“Grooming” young children - what are the signs to watch for? How to protect them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read "Protecting the Gift" by Gavin de Becker. I'm surprised that this is not the first response!

Summary of this book (which I found useless): trust your gut. The end.
Expanded explanation of Summary: your gut is your subconscious. Your subconscious picks up on things your conscious mind doesn't, like a van with the engine running and the sliding door partially open parked right near your car, facing outward. Your gut will just get uncomfortable seeing that but your conscious mind won't know why. If you trust your gut and go back into the building to get a security guard to escort you to your car, it's because you listened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, what I would be more concerned about is the "grooming" of parents--as in the case of Michael Jackson. MJ groomed the parents to the point where the parents had convinced themselves that MJ was too wonderful to ever harm their little boys.

I was listening to an NPR story on the Michael Jackson film on HBO and it was mentioned that it was a "good" film to see examples of grooming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She seemed very comfortable getting physically close with a male she had not really been around before. It just illustrates that in a different environment, what if she did that innocently with a different stranger and were harmed? how do you empower them so certain kids that have certain outgoing, cuddly, warm and social personalities aren’t taken advantage of by sick people.

But honestly? That is one small, minor illustration in a much bigger point I’m making in seeking general info for ALL parents. No one really talks about it just the horrors of an aftermath..

That one point is NOT the focus of my post so I don’t want this thread to derail to a discussion focused on that small piece.

I once went to a relative's house, where mutual cousins were visiting. I'd been seeing the kids grow up via Facebook, but we'd never met before. The kids were 3, 6, and 9. When the relative asked me to walk the dog, the 9 yr old came running and asked if she could come with me. I said if it's okay with your mom, yes. She ran off to get permission. Off we went for a walk around a neighborhood in a city she'd never been to before. Nobody blinked. I did the right thing. There's nothing wrong with your DD trusting someone introduced to her as a family member. She didn't go off into a bathroom to take a bath with an older male cousin. She just sat in his lap. You probably made that cousin feel like shit.

Why are you so rude? I didn’t say how I redirected her - nor what I did. Nor did I give any context. You’ve created an entire false narrative in your head, based on your experience, and a few incorrect assumptions. That said, since that tidbit isn’t the focus, and I already have helpful info, i won’t discuss that any further. The other suggestions I pretty much follow already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She seemed very comfortable getting physically close with a male she had not really been around before. It just illustrates that in a different environment, what if she did that innocently with a different stranger and were harmed? how do you empower them so certain kids that have certain outgoing, cuddly, warm and social personalities aren’t taken advantage of by sick people.

But honestly? That is one small, minor illustration in a much bigger point I’m making in seeking general info for ALL parents. No one really talks about it just the horrors of an aftermath..

That one point is NOT the focus of my post so I don’t want this thread to derail to a discussion focused on that small piece.

I once went to a relative's house, where mutual cousins were visiting. I'd been seeing the kids grow up via Facebook, but we'd never met before. The kids were 3, 6, and 9. When the relative asked me to walk the dog, the 9 yr old came running and asked if she could come with me. I said if it's okay with your mom, yes. She ran off to get permission. Off we went for a walk around a neighborhood in a city she'd never been to before. Nobody blinked. I did the right thing. There's nothing wrong with your DD trusting someone introduced to her as a family member. She didn't go off into a bathroom to take a bath with an older male cousin. She just sat in his lap. You probably made that cousin feel like shit.

Why are you so rude? I didn’t say how I redirected her - nor what I did. Nor did I give any context. You’ve created an entire false narrative in your head, based on your experience, and a few incorrect assumptions. That said, since that tidbit isn’t the focus, and I already have helpful info, i won’t discuss that any further. The other suggestions I pretty much follow already.

I wasn't rude. I was blunt. You feel guilty, which is why you are calling me rude and defending yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Actually, what I would be more concerned about is the "grooming" of parents--as in the case of Michael Jackson. MJ groomed the parents to the point where the parents had convinced themselves that MJ was too wonderful to ever harm their little boys.

I don’t understand this concept or the larger point you’re attempting to illustrate with this at all. You’re saying to be vigilant against parent attitudes towards their children? What do Michael Jackson or R Kelly’s parental role to a grown man have to do with anything as it pertains to this discussion?

If you haven't been reading about or seen the MJ documentary "Leaving Neverland," there is a lot about how MJ basically won the trust of parents, which eased his ability to prey on children. Psychologists refer to this as "grooming" the parents because once a pedophile has won the trust of a child's parents, the parents permit the pedophile unsupervised access, and even sleepovers. Priests, teachers (like that teacher from Beauvoir), and stars like MJ manipulated children's parents into believing that entrusting the children in their care was in the best interest of the child.

Thank you for explaining that. I had never considered that before, and I have not followed the documentaries. This is very sad.

[Anonymous]

The BSA, Boy Scouts, website has a youth training protection video training program that is very good. They have a 15-30 minute vieo on sexual abuse and grooming by adults and older kids. You can watch that. It does a nice job of showing you what grooming of the parents and kids looks like.