Pressure to stay friends with an old “mom friend” -

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean, she is a person who is giving full time 24/7 care to a dying parent and has a rocky marriage and moved 2 hours from her social scene. And she has young kids. That has to be isolating and exhausting. You are not responsible for her, but it does seem like she has a lot on her plate, so I can see why she is pushy to try and maintain anything that feels safe and enjoyable to her. If you are not interested, nbd. But, if you like her and want to be a support to someone who is clearly going through a tough time, you give her three times that work for you. You dictate more of the terms. If they don’t work, you tried.

This. Or have her go to Target with you or Wegmans and you sit down for 20 min for coffee.

I work very part time also and very rarely meet people for coffee.

Throw the poor mom a pity coffee.

[Anonymous]

If I were you, I would offer to call or Skype instead. It sounds like it would be hard to meet up in person, but it also sounds like she could really use some support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, she is a person who is giving full time 24/7 care to a dying parent and has a rocky marriage and moved 2 hours from her social scene. And she has young kids. That has to be isolating and exhausting. You are not responsible for her, but it does seem like she has a lot on her plate, so I can see why she is pushy to try and maintain anything that feels safe and enjoyable to her. If you are not interested, nbd. But, if you like her and want to be a support to someone who is clearly going through a tough time, you give her three times that work for you. You dictate more of the terms. If they don’t work, you tried.

This. Or have her go to Target with you or Wegmans and you sit down for 20 min for coffee.

I work very part time also and very rarely meet people for coffee.

Throw the poor mom a pity coffee.

This is OP and I agree. I don’t want her to feel alone. It’s kist awkward until we meet I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean, she is a person who is giving full time 24/7 care to a dying parent and has a rocky marriage and moved 2 hours from her social scene. And she has young kids. That has to be isolating and exhausting. You are not responsible for her, but it does seem like she has a lot on her plate, so I can see why she is pushy to try and maintain anything that feels safe and enjoyable to her. If you are not interested, nbd. But, if you like her and want to be a support to someone who is clearly going through a tough time, you give her three times that work for you. You dictate more of the terms. If they don’t work, you tried.

This, x1,000

Maybe she can't talk from her house, given her terminally ill parent is in the house, and perhaps her partner is, too, and she can't talk where he/she can overhear. If she's willing to drive TWO HOURS to meet with you, then I'd do it. Have her come to the house with her child - and your child doesn't have to be there. Her child can play with your child's toys while you chat. OR have your kid there if you think that would make it easier - your child is a 3 year old, and could for sure take a morning off preschool for this. But if your child is difficult or has a hard time sharing, then perhaps you have your child stay in school and her child can just play in another room while you chat. If she's suggesting an afternoon playdate, your child could come home early to have fun with a friend.

But I'd make it happen, this once, then see where you go from there. Introverts can still be friends, friendly, and helpful to one another!

[Anonymous]

Lord, PP. My child isn’t difficult and doesn’t have a hard time sharing, thanks. WTF? I’m an introvert with friends and my friends are people. I’ve hung out with more than literally 4 times in total, and with more recent contact than we’ve had. That being written I don’t want her to be really lonely if she is, so.

[Anonymous]

OP, so what did it end up being? MLM?

[Anonymous]

No, OP here. I made a future date. She has a trust. No suspicion on my part it’s MLM.