Does anyone actually love their in laws and extended family?

[Anonymous]

I adore my in-laws. I mostly like them more than my own family. They are stable and kind, and treat me (and call me) one of their daughters. My sister-in-law is a decade younger than I am, and she feels to me like another little sister (I have 2 sisters).

[Anonymous]

Yes. I was raised very cold and they are very warm. If my husband would sit in my MIL's lap it would make her day. He talks to them almost daily. Their whole extended family is like this. When DH's uncle died at 90, DH and all his cousins stood around and they quickly created a schedule of who would call the aunt which days, and who would send which kind of food on which days. They rally around each other in this beautiful way, and they don't do drama.

[Anonymous]

Curious to those who are saying that they love their extended family whether you actually feel love or whether its just something you say if you like them and enjoy being around them -sort of like saying I love chocolate. I think there is difference between liking your extended family and having a close enough relationship that you would call it love.

[Anonymous]

I love my in-laws and like them too. They are all great people. I've stayed very close to all of them throughout our 20+ year marriage. I have my own relationships with them and am probably closer to his extended family than he is. But he's very close with his sister. I like her and we get along fine, but they are closer.

[Anonymous]

Nope. If they tried even 1/10 as much as I have to get to j so then, accommodate their quirks and desires when visit, knowing anything about my family...then maybe I’d care. It it’s been 29 years and they may as well have found me on the street yesterday for as much as they know/care abut me.

[Anonymous]

With mine, what you see is what you get. They are 100% real, kind and loving. I’ve known them more than 20 years now and they have always welcomed me with open arms. I don’t have to second-guess their communication or their behavior. They put their grandkids first and are very nurturing.

[Anonymous]

My dad adores my husband.

I can't stand my MIL but am pretty close to the rest of my husband's family, especially some of his aunts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious to those who are saying that they love their extended family whether you actually feel love or whether its just something you say if you like them and enjoy being around them -sort of like saying I love chocolate. I think there is difference between liking your extended family and having a close enough relationship that you would call it love.

I actually love them. Maybe not at first but DH and I have been together for almost a decade and they have been warm and welcome and loving to me since day 1. By the time we were married I loved them. Not the same way as my immediate family but not at all like I like chocolate. And my nieces and nephews I do love as if they were my own blood and always will.

[Anonymous]

I adore my in laws. Wish they had raised me, but lucky to have them now. Bil and sil are amazing people that we visit all the time. I have so much respect for the love and kindness that is shown by the in laws.

Extended? Depends on the person, just like any other situation.

Lots of people grow up in dysfunction, seek out better and either make their own families, or marry into something healthier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have several extended in-law relatives that seem to act like the minute you joined the family they love you and you are expected to love them. They kiss, smooch , say we love you, expect your kids to love them. It recently occurred to me that I have never once felt any type of "love" for any of them. I don't dislike them. I'm fine spending time with them. I don't get into the drama. I love my nuclear family but the extended ones are all more in the acquaintance category for me especially the ones that we see at most once or twice a year. I mentioned this to a friend and she laughed saying that no one " actually loves the extended relatives.

Beats having cold, closed, judgy and b*tchy ILs, no?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I adore my in laws. Wish they had raised me, but lucky to have them now. Bil and sil are amazing people that we visit all the time. I have so much respect for the love and kindness that is shown by the in laws.

Extended? Depends on the person, just like any other situation.

Lots of people grow up in dysfunction, seek out better and either make their own families, or marry into something healthier.

x100000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: With mine, what you see is what you get. They are 100% real, kind and loving. I’ve known them more than 20 years now and they have always welcomed me with open arms. I don’t have to second-guess their communication or their behavior. They put their grandkids first and are very nurturing.

+1

LOVE big, warm and welcoming families. The cold, closed ones? You can keep them. I think sometimes the latter thinks the former are "fake" because the latter has no personality or warmth.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I love my in-laws and my wife loves my family. Our families are very, very different and each has their own quirks and issues. We have family stress due to those issues, but we genuinely all love each other. I think there are many people who love and get along with their in-laws but you don't hear as much about them because most of us don't have in-law issues to post about. So you hear more from the people with complaints who are either venting or need advice about how to cope with their in-laws.

[Anonymous]

My MIL is awesome, as is her husband (DH's step-father). He was very close with one set of extended relatives growing up, and I really like them a lot, too. I'd happily hang out with them absent the family connection.

The rest of them range from harmless to stay the f away from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Curious to those who are saying that they love their extended family whether you actually feel love or whether its just something you say if you like them and enjoy being around them -sort of like saying I love chocolate. I think there is difference between liking your extended family and having a close enough relationship that you would call it love.

Definitely love. These people have been part of my life longer than they've not been in it, so that's one part of it, the fact that I have known them so long.