Only child conundrum—bored and driving me crazy!

[Anonymous]

My suggestion to you is to do what I did, as the single parent to a high energy chatterbox of an only child:

Pull her into your activities. Teach her to fold laundry. Have her dry what you hand wash in the kitchen. Why isn't she helping?

[Anonymous]

I'd put that kid to work. 8 years old is old enough to help you clean up after dinner, do dishes, fold laundry, whatever you need really.

[Anonymous]

Assign her chores so she is helping with the household stuff. It could be cleaning her room, folding her clothes, putting her clothes away (stuff that you don’t have to see so won’t drive you crazy if they are not done the right way). She is old enough to vacuum.

I am not an only parent but I do have an only child. I love play dates. At least one on the weekend. I don’t care if his friends come over for 3-5 hours because they entertain themselves and I can do what I need to do or relax a bit.

I like the idea of specific 1 on 1 time doing what she wants for a set time and then she needs to play by herself. If she asks for more time then she can help you with chores.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If she's bored she can do chores. Seriously. I helped mom vacuum and mop and wash bathrooms at that agenand wasn't excused from it on Saturdays.
Have a chore list in a jar. I'm sure she'll come up with something to do fast.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a single mom too, and my son is also extroverted.

What helped the absolute most was after we got home, spending 5-10 minutes doing something WITH him, that he chose. He set the rules, we talked about what he wanted to talk about, we built what he wanted, WHATEVER. But I filled that bucket of mom-attention up and then he was content to do his own thing for a few hours.

Also, catch her doing "good" things when you're otherwise engaged. While you're doing laundry and she's reading - make a comment like, "oh I loved that book! I love seeing you read it" or something similar when she's doing legos, or coloring, or whatever. Then her attention bucket will stay full and she'll be more likely to stay content doing her own thing.

This strategy helps me to, just letting her pick a game together for 10 minutes when we get home helps her chill out. My 8 year old just came home from a birthday party, and the first thing out of her mouth was "is anyone coming over today?" so you are not alone. I try to be thankful that she is such a people person, I have a lot of friends who stress because their kids have trouble making friends or getting alone in groups, it is nice to have a kid who is friendly and good with people.

[Anonymous]

(1) Make sure you guys have some consistent, un-begrudged one-on-one time, where she gets your attention and you enjoy some activity together, even if that's just a card game or something.

(2) Let her know when that time will be, and stick to that.

(3) Involve her in those chores. She can fold laundry, wash dishes, etc. That is also together time, in a different sense. But I remember some nice moments with my mom when we were cooking dinner together, etc. Bonus--I learned some life/household management skills.

[Anonymous]

-Household chores - she's old enough to learn and help

-Reading for 30 minutes a day - every time she stops and comes to find you/talk to you, the clock re-starts. If not reading, a quiet, solo activity like puzzles, drawing etc.

[Anonymous]

Hang up a calendar with the weeks’ agenda and fill it out with her on Sundays. That way she knows what is coming, can ask questions and you guys can make plans for anything extra. It also allows you to really hear her thoughts about what goes on and gives her the chance to ask for extra mom time, if she needs it.

So many chores for this age:

Have her select and set aside her outfits for each day
Set the table for the morning
Pack her lunch for the morning
Put away dishes
Help with laundry
Cleaning out the fridge
Vacuum

Some chores can just be her own contribution and others can be tied to a game or activity (at home) that she picks. Another option is a weekly chore chart leading up to earning screen time or a larger activity.

Growing up, daring to utter I’m bored meant an immediate offering of a chore or option to go find something to do independently. If she manages school without an aide she is more than capable of understanding you are not a party clown and that she needs to occupy herself, or join you in household tasks.

[Anonymous]

Please don’t feel guilty that she’s an only child and so you feel obligated to entertain her! That is to her detriment.

She needs to respect your alone time. You should schedule a one-hour block of “alone time” for mom. Put in on the calendar. Daily. In that time she can watch TV or read or play dolls or do crafts or whatever. She absolutely needs downtime activities she can do w/out you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Op, assign her tasks, chores. Go go go ... get things done.

I was going to suggest the same. Set up a chore chart and let her help you clean up in the evening, thus freeing up more time for you to hang out with her. At 8, there should be plenty of stuff she can do/contribute.

[Anonymous]

Single mom here, DC wants my attention ALL the time. And is go go go. I'm not. I'm low-energy. It's difficult. I did explain to him that sometimes I need down time and unless I have it, I'm not good to keep going. He's starting to get it. I also involve him in the chores. We get up and load the dishwasher and vacuum together, etc.