Raising smart kids

[Anonymous]

Read books to your baby from birth. Talk and narrate. Sing. Yes, intelligence is genetic but there is so much you can do to maximize potential. I like baby classes, too - my kids learned so much from watching other kids.

[Anonymous]

Listen to npr and classical music. Explain things all the time. Use big words and explain. Enjoy good books together. Push them but be generous with praise when they do well. Expose them to all kinds of activities. Take them to the museums and talk about the exhibits. Involve them in household decisions. Express how proud of them you are. Teach them to treat others with kindness. Show them the ways in which they’re privileged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have six kids like this. I am pretty sure it's genetic.

My first two kids watched hours of tv every day, from like, birth until kindergarten. Then when I got older and learned, I cut down on tv. But they always had a lot of books.

The younger four had zero tv until 4 or 5 yrs old,and then minimal.

I don't solve problems for them. There's a lot of encouraging them to trust their gut, and to wonder why other people might have done or said what they did or said. There's a lot of "What do you think you should do?" and "How do you think your teacher would react if you asked that?"

I explain why I talk to different strangers. "Hey, there's our homeless neighbor William. Look for his shoes - he told me when he's feeling healthy, he wears shoes. So if he's not wearing them, that's not the day to say hi." "It's really hot - let's bring a couple of cold bottles of water for our homeless neighbors since they've been in the sun all day." "Those people have a map out and look lost - let's see if they need help."

lmao thanks for that!

[Anonymous]

We read to DS since he was a few months old. I use the same language with him that I do with my husband. I try and answer his questions when he asks them. Sometimes the answer is “I don’t know, let’s look it up.” My DH loves playing memory games with DS in the car. We have work books at home that he asks to do. We do actually have him do a work book during the summer, a few pages a day, before he can play games. We do limit screen time, no video games during the week and select shows or videos on TV. Right now he is watching Marble Olympic videos on YouTube and has been narrating his own videos on the morble runs he is building in the basement.

We make sure he is playing sports and involved in other activities. Right now he is loving Cub Scouts. Physical activity is just as important as mental activity. And we play a lot of board games (Ticket to Ride, Forbidden Desert, Forbidden Island, Sushi Go, King of Tokyo that type of thing.

Mostly we follow his lead and supplement what he is interested in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read books to your baby from birth. Talk and narrate. Sing. Yes, intelligence is genetic but there is so much you can do to maximize potential. I like baby classes, too - my kids learned so much from watching other kids.

No, don’t do this. You cannot will your child to be intelligent.
I do have the type of daughter OP is suggesting. Mild anxiety, but really manageable.

During pregnancy: de-stress! Maternal anxiety is passed on.

While baby/toddler: allow child to explore, climb, play with household objects. Do not say “be careful” all the time. Make SURE child is outside, playing in grass, dirt, garden, etc.

Toddler/preschooler: same. Read lots of picture books! Don’t rush into chapter books. Picture books are the best.
Encourage free, imaginative play. Do not intrude or come up with suggestions. Have tons of crafts, objects, and allow child to make things. Be ok with mess and dirt.

TV has never harmed child but she never used iPad and so didn’t get “addicted” to screen.

[Anonymous]

Mostly genes. Luckily she got the right mix from both parents. I didn't know how lucky I was until the second kid.

I don't think you can teach common sense. But one thing I did was give her plenty of responsibility and autonomy from the beginning.

[Anonymous]

Good genes and a stable environment. Be careful who you marry!

[Anonymous]

From birth to the age of 3, neuron pathways are being formed in response to stimulation. So read, talk, show, and interact with your child as much as u can from 0 to 3.

So nuture impacts nature.

[Anonymous]

Breastfeed!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have six kids like this. I am pretty sure it's genetic.

My first two kids watched hours of tv every day, from like, birth until kindergarten. Then when I got older and learned, I cut down on tv. But they always had a lot of books.

The younger four had zero tv until 4 or 5 yrs old,and then minimal.

I don't solve problems for them. There's a lot of encouraging them to trust their gut, and to wonder why other people might have done or said what they did or said. There's a lot of "What do you think you should do?" and "How do you think your teacher would react if you asked that?"

I explain why I talk to different strangers. "Hey, there's our homeless neighbor William. Look for his shoes - he told me when he's feeling healthy, he wears shoes. So if he's not wearing them, that's not the day to say hi." "It's really hot - let's bring a couple of cold bottles of water for our homeless neighbors since they've been in the sun all day." "Those people have a map out and look lost - let's see if they need help."

Wow, just wow. You are using homeless to meet your needs...

We have homeless people who literally live right on our block. They are our neighbors. Damn straight I am going to teach my kids, four of whom are old enough to go out without a parent, how to spot someone who is mentally unwell, and how to be kind to homeless people and let them feel human.

[Anonymous]

How you interact with others, how you solve problems, and how you find joy shows them the way. That frames the picture - their own drive and "smarts" will fill the frame.

[Anonymous]

My kids are pretty young but my friend from high school has 4 amazing kids aged 15, 15, 17 and 19. When they were little she was completely overwhelmed with babies, toddlers, pre-schoolers. She was so overwhelmed she made them very self reliant early (they had to learn to dress themselves at a young age, make themselves a sandwich, take care of their homework themselves, get themselves to swimming practice, etc.) A lot of the time the kids were a mess. They showed up at swimming practice without a towel or missing one sock. People definitely judged the parents since the kids seemed like a mess.

Now they are such independent, mature, kind and thoughtful kids. The two older ones work part-time (the oldest started his own small business). The oldest is a stem major at a great university and the second oldest was admitted to a stem program at a great university. The twins are doing very well too. I love spending time with those kids and I hope mine turn out just like them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Breastfeed!

Nope! Really doesn’t have anything to do with building “smarts” —

I nursed one, formula fed the other.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I are probably considered “smart” or at least “well educated.” I’m sure we can do things better but fwiw here’s what we do.

I read to each kid individually every night before bed starting at birth and will continue as long as they’ll let me. My oldest is 9 and we are still going strong.
I try really hard for us to eat dinner together every night and I try really hard to get the kids good sleep (not staying out too late, etc.)

For common sense, I think that is where free play comes in and I do believe in free play. I think it’s ok for kids to be bored and to figure out what to do then. I think kids learn common sense from their own mistakes and not from parents solving all their problems for them.

In terms of hard work, I really do believe that 90% of success is just showing up. I stress effort, not giving up, etc. I stress that everyone has strengths and weaknesses and you can learn from everyone.

In terms of character I’m sure it helps to set a good example as a parent. But you can also praise good character when you see your kids doing it too. With sports I praise good sportsmanship and not winning or losing etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Breastfeed!

Nope! Really doesn’t have anything to do with building “smarts” —

I nursed one, formula fed the other.

Well, since you've done a scientifically rigorous study!

(NP and I understand the available research doesn't prove causality, but this "I had two kids and they turned out the same, QED," is totally ridiculous no matter to what it's applied.)