When your spouse goes on business trips...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. DH has zero respect for my job. Thinks that I should find something where I don’t have to travel at all. (It’s only 4-5x a year for 2-3 days) but I also work from home 80%. No kids, but DH is usually pissy because he has to get up early to walk/feed the dog. Then he pretty much ignores my texts for most of my trip. When i get back he expects sex within an hour or 2 and I’m usually exhausted from the trip. If it doesn’t happen I get an attitude or he doesn’t speak to me. He doesn’t realize that I don’t want to f*ck the mean guy.

My first husband was like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. All the time. I have countless pics and videos of my wife. We both enjoy it.

Yep! We send each other videos back and forth. It’s hot

How long have you been married?

[Anonymous]

Ha. I wish. DW just gets angry and resentful towards me when I have to travel. Does it matter that I bring in almost 3x her salary giving her a life she otherwise wouldn’t have? No, she prefers to be miserable at home watching the kids. Constant complaints of lack of sleep and no “time to herself” but constant refusals to do either. Weather delay on my way back? Better believe that’s my fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha. I wish. DW just gets angry and resentful towards me when I have to travel. Does it matter that I bring in almost 3x her salary giving her a life she otherwise wouldn’t have? No, she prefers to be miserable at home watching the kids. Constant complaints of lack of sleep and no “time to herself” but constant refusals to do either. Weather delay on my way back? Better believe that’s my fault.

Consider hiring a sitter as a surprise treat a day or two before and schedule a massage for your wife. Could change up that blame game by giving her some relief. She has no weather delay btw...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha. I wish. DW just gets angry and resentful towards me when I have to travel. Does it matter that I bring in almost 3x her salary giving her a life she otherwise wouldn’t have? No, she prefers to be miserable at home watching the kids. Constant complaints of lack of sleep and no “time to herself” but constant refusals to do either. Weather delay on my way back? Better believe that’s my fault.

Consider hiring a sitter as a surprise treat a day or two before and schedule a massage for your wife. Could change up that blame game by giving her some relief. She has no weather delay btw...

Agree with this. DH and I both travel, but he travels more and for longer. I figured out that having the kids run and be ready to greet him at the door with kisses and hugs and "I missed you daddy-yyyy" were the things that made him happiest when he got back, and I send them off running to greet them when I hear him pulling in. It somehow makes both his absence and his re-integration better.

If DH sent me flowers or an masseuse the day before he returned, I would be in heaven.

[Anonymous]

No. His phone is paid for through his work so dirty texting/videos are a no no. He only calls once a day to make sure I'm alive. He's got this weird obsession that I might die while he's gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha. I wish. DW just gets angry and resentful towards me when I have to travel. Does it matter that I bring in almost 3x her salary giving her a life she otherwise wouldn’t have? No, she prefers to be miserable at home watching the kids. Constant complaints of lack of sleep and no “time to herself” but constant refusals to do either. Weather delay on my way back? Better believe that’s my fault.

Consider hiring a sitter as a surprise treat a day or two before and schedule a massage for your wife. Could change up that blame game by giving her some relief. She has no weather delay btw...

Don’t think this hasn’t been offered up on multiple occasions along with my mom, her mom, anything possible to share or relieve the burden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. DH has zero respect for my job. Thinks that I should find something where I don’t have to travel at all. (It’s only 4-5x a year for 2-3 days) but I also work from home 80%. No kids, but DH is usually pissy because he has to get up early to walk/feed the dog. Then he pretty much ignores my texts for most of my trip. When i get back he expects sex within an hour or 2 and I’m usually exhausted from the trip. If it doesn’t happen I get an attitude or he doesn’t speak to me. He doesn’t realize that I don’t want to f*ck the mean guy.

My first husband was like this.

No kids?! Next time don’t come back until he can get it together.

[Anonymous]

No, it's a vacation from all his control-freakiness. I can do whatever I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha. I wish. DW just gets angry and resentful towards me when I have to travel. Does it matter that I bring in almost 3x her salary giving her a life she otherwise wouldn’t have? No, she prefers to be miserable at home watching the kids. Constant complaints of lack of sleep and no “time to herself” but constant refusals to do either. Weather delay on my way back? Better believe that’s my fault.

Consider hiring a sitter as a surprise treat a day or two before and schedule a massage for your wife. Could change up that blame game by giving her some relief. She has no weather delay btw...

Don’t think this hasn’t been offered up on multiple occasions along with my mom, her mom, anything possible to share or relieve the burden.

Ok. Well, is there another way she could feel more supported?. Have you asked her? Is the travel a permanent situation? Is there another way for you both to structure life so it feels more balanced for both of you? Realize I’m not saying you’re doing anything wrong. But if there’s discontent maybe there something that can be shifted. Or at least counseling could be considered.

My partner travels a lot. I solo parent more than half the year. I do not love it, I don’t blame him but when he’s able to shift off work travel in another year out marriage will function much better. He doesn’t make gobs money so we aren’t getting a big financial benefit from his being away. It’s not much more $$ than a local job. I’d be thrilled to have support and a speck of free time when he’s away.

My point, in a moment of calm ask what her concerns or challenges are.