Do you get angry when your spouse "uses up" household products

[Anonymous]

I find this problem and ops solution weird and non adult like. We have a joint shopping list app that we put things on. Separate lists for grocery, Costco and household stuff. Dh does the Costco run so he always gets the paper goods, soaps, sponges and we always have one back up pack of whatever. I keep track of the shampoo, razors, toothpaste, other bathroom stuff and have a couple backups since I buy them on sale.
I suggest in your case you have an auto order on amazon or target etc and it'll just show up at a decent interval. That's wha we did when we had an apartment and couldn't store much.

[Anonymous]

That’s ridiculous. These items are meant to be used.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Most of these suggestions are helpful.
I guess that is what I would expect from her. She could try to remind me if I’m forgetting to replace certain things, or suggest a shared shopping list. Her solution is to tell me not to use stuff and/or hide it. That’s what I find problematic.

Why should she need to remind you? You are not s child. You use it upand see it’s gone put it on the grocery list. You know she likes cream in her coffee or whatever instead of using the last bit all the time be considerate and save it for her sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Me thinks she hides things because you have been inconsiderate about replacing items in the past.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Most of these suggestions are helpful.
I guess that is what I would expect from her. She could try to remind me if I’m forgetting to replace certain things, or suggest a shared shopping list. Her solution is to tell me not to use stuff and/or hide it. That’s what I find problematic.

You sound exhausting.

When my DH uses something up, he tells me and either picks up more himself, or if I'm going to the store that day I'll offer to get it. I don't need to remind him because he's a friggin' adult. If he consistently forgot to tell me or get more, yea, I'd hide things and tell him not to use it.

Would you treat a roommate this way? Probably not. If you would respect a roommate enough to replace things immediately, you need to give your wife that same respect.

[Anonymous]

Put it on a list, or let her know, when the product is starting to get low.

I solved this by buying more than we need from places like Costco, and putting it on the list to buy more as soon as the last one is in use.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Most of these suggestions are helpful.
I guess that is what I would expect from her. She could try to remind me if I’m forgetting to replace certain things, or suggest a shared shopping list. Her solution is to tell me not to use stuff and/or hide it. That’s what I find problematic.

You sound exhausting.

When my DH uses something up, he tells me and either picks up more himself, or if I'm going to the store that day I'll offer to get it. I don't need to remind him because he's a friggin' adult. If he consistently forgot to tell me or get more, yea, I'd hide things and tell him not to use it.

Would you treat a roommate this way? Probably not. If you would respect a roommate enough to replace things immediately, you need to give your wife that same respect.

OP here,
I grocery shop every week and have no problem restocking items. That doesn’t mean I have never used something and didn’t replace it immediately. So you have never planned to use a recipe and realized you forgot one item on the list? If not kudos to you.
As for a roommate, I wouldn’t use the roommates stuff without asking, but I also wouldn’t pay for housing, healthcare, and student loans for a room mate either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Most of these suggestions are helpful.
I guess that is what I would expect from her. She could try to remind me if I’m forgetting to replace certain things, or suggest a shared shopping list. Her solution is to tell me not to use stuff and/or hide it. That’s what I find problematic.

You sound exhausting.

When my DH uses something up, he tells me and either picks up more himself, or if I'm going to the store that day I'll offer to get it. I don't need to remind him because he's a friggin' adult. If he consistently forgot to tell me or get more, yea, I'd hide things and tell him not to use it.

Would you treat a roommate this way? Probably not. If you would respect a roommate enough to replace things immediately, you need to give your wife that same respect.

OP here,
I grocery shop every week and have no problem restocking items. That doesn’t mean I have never used something and didn’t replace it immediately. So you have never planned to use a recipe and realized you forgot one item on the list? If not kudos to you.
As for a roommate, I wouldn’t use the roommates stuff without asking, but I also wouldn’t pay for housing, healthcare, and student loans for a room mate either.

Your roommate probably didn’t carry your babies or screw you either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Most of these suggestions are helpful.
I guess that is what I would expect from her. She could try to remind me if I’m forgetting to replace certain things, or suggest a shared shopping list. Her solution is to tell me not to use stuff and/or hide it. That’s what I find problematic.

Err how old are you?? Why does someone need to remind you to remember something? Is she your personal assistant? Slave? And you can't suggest something yourself - she has to do it? I'm sure she finds it problematic how sexist and dumb you are.

[Anonymous]

After many years, and much frustration, we have a system that works for us! There is always an extra in the pantry (sometimes many extras of things we use often, like peanut butter). Whoever takes the last item out of the pantry (peanut butter, paper plates, can of whatever, flour, ANYTHING), that person puts the item on the shopping list. We haven't run out of something needed in ages.

If you finish something from the refrigerator or freezer (that there isn't an extra one of in the second refrigerator), you put it on the list AND tell the spouse, eg, I finished the eggs- they are on the list. This way the other person doesn't not know we are out.

I mostly do the shopping, but sometimes DH does. And when I am baking and run out of eggs or unsalted butter (seems to happen every year when I make Christmas cookies, even when I plan ahead - it seems I end up making extra of many), DH always runs to the store for me. In exchange, he gets to lick the beaters and bowls!

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should take it upon yourself to replace it when you are running low. You said she doesn’t remind you, but you are an adult. If you consistently use up the last of something without telling her and replacing it, of course she will be frustrated. Does she do the kids laundry? I know I would be very frustrated if DH used the last of the laundry detergent when our potty training toddler is on her last pair of underwear and I had planned to do her clothes later, only to find the soap gone. Before you use the rest of something, let her know.

[Anonymous]

Don't feed the troll.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to be in the caravan out of America.

[Anonymous]

We have a white board on the fridge with a shopping list. If anything is getting low (not out, but low), we put it on the list. We tend to buy extras, so if you take the last bar of soap, you put it on the list. If the laundry detergent bottle is light, you put it on the list. If there are only two eggs left when you take one, you put it on the list. Whenever anyone goes shopping (and we both shop, depending on who is doing that day), then we take a photo of the list on the fridge to take with us. When you put away groceries, you erase the things you bought. If for some reason, you didn't get something (like some products we buy are only at a certain store), then you leave it on the list for the next shopping run.

It works fine. I've also gotten to the store when I realized that I forgot the list or decide to stop at the store on the way home, then I text my wife and ask her to send me the list. She takes a photo and texts it to me and I have the shopping list. We keep recyclable shopping bags in both cars so we always have some for a trip if needed.

Try this. It works well since we alternate chores and there is no regular pattern to when we shop.

[Anonymous]

I'm the one in our household that uses things and forgets to replace it and it's a non issue. I think your spouse's reaction is a little weird. Item's are meant to be used.

How about a list somewhere in the kitchen, when you are out of something, write it down straight away. If you are like me having to remember it later or tell someone about it later, it just won't happen.

The thing that people need to remember if you are using the last of the laundry detergent then it was really really low when you used the last of it, so the spouse can't be angry over that. If the spouse used it the time before that it would have been low as well. If it grates the spouse that much then the spouse could make it a habit to buy things when they notice that things are half empty.

The other option is if you have room to buy in bulk for the items such as toilet paper and laundry detergent and other items you use constantly. Then you have a spare handy when you run out. You don't need it for everything but just those common items. We do this and it's helped us alot.