Wives: Can you fall in love with your husband again?

[Anonymous]

Nope. He's a layabout whose lifestyle was considerably improved by our marriage. He's a drip who has no enthusiasm or joy in life. I put my energy into my friends. He does the same.

[Anonymous]

My husband was never interested in sex. I think he's gay.

[Anonymous]

He's a selfless and gentle lover...vanilla sex

I need hotter, raw, manly, take me sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's a selfless and gentle lover...vanilla sex

I need hotter, raw, manly, take me sex

Have you actually, you know, TOLD him this? Or is he supposed to just figure it out on his own?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's a selfless and gentle lover...vanilla sex

I need hotter, raw, manly, take me sex

Have you actually, you know, TOLD him this? Or is he supposed to just figure it out on his own?

It doesn't matter at this point. Now that she's used to boring vanilla sex, if he suddenly tried to go caveman she'd reject it as inauthentic. She could never un-see the boring side of him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I have fallen in and out of love with my husband a few times already.

same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's a selfless and gentle lover...vanilla sex

I need hotter, raw, manly, take me sex

Have you actually, you know, TOLD him this? Or is he supposed to just figure it out on his own?

It doesn't matter at this point. Now that she's used to boring vanilla sex, if he suddenly tried to go caveman she'd reject it as inauthentic. She could never un-see the boring side of him.

I'm the poster you're replying to...yes I have hinted numerous times. In the past, I'd initiate. Nothing crazy, just climb on top and say, I don't need you to love me right now, just **** me or walk by and say, please make me *** or drop to my knees.

He's not a boring man. He's hilariously funny, laid back, great dad, though not at all spontaneous. Maybe a madonna/whore complex? Most of my past mates were similar. Think porcelain doll handling. Of course it's not a bad thing to be treated respectfully and with an odd level of "in love" type of sex. But...there was that one!

[Anonymous]

Yes I've fallen out of and back into love with my husband. Mostly we struggled during the pregnancy and nursing years. He really needed more sex and struggled emotionally and was grouchy, I tried to meet his needs, but it was hard. Opening up our marriage really revived the passion and my sex drive, and brought us closer. We communicate better, discuss our needs and feelings better. I love my husband and never felt like he was lacking, but it was stale and hard for one person to meet all of each other's needs plus have hot sex while changing diapers all day. Now I can go out with other people and enjoy them and feel butterflies again, and it reminds me of all those feelings I had for him too and we get to feel all of that together as well. I enjoy amd care about my other partner too, but it doesn't detract from my love for my husband, just like I have 3 kids and manage to have different relationships with each of them, but love them each deeply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's a selfless and gentle lover...vanilla sex

I need hotter, raw, manly, take me sex

Have you actually, you know, TOLD him this? Or is he supposed to just figure it out on his own?

It doesn't matter at this point. Now that she's used to boring vanilla sex, if he suddenly tried to go caveman she'd reject it as inauthentic. She could never un-see the boring side of him.

I'm the poster you're replying to...yes I have hinted numerous times. In the past, I'd initiate. Nothing crazy, just climb on top and say, I don't need you to love me right now, just **** me or walk by and say, please make me *** or drop to my knees.

He's not a boring man. He's hilariously funny, laid back, great dad, though not at all spontaneous. Maybe a madonna/whore complex? Most of my past mates were similar. Think porcelain doll handling. Of course it's not a bad thing to be treated respectfully and with an odd level of "in love" type of sex. But...there was that one!

How do you treat him? I have always been upfront that I am not a delicate flower and I don’t need to be handled with kid gloves. I bite and nibble and ask for spankings too. All in good fun.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but I need him to need me. Right now I don't think he does.

Weve been together since 25, 27 (now, 45 and 47) and he has grown considerably hotter. Like, he was a normal cute guy at first but has progressed into, I don't know what to call it. He's got this George Clooney-at-45- appeal that just cuts to the bone. I see other women drooling over him. I've aged OK (mostly didn't get fat) but men don't look at me like women look at him. Maybe that's just how nature treats us but I don't like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I've fallen out of and back into love with my husband. Mostly we struggled during the pregnancy and nursing years. He really needed more sex and struggled emotionally and was grouchy, I tried to meet his needs, but it was hard. Opening up our marriage really revived the passion and my sex drive, and brought us closer. We communicate better, discuss our needs and feelings better. I love my husband and never felt like he was lacking, but it was stale and hard for one person to meet all of each other's needs plus have hot sex while changing diapers all day. Now I can go out with other people and enjoy them and feel butterflies again, and it reminds me of all those feelings I had for him too and we get to feel all of that together as well. I enjoy amd care about my other partner too, but it doesn't detract from my love for my husband, just like I have 3 kids and manage to have different relationships with each of them, but love them each deeply.

How did you make this work? We’re you always on the same page about open marriage? Or was this a new idea for you both?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but I need him to need me. Right now I don't think he does.

Weve been together since 25, 27 (now, 45 and 47) and he has grown considerably hotter. Like, he was a normal cute guy at first but has progressed into, I don't know what to call it. He's got this George Clooney-at-45- appeal that just cuts to the bone. I see other women drooling over him. I've aged OK (mostly didn't get fat) but men don't look at me like women look at him. Maybe that's just how nature treats us but I don't like it.

Lol, yeah right. The troll is back.

[Anonymous]

I have experienced serious betrayal from him and try to force myself to feel love for him but mostly feel numb. Everynight, I go straight to bed after tucking our kids in and force myself to go to sleep to avoid talking to him. As early as 8:30pm.

We are rarely intimate.

He doesn’t seem to miss me nor care.

One day, I will leave this hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is the thread about the husbands, and one about wives repulsed by the thought of sex with their husbands.

So have any of you wives who weren’t into their husbands found it again with them?

I think the husbands are fine with you finding it or not finding it as long as there is regular and good sex.

yes if he acted like an adult, got in better shape, and pulled his weight around the house and with family/kid stuff, absolutely. right now, Excuse and Setback City is not attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I've fallen out of and back into love with my husband. Mostly we struggled during the pregnancy and nursing years. He really needed more sex and struggled emotionally and was grouchy, I tried to meet his needs, but it was hard. Opening up our marriage really revived the passion and my sex drive, and brought us closer. We communicate better, discuss our needs and feelings better. I love my husband and never felt like he was lacking, but it was stale and hard for one person to meet all of each other's needs plus have hot sex while changing diapers all day. Now I can go out with other people and enjoy them and feel butterflies again, and it reminds me of all those feelings I had for him too and we get to feel all of that together as well. I enjoy amd care about my other partner too, but it doesn't detract from my love for my husband, just like I have 3 kids and manage to have different relationships with each of them, but love them each deeply.

We worked together and moved very very slowly. I'd say I (DW) pushed for it more, at one point DH seemed pretty uncomfortable so we reigned it in for awhile, but it just works so much better for us, especially since we've struggled a bit with mismatched sex drives (I became lower drive after years of marriage) but this made a huge difference and really reignited things between us.
How did you make this work? We’re you always on the same page about open marriage? Or was this a new idea for you both?