Any Religious Parents in DCPS Because it feels like the "Just" Thing to Do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t live in DC but I don’t agree with PPs criticizing OP. I think it’s a nice thing when people that have better options choose to send their kids to public school. All the chides about “gracing” the schools with her presence and implying OP’s thoughts are racist are ignoring real issues with struggling public schools. Those schools could benefit from buy in from higher income parents that can donate to the PTA. And studies show schools with concentrated poverty suffer.

Isn't it good that OP is choosing to integrate/help deconcentrate poverty? Don’t people that choose to go private or option get vilified for fleeing/opting out? Is every choice made by UMC parents automatically racist and terrible?

You have made a lot of assumptions. She doesn't say what her income is or which DCPS school she is fulfilling her Christian obligation through. Since you aren't in DC you may not know that all DCPS schools aren't the same, nor are they all high poverty.

[Anonymous]

Not religious, but the ethics does weigh on the decision. We try to make a difference there benefitting more than just our own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not religious, but the ethics does weigh on the decision. We try to make a difference there benefitting more than just our own kids.

I also think you struck a nerve with some of these PPs!

[Anonymous]

OP, I don’t think that you are alone in your intentions, although though some families may express it as an ethical responsibility or civic duty rather than a religious obligation. And of course, some families may opt to pay religious school tuition while supporting g public schools with their taxes.

[Anonymous]

OP please don't judge people's attitudes from the trolls on this forum. Share who you are in the world.

[Anonymous]

If the school has no waitlist and you play a big role in parent involvement, sure. But just showing up to free preschool and not doing much else is not really moving the needle. These schools do not lack for high-SES preschoolers. If anything, you are displacing a more needy preschooler. Stick with it through 3rd and then you can feel ethical.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not religious, but the ethics does weigh on the decision. We try to make a difference there benefitting more than just our own kids.

Same here. You’ve struck a nerve here but I feel the same way.

[Anonymous]

No. I rather my kids went to private school. But $

[Anonymous]

Very Christian family also very involved in the community outside of school. We were determined to send our kids to DCPS. Then I started working there and saw how the staff treated kids when no parents were around and are now seriously reconsidering. I have no advice other than to say we also felt our faith called us to be involved in the community where we lived.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to go out on a limb and put this out here, mostly because DCUM is anonymous. I know in liberal DC (we're liberal, just also religious Christians) talk of religious stuff is kind of taboo.
BUT
Here's the thing - we made a decision to be committed to DCPS and the sometimes-difficult integration it requires out of a sense of Christian obligation, the idea that getting what's best for me is not actually what I'm supposed to be doing in life. (And I can imagine many others feeling a similar ethical calling regardless of faith tradition, or altruistic humanists, etc.)

I don't ask this to denigrate anyone's choices - but is there anyone out there like us? Who decided rather than some episcopal day school or Catholic school that might teach religion, that being a good neighbor meant actually trying to work alongside your neighbors to make DCPS all that it can be?

Just a question, not a criticism of anyone. (Sometimes it just feels kind of like there is no one out there in DC like us, and I wonder if that is true.)

Anecdotally I think a lot of parents I know in DCPS feel this way.
(1) The schools aren't going to improve unless all kinds of neighbors keep their kids in them and
(2) My experience as a child going to school with people of all socioeconomic classes was formational for me. It is clear to me that some of the political elite have never met a poor person and do not know what it is like to not have $400 to fix your car if it breaks down. I want my kids to be exposed to people from more walks of life than just 'upper middle class' and understand how others live.

[Anonymous]

I think some of the pushback is from the sense that the way OP frames it is a bit like "the social betters should sacrifice by sending their kids to these schools, because they are a gift to these schools." It smacks a bit of a savior complex.

The best good works aren't doing things "for" people, but doing things "with" people. I am religious, and I do think that many people do have the attitude that they should do what's "best" for their children and screw everyone else. (Often with a pretty narrow view of what's "best.") What's best for my kid is to go to a school where she's safe and can learn, but also where she can learn with and be friends with kids outside her little slice of the world, and learn how to get long with people who aren't from the same race or class or country as she is. That's valuable for her as a person, and as a citizen, and in her future work.

And my religious beliefs also teach me not to make decisions out of fear, but out of love and in trust. I'm not supposed to hoard the good things in life, but be willing to share them and recognize that the more we share, the more there is to share. The loaves and the fishes multiply, and there is enough to feed everyone.

[Anonymous]

So, I'm liberal and religious.

And I send my kid to a charter.

For us, wanting our child to be in a diverse environment (not one of those kids in a rich bubble their whole lives) does play a part.

We chose charter rather than DCPS because it was a better fit for him.

As a child of an extremely Catholic mom with a major martyr complex, I will say that I hope you put your own child's needs before those of the neighbor's children. You're the only mom they have. And they need that. They need to hear that you love them the most.

And also, I have some extremely religious friends who send their kids to private school. I don't judge them for it. We all make our own decisions.

[Anonymous]

I am conservative and religious (married to a liberal who is more religious than I am).

We send our kids to a DCPS elementary, but that is more based on our strong belief in Public Education. At various points in both of our careers we have been public educators, and we truly believe that the public education system is important, necessary, and sufficient for most kids.

That being said, I don't know if we will be able to stick to those beliefs when it comes to Middle School.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think some of the pushback is from the sense that the way OP frames it is a bit like "the social betters should sacrifice by sending their kids to these schools, because they are a gift to these schools." It smacks a bit of a savior complex.

The best good works aren't doing things "for" people, but doing things "with" people. I am religious, and I do think that many people do have the attitude that they should do what's "best" for their children and screw everyone else. (Often with a pretty narrow view of what's "best.") What's best for my kid is to go to a school where she's safe and can learn, but also where she can learn with and be friends with kids outside her little slice of the world, and learn how to get long with people who aren't from the same race or class or country as she is. That's valuable for her as a person, and as a citizen, and in her future work.

And my religious beliefs also teach me not to make decisions out of fear, but out of love and in trust. I'm not supposed to hoard the good things in life, but be willing to share them and recognize that the more we share, the more there is to share. The loaves and the fishes multiply, and there is enough to feed everyone.

I'm one of the first PPs and I agree with this. All of us, religious or not, should strive to be positive contributors to our communities. That requires participation, engagement (two different things), listening, and respecting other's views, and thinking not only of our own needs and priorities all the time. OP came off like Leona Helmsley - as if her deigning to just participate is transformative and worthy of praise.

[Anonymous]

This is an interesting perspective to me. As a Catholic, I send my children to Catholic school, I was sent to Catholic school, my parents went to Catholic school, my GRANDparents went to Catholic school.

Originally, the Catholic schools were started because of the overt anti-Catholicism in this country against Catholics.

Today, we choose to send our children to Catholic school because we want them to be surrounded by a community who shares our morals and values, and to teach our children that religion is not something that just occurs one hour a week, in church. It is everyday, a fabric of our daily lives.

As a Catholic parent, I feel it is part of my responsibility -- and I will be called to answer for this someday -- to do my best to train up my children in the Catholic faith as well, to pass down my faith. I feel the best way to do this is to make the financial sacrifice to pay more $$ to send my kids to a Catholic school.