Would you expect a response from principal over weekend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you expect the school to do here? Sure, if part of Larla’s expulsion included her not being allowed to set foot on school grounds the school could talk to her parents about that, but that’s pretty much it. Anything Larla might do to your daughter outside of school has nothing to do with your daughter’s school anymore and they have no jurisdiction over it. Same goes if her mom were to file a lawsuit. Unfortunately I think you have to expect that part of the message you get back will probably be that your daughter should stay out of the situation, that if she encounters Larla at another event she should find a responsible adult and discreetly ask them to deal with it, and then not gossip about it further with other students because that can be interpreted as provoking/bullying.

Wow. This really makes out the DD to be in the wrong and she was not. "Gossip further...?" She wasn't gossiping with a student--she was scared and asking for help from an older student who was at the event in a kind of chaperone capacity. The idea that the DD could be seen as provoking or bullying is nuts.

OP is right to inform the principal. The principal does need to know that the expelled kid's parent walked up and spoke to a student the way she did. The parent was out of line and should never have brought the expelled student into the school. Even if the expulsion did not include "never set foot on school grounds" before (I suspect it did, as threats of death and rape were involved, PP). , the parent made the DD feel unsafe. This parent has another child at that school so is likely to be around school again; the principal should know that this parent may not control herself around students she thinks are talking about her child. Short version: Parent of expelled kid may tend to go mama bear so the school needs to watch out for her.

The kid was expelled for seriously awful and deeply troubling behavior. The parent probably is upset and worried and dealing with a lot. But she needs to exercise better judgement and OP is right to report the interaction so there is a record of it.

[Anonymous]

OP’s daughter apparently wasn’t a target at all until she inserted herself into the situation loudly enough to catch Larla’s mom’s attention. Whatever else is going on with Larla and her mom, OP’s daughter needs to learn some street smarts.

[Anonymous]

I’m missing how being called out for being a gossip is a safety issue. If I were the principal I’d be pretty annoyed you emailed me about this non-issue at all, and livid you think it warrants a response over the weekend, when nothing happened, but if it had you should have called the police anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m missing how being called out for being a gossip is a safety issue. If I were the principal I’d be pretty annoyed you emailed me about this non-issue at all, and livid you think it warrants a response over the weekend, when nothing happened, but if it had you should have called the police anyway.

You really think that, with all the school shootings? Idiots like you are why we're in this mess.

[Anonymous]

OP I assume you wrote to the principal to relay what happened, not to ask for something specific. I'd expect a response tomorrow, along the lines of, "thanks for letting me know."

You could have a theoretical conversation with the principal about whether an expelled student is allowed onto school grounds. Also, you could talk about the protocol for what to do if it were to happen again. (Your DD's biggest mistake - which you probably realize now - was to talk to a high school chaperone rather than an adult member of staff.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what do you expect the school to do here? Sure, if part of Larla’s expulsion included her not being allowed to set foot on school grounds the school could talk to her parents about that, but that’s pretty much it. Anything Larla might do to your daughter outside of school has nothing to do with your daughter’s school anymore and they have no jurisdiction over it. Same goes if her mom were to file a lawsuit. Unfortunately I think you have to expect that part of the message you get back will probably be that your daughter should stay out of the situation, that if she encounters Larla at another event she should find a responsible adult and discreetly ask them to deal with it, and then not gossip about it further with other students because that can be interpreted as provoking/bullying.

Wow. This really makes out the DD to be in the wrong and she was not. "Gossip further...?" She wasn't gossiping with a student--she was scared and asking for help from an older student who was at the event in a kind of chaperone capacity. The idea that the DD could be seen as provoking or bullying is nuts.

OP is right to inform the principal. The principal does need to know that the expelled kid's parent walked up and spoke to a student the way she did. The parent was out of line and should never have brought the expelled student into the school. Even if the expulsion did not include "never set foot on school grounds" before (I suspect it did, as threats of death and rape were involved, PP). , the parent made the DD feel unsafe. This parent has another child at that school so is likely to be around school again; the principal should know that this parent may not control herself around students she thinks are talking about her child. Short version: Parent of expelled kid may tend to go mama bear so the school needs to watch out for her.

The kid was expelled for seriously awful and deeply troubling behavior. The parent probably is upset and worried and dealing with a lot. But she needs to exercise better judgement and OP is right to report the interaction so there is a record of it.

OP here. Yes, DD sees the high school helper as a mentor and spoke to her because she was right there and DD thought she would know how to handle it. And from DD’s description the high school helper was the best choice to turn to for assistance in that moment as the teacher in charge was in another room and the other adults were parent volunteers she didn’t know. We have talked about how she might have handled it differentlly—and if she sees the expelled student at a future event she will avoid and contact me for pickup if she’s uncomfortable.

But I do feel I needed the administration to be aware for the reasons you described.

[Anonymous]

Do you know as a verified fact that this girl was expelled and not that she was given an alternative placement to address something like a mental health issue? Because it would look really bad for your daughter if it turns out to have been the latter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I assume you wrote to the principal to relay what happened, not to ask for something specific. I'd expect a response tomorrow, along the lines of, "thanks for letting me know."

You could have a theoretical conversation with the principal about whether an expelled student is allowed onto school grounds. Also, you could talk about the protocol for what to do if it were to happen again. (Your DD's biggest mistake - which you probably realize now - was to talk to a high school chaperone rather than an adult member of staff.)

Yes, I did want the principal to be aware more than anything and the response I’m looking for is along those lines, for DD to know how to proceed in future. And I will clarify policy for participation in/attendance at school-sponsored events, as my understanding of policy is that students must be in good academic and disciplinary standing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know as a verified fact that this girl was expelled and not that she was given an alternative placement to address something like a mental health issue? Because it would look really bad for your daughter if it turns out to have been the latter.

I don’t intend to ask and obviously wouldn’t expect to be told what discipline was given or what Larla’s schooling arrangements are. I do know details of the threats made and I know our school disciplîne policy. If policy was followed, the first set of specific threats led to OOS suspension, then the additional specific threats led to expulsion.

[Anonymous]

Did you receive a response? Principal might be investigating before responding, but you should receive something within 24 hours, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Where I live, if the child is expelled, he is not to be on school grounds under any circumstances. Not even a football game where a sibling is playing. Not sure if he can go to a rival school and watch a game there or not. This, at least, was what happened at our school.

[Anonymous]

In my opinion, you should have gotten an acknowledgement email within 48 hours. It didn't have to be a substantive response but something along the lines of, Thank you for informing me of this incident. I am doing some information gathering on my end and will circle back with you shortly.

Weekend or not, sending an acknowledgement takes 2 seconds. I receive over a hundred emails daily and have a 24 hour rule.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I think your DD ran her mouth a little and was out of line. She doesn't know the circumstances around Larla, and she has probably erroneously assumed she wasn't allowed to be there. Had she just kept her mouth shut instead of raising a bunch of drama, none of this would have happened and you wouldn't be fretting about a reply from the principal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I assume you wrote to the principal to relay what happened, not to ask for something specific. I'd expect a response tomorrow, along the lines of, "thanks for letting me know."

You could have a theoretical conversation with the principal about whether an expelled student is allowed onto school grounds. Also, you could talk about the protocol for what to do if it were to happen again. (Your DD's biggest mistake - which you probably realize now - was to talk to a high school chaperone rather than an adult member of staff.)

I have NEVER heard of a high school chaperone at a middle school dance. WTAF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I think your DD ran her mouth a little and was out of line. She doesn't know the circumstances around Larla, and she has probably erroneously assumed she wasn't allowed to be there. Had she just kept her mouth shut instead of raising a bunch of drama, none of this would have happened and you wouldn't be fretting about a reply from the principal.

Seriously? OP's daughter knew that the girl threatened murder and rape! The girl "was expelled in September for sending texts to two students threatening to kill them. She also threatened to have her boyfriend rape people. So DD was concerned to see Larla at the school event."

I commend her for alerting someone. Being a silent bystander does no one any good.

The response is above is so disturbing: OP's daughter should have "just kept her mouth shut instead of raising a bunch of drama"?!?!

If an ADULT is comfortable being this cruel, no wonder there are students in our communities whose behavior is so inappropriate to the point of threatening to kill and rape someone.