route. It wasn't always easy, but our younger DC has brought so much joy to our family. She and our son have a wonderful, loving relationship. They are now in their teens and early 20s, and we are all grateful for the blessings that we experienced by completing our family through adoption. I know it's not the right choice for every family, but if you feel like asking questions about adoption, go ahead and I'll check back.

OP here. Thanks for sharing. Adoption is often on my mind. We did meet with an adoption lawyer and a home study agency and what we learned about birth mother substance use really concerned us. We would not be comfortable with any maternal substance use other than minor smoking.we were told we would be waiting for 4 or more years if we were so specific about substance use. I’m also not sure we could handle moderate to severe special needs. We do not have much of a support network. So those considerations make me anxious about adoption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was where you are, OP, and I know it's painful. We chose to go the adoption route. It wasn't always easy, but our younger DC has brought so much joy to our family. She and our son have a wonderful, loving relationship. They are now in their teens and early 20s, and we are all grateful for the blessings that we experienced by completing our family through adoption. I know it's not the right choice for every family, but if you feel like asking questions about adoption, go ahead and I'll check back.

OP here. Thanks for sharing. Adoption is often on my mind. We did meet with an adoption lawyer and a home study agency and what we learned about birth mother substance use really concerned us. We would not be comfortable with any maternal substance use other than minor smoking.we were told we would be waiting for 4 or more years if we were so specific about substance use. I’m also not sure we could handle moderate to severe special needs. We do not have much of a support network. So those considerations make me anxious about adoption.

Yeah. I understand that. Have you considered international adoption?

[Anonymous]

Ditto for CoQ10, and a water and fat-soluble form absorbs better. Good luck!