Do you fly separately from your spouse when traveling without the kids?

[Anonymous]

Nervous flyer here and yes I have thought about it but have decided against it as I don't want to give into my fears. I also realize how bad I would feel if my spouse's plane went down when he would have survived if he was with me. For what it's worth, I think I would be more uncomfortable with the idea of being somewhere where I couldn't drive back a la England or take a train if there were a national emergency-that bothers me more. Maybe go somewhere closer the first time you attempt this.

[Anonymous]

No. But the first time we traveled outside the country (Japan) together post-child, we drafted our will and made sure the guardianship was clear.

[Anonymous]

WE don't do it but my parents did.

[Anonymous]

the first time I heard about this was when the Air France from South America to Paris went down this summer, there was a family that had split up, daughter and father on one plane, mother and son on the other. It was gut wrenching, horrible and disturbing to think about this. The eventuality for which they had planned, happened. But why oh why do this? Unless you're under high pressure to keep a dynasty alive or sth of that nature? Like another poster wrote, what if all four had been on the safe plane instead? Wouldn't you just rather all live together or all die together?

[Anonymous]

I've known parents who started out this way but dropped it because it was a nightmare to coordinate. Use it as motivation to get your will done (if you don't have one)! Thats what we did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:the first time I heard about this was when the Air France from South America to Paris went down this summer, there was a family that had split up, daughter and father on one plane, mother and son on the other. It was gut wrenching, horrible and disturbing to think about this. The eventuality for which they had planned, happened. But why oh why do this? Unless you're under high pressure to keep a dynasty alive or sth of that nature? Like another poster wrote, what if all four had been on the safe plane instead? Wouldn't you just rather all live together or all die together?

OP here. That is an awful story. I actually hadn't thought of it the way you described and of course if we were all traveling together we would take the same plane. The question was more do people do that when they are traveling without their kids. Sounds like a few do, but not most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nervous flyer here and yes I have thought about it but have decided against it as I don't want to give into my fears. I also realize how bad I would feel if my spouse's plane went down when he would have survived if he was with me. For what it's worth, I think I would be more uncomfortable with the idea of being somewhere where I couldn't drive back a la England or take a train if there were a national emergency-that bothers me more. Maybe go somewhere closer the first time you attempt this.

OP again. Thanks, you sound a lot like me and what you say makes sense. We will definitely plan on going somewhere where there are lots of flights back if need be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not the Queen of England, OP!

How do you know? This is an anonymous board after all!

In reality, I was not asking about this because I am planning on doing it, just that I was wondering how common it is. Seems like it does cross some peoples' minds, but when it comes down to it, not many people decide to fly separately.

[Anonymous]

I know someone who does this but I think it is totally bizarre. Why not live in separate houses in case you have a gas explosion or a sinkhole opens up and swallows your hosue? Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the first time I heard about this was when the Air France from South America to Paris went down this summer, there was a family that had split up, daughter and father on one plane, mother and son on the other. It was gut wrenching, horrible and disturbing to think about this. The eventuality for which they had planned, happened. But why oh why do this? Unless you're under high pressure to keep a dynasty alive or sth of that nature? Like another poster wrote, what if all four had been on the safe plane instead? Wouldn't you just rather all live together or all die together?

OP here. That is an awful story. I actually hadn't thought of it the way you described and of course if we were all traveling together we would take the same plane. The question was more do people do that when they are traveling without their kids. Sounds like a few do, but not most.

to OP: yes, that's a variation of it.... as far as without kids, meaning: "at least one of us has to stay alive for the child"... well, you are really thinking about odds here - thinking how highly unlikely it is that two planes would go down on the same day... but however unlikely - you just never know, imagine a mother and a father boarded separate planes out of Boston... and the date is sept 11th 2001... what i mean is that you just can't predict the future, don't drive yourself crazy! once you start sth like this you might become superstitious, and compelled to keep this up, and it's really too much torment about things out of your control. as odds go, as someone pointed out, it is much more common that a child would loose it's parents due to a car crash. now imagine another scenario: you and your husband traveled somewhere, your child is at home. now a disaster happens at your travel location, would you stay together or go separate routes? evacuate on the same bus/train/plane? you probably would stay together, right? you could argue the same way. i just don't think you can put true odds on these survival situations. just sth to think about. hope you figure out a way that puts you at ease. all we can do is enjoy life as much as we can!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nervous flyer here and yes I have thought about it but have decided against it as I don't want to give into my fears. I also realize how bad I would feel if my spouse's plane went down when he would have survived if he was with me. For what it's worth, I think I would be more uncomfortable with the idea of being somewhere where I couldn't drive back a la England or take a train if there were a national emergency-that bothers me more. Maybe go somewhere closer the first time you attempt this.

I feel this way too. DH and i honeymooned in Bora Bora, and even without kids I kind of felt isolated and kind of freaked out. Like, if something major happens, this is home. Then I realized how insane that was and had another champagne cocktail... Now that I have kids, something tells me the cocktail won't take the freakout away.

Hey, it's insane, but clearly I'm not the only one! In fact, it is VERY comforting to know that others get scared of these things, too.

[Anonymous]

My paternal Grandfather wanted my parents to do that when my sister and I were little. I don't think they ever actually did it, but it is something to think about.

Tangentially, when my German MIL was dating my FIL, when she was flying back to Germany from the States, my FIL's mother asked if she could take a life insurance policy out on her in case something happened on the flight over! Apparently people used to do this quite a bit years ago. How on earth do you respond to that one!