I’ve never made love with my husband

[Anonymous]

OP, please go read the book, “Come as You Are.” It’s the best book out there (I think) about female sexuality. There is a very wide range of what is considered “normal” and it can be freeing to know that so that you can help shape your sex life to meet your and your husband’s needs and desires.

I’ve never cried happy tears during sex, but for me, I don’t know why I would want to. You may have different needs and expectations you should explore.

[Anonymous]

I rarely feel emotionally close during sex but I think you get an afterglow of good feelings.

I feel most deeply in love with my DH when he does something to help me and when we sleep in on a lazy morning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tears? Why the hell would you cry?

No like happy tears.

Do you read a lot of those Harlequin Romance Novels? I've had sex thousands of times and never cried tears of happiness. One time I tried anal and there were tears because I got a tear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tears? Why the hell would you cry?

No like happy tears.

Ew. God if my husband ever cried, that would be SUCH a turnoff.

[Anonymous]

Happy tears? Just...no. I’m 48 and have never done this, and hope never to do do this.

[Anonymous]

Other than Happy Tears (tm) what constitutes lovemaking for you? Have you initiated this fantasy scenario? I suspect that if it’s strongly romantic as opposed to erotic, you need to give your DH some direction.

DH, what I want is for you to lift me up and carry me to the bed. I want you to say things like I worship you and You fulfill me. I want us to come together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, please go read the book, “Come as You Are.” It’s the best book out there (I think) about female sexuality. There is a very wide range of what is considered “normal” and it can be freeing to know that so that you can help shape your sex life to meet your and your husband’s needs and desires.

I’ve never cried happy tears during sex, but for me, I don’t know why I would want to. You may have different needs and expectations you should explore.

+1 on the book. Emily Nagoski is the author.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tears? As in something being torn? That's probably a good thing.

Thanks for my first laugh of the day!!

[Anonymous]

I love the physical closeness of sex with my DH but I’m not sure about “making love”. The physical need I have for sex can be intense and when it’s really intense I feel incredibly in charge and in control. When I get that way my husband really responds and he will always do whatever I desire. Maybe that’s a crazy definition of making love!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tears? As in something being torn? That's probably a good thing.

Thanks for my first laugh of the day!!

+1. I howeled!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sex yes. But it always feels...physical. No deep connection or tears.

Is this normal?

It is physical! Just watch how other animals/mammals do it. I love my husband and I have many ways of showing it and I love having sex with him but it’s a physical calling more than an emotional one. Don’t over think it, just enjoy it and be creative. When I suggest something new I’m not thinking about love I’m thinking about pleasure. The nuns from my grammar school would be shocked!

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me think of that Tim McGraw/Faith Hill song "Lets Make Love". Have you been watching that video lately, perchance, Op?

[Anonymous]

I never made love to my ex husband - married 19 years. I never felt safe. I totally make love to my new husband!

[Anonymous]

I have never made love either then... thankfully... why would I want to cry? Maybe I need more drama in my life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tears? Why the hell would you cry?

No like happy tears.

Is that a thing?

Sometimes. But it's rare.