Parent coach playing own child for the whole game

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this travel soccer or rec? Are there rules about equal play time? If NOT, then he probably considers it a perq of volunteering to coach.

That makes him a huge huge douche.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, maybe you or your DH can volunteer to coach and then play your child as much as you want.

My dh coached 6 seasons of rec soccer. He gave kids equal playing time. I realize that classic and travel is a different ballgame, but it surprised me. He doesn’t even give the best player on the team that much field time.

Great, your DH should be all set to coach an MSI team then.

I get it, I really do. Our family has been there. The people who don’t coach or don’t have a spouse that coaches don’t understand how hard it is, how much time and effort coaches put into the team. I’m not pissed that my kid isn’t getting more playing time, I am truly asking if this is common in the higher levels, thats all, and If people get upset about it. I said the coach is good. I said his kid is good. I said my kid isn’t great. I’m still surprised at just how much he favors his own kid, that’s all. Relax a little, ok?

I’m a Rec coach around that age. I coach to favor my kid. I didn’t like how he was being coached before so I stepped up. I now set up trainings to address my son’s development needs as I see them and everyone else is along for the ride. The truth is that they’ve all benefited tremendously because I care more than most rec coaches and the kids notice and benefit from it. We now have a much better and happier team. And while I try to keep playing time even on the team, I’m always most aware of where and how much my son is playing and much does revolve around what I’m trying to accomplish for him.

That’s being a dad and a coach. And if you do it for everyone’s benefit, it works out great. I love the other kids on the team. I want to see them succeed and I’ve invested years helping them grow and succeed. But I wouldn’t be doing it if my son wasn’t out there too.

It’s your right and duty as a coach to look out for your kid. But I’d hope parent coaches would be fair and equitable and work for all the kids- because that’s the job you volunteer for.

Biggest douche canoe ever. Holy cow!!

You’re really messing your kid up to in the Process. I guarantee you he isn’t learning that much from you unless you’re an A or B licensed travel coach with a lot of experience so he won’t be playing at a high level (not even high school - trust me. ‘Dad coached’ never makes the high school varsity team. It’s travel team coached or bust) and yet you’re teaching him that the world revolves around him. Barf!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, maybe you or your DH can volunteer to coach and then play your child as much as you want.

My dh coached 6 seasons of rec soccer. He gave kids equal playing time. I realize that classic and travel is a different ballgame, but it surprised me. He doesn’t even give the best player on the team that much field time.

Great, your DH should be all set to coach an MSI team then.

I get it, I really do. Our family has been there. The people who don’t coach or don’t have a spouse that coaches don’t understand how hard it is, how much time and effort coaches put into the team. I’m not pissed that my kid isn’t getting more playing time, I am truly asking if this is common in the higher levels, thats all, and If people get upset about it. I said the coach is good. I said his kid is good. I said my kid isn’t great. I’m still surprised at just how much he favors his own kid, that’s all. Relax a little, ok?

I’m a Rec coach around that age. I coach to favor my kid. I didn’t like how he was being coached before so I stepped up. I now set up trainings to address my son’s development needs as I see them and everyone else is along for the ride. The truth is that they’ve all benefited tremendously because I care more than most rec coaches and the kids notice and benefit from it. We now have a much better and happier team. And while I try to keep playing time even on the team, I’m always most aware of where and how much my son is playing and much does revolve around what I’m trying to accomplish for him.

That’s being a dad and a coach. And if you do it for everyone’s benefit, it works out great. I love the other kids on the team. I want to see them succeed and I’ve invested years helping them grow and succeed. But I wouldn’t be doing it if my son wasn’t out there too.

It’s your right and duty as a coach to look out for your kid. But I’d hope parent coaches would be fair and equitable and work for all the kids- because that’s the job you volunteer for.

Biggest douche canoe ever. Holy cow!!

You’re really messing your kid up to in the Process. I guarantee you he isn’t learning that much from you unless you’re an A or B licensed travel coach with a lot of experience so he won’t be playing at a high level (not even high school - trust me. ‘Dad coached’ never makes the high school varsity team. It’s travel team coached or bust) and yet you’re teaching him that the world revolves around him. Barf!

I am not the PP, but you are insane.

I have one baseball player and one soccer player. I do not even pretend to try and coach my son in soccer. He spends summer in Europe and has private training in the US with his coaches who come over from Europe.

Now, baseball I do know something about and am not a certified anything. I played. I coach. I have more families ask me for private sessions than I can count; but I coach for my son (who wants me to be part of the experience) and because I love the time with my son most of all, and inspiring his teammates to be the best they can be. Miraculously it works without the BS coaching certs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, maybe you or your DH can volunteer to coach and then play your child as much as you want.

My dh coached 6 seasons of rec soccer. He gave kids equal playing time. I realize that classic and travel is a different ballgame, but it surprised me. He doesn’t even give the best player on the team that much field time.

Great, your DH should be all set to coach an MSI team then.

I get it, I really do. Our family has been there. The people who don’t coach or don’t have a spouse that coaches don’t understand how hard it is, how much time and effort coaches put into the team. I’m not pissed that my kid isn’t getting more playing time, I am truly asking if this is common in the higher levels, thats all, and If people get upset about it. I said the coach is good. I said his kid is good. I said my kid isn’t great. I’m still surprised at just how much he favors his own kid, that’s all. Relax a little, ok?

I’m a Rec coach around that age. I coach to favor my kid. I didn’t like how he was being coached before so I stepped up. I now set up trainings to address my son’s development needs as I see them and everyone else is along for the ride. The truth is that they’ve all benefited tremendously because I care more than most rec coaches and the kids notice and benefit from it. We now have a much better and happier team. And while I try to keep playing time even on the team, I’m always most aware of where and how much my son is playing and much does revolve around what I’m trying to accomplish for him.

That’s being a dad and a coach. And if you do it for everyone’s benefit, it works out great. I love the other kids on the team. I want to see them succeed and I’ve invested years helping them grow and succeed. But I wouldn’t be doing it if my son wasn’t out there too.

It’s your right and duty as a coach to look out for your kid. But I’d hope parent coaches would be fair and equitable and work for all the kids- because that’s the job you volunteer for.

Biggest douche canoe ever. Holy cow!!

You’re really messing your kid up to in the Process. I guarantee you he isn’t learning that much from you unless you’re an A or B licensed travel coach with a lot of experience so he won’t be playing at a high level (not even high school - trust me. ‘Dad coached’ never makes the high school varsity team. It’s travel team coached or bust) and yet you’re teaching him that the world revolves around him. Barf!

I am not the PP, but you are insane.

I have one baseball player and one soccer player. I do not even pretend to try and coach my son in soccer. He spends summer in Europe and has private training in the US with his coaches who come over from Europe.

Now, baseball I do know something about and am not a certified anything. I played. I coach. I have more families ask me for private sessions than I can count; but I coach for my son (who wants me to be part of the experience) and because I love the time with my son most of all, and inspiring his teammates to be the best they can be. Miraculously it works without the BS coaching certs.

You’re a giant asshole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, maybe you or your DH can volunteer to coach and then play your child as much as you want.

My dh coached 6 seasons of rec soccer. He gave kids equal playing time. I realize that classic and travel is a different ballgame, but it surprised me. He doesn’t even give the best player on the team that much field time.

Great, your DH should be all set to coach an MSI team then.

I get it, I really do. Our family has been there. The people who don’t coach or don’t have a spouse that coaches don’t understand how hard it is, how much time and effort coaches put into the team. I’m not pissed that my kid isn’t getting more playing time, I am truly asking if this is common in the higher levels, thats all, and If people get upset about it. I said the coach is good. I said his kid is good. I said my kid isn’t great. I’m still surprised at just how much he favors his own kid, that’s all. Relax a little, ok?

I’m a Rec coach around that age. I coach to favor my kid. I didn’t like how he was being coached before so I stepped up. I now set up trainings to address my son’s development needs as I see them and everyone else is along for the ride. The truth is that they’ve all benefited tremendously because I care more than most rec coaches and the kids notice and benefit from it. We now have a much better and happier team. And while I try to keep playing time even on the team, I’m always most aware of where and how much my son is playing and much does revolve around what I’m trying to accomplish for him.

That’s being a dad and a coach. And if you do it for everyone’s benefit, it works out great. I love the other kids on the team. I want to see them succeed and I’ve invested years helping them grow and succeed. But I wouldn’t be doing it if my son wasn’t out there too.

It’s your right and duty as a coach to look out for your kid. But I’d hope parent coaches would be fair and equitable and work for all the kids- because that’s the job you volunteer for.

Biggest douche canoe ever. Holy cow!!

You’re really messing your kid up to in the Process. I guarantee you he isn’t learning that much from you unless you’re an A or B licensed travel coach with a lot of experience so he won’t be playing at a high level (not even high school - trust me. ‘Dad coached’ never makes the high school varsity team. It’s travel team coached or bust) and yet you’re teaching him that the world revolves around him. Barf!

I am not the PP, but you are insane.

I have one baseball player and one soccer player. I do not even pretend to try and coach my son in soccer. He spends summer in Europe and has private training in the US with his coaches who come over from Europe.

Now, baseball I do know something about and am not a certified anything. I played. I coach. I have more families ask me for private sessions than I can count; but I coach for my son (who wants me to be part of the experience) and because I love the time with my son most of all, and inspiring his teammates to be the best they can be. Miraculously it works without the BS coaching certs.

You’re a giant asshole.

Most of the dad coaches are.

Once it’s over and your kid no longer plays the sport you’ll just have to slink back into the hole you crawled out of and get back to whatever it is you used to do.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Just want to clarify that I’m not the one calling these responders douche canoes.

The pp coach who said he sets trainings around his son—thank you for your honesty. I can see your perspective. I don’t think my dh would operate that way if he coached a higher level (and I don’t coach because I never played soccer) but I can see why you, and probably our current coach favors their kid.

[Anonymous]

When we played MSI Classic with parent coach we played all players as close to equal time as possible - regardless of talent - all the way through U13. For us it was a mater of player development which means touches on the ball, real game experience to build understanding and game strategy. Sure that meant some players were not as good but it was our coaches philosophy that we were building players, not playing to win. Its worth a discussion with the coach to see what their end goal for the team and players are.

[Anonymous]

My son is on MSI Classic U10 team with a coach who is not a parent and is a fantastic coach. But there is still a bit of favoritism toward one kid whose parents are very involved/supportive of the team. The kid isn't held to the same standard about missing practices, etc. This is just the way life works sometimes. My son loves the team and is learning a lot, and that's pretty much all that matters.

[Anonymous]

Why are only most Dad coaches a-holes? i’ve met a few Moms who sucked at coaching in the same way. All coaches are fair game for being a-holes.

That aside, a rec team should get kids playing and if you don’t like the coach step up. If your kid makes it to rec practice, you or your SO have time to coach. Get on youtube, contact the club, buy a book on how coach soccer.

Unequal playing time is not an issue. Your child, if you are not the coach, should expect 50% of the available time of the number of season rostered players on the team (not the ones who show up to the game).

Some rec coaches actual have planned out practice and games beforehand. Playing Johnny/Susie the ball chaser (which is probably most kids who arent the coaches kid) until he is too tired to continue but wont come out without tears and parents complain is a recipe for coaching frustration.

As a volunteer coach, I hoped for kids not to show up to the team in the season start or to games. I had too many kids on the roster for a great playing experience. the club begged for more parents to volunteer, most did not. some coaches took on 2 teams to train at practice and the second team had to rotate parents as a coach for each game because no one parent would take responsibility.

Lots of different experiences because of very different expectations. My kid was there to learn to play soccer, make some friends, have a good time, and try her hardest to play good soccer and to win if it happened. Some of her teammates loved being in her team, but were not there for the same reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are only most Dad coaches a-holes? i’ve met a few Moms who sucked at coaching in the same way. All coaches are fair game for being a-holes.

That aside, a rec team should get kids playing and if you don’t like the coach step up. If your kid makes it to rec practice, you or your SO have time to coach. Get on youtube, contact the club, buy a book on how coach soccer.

Unequal playing time is not an issue. Your child, if you are not the coach, should expect 50% of the available time of the number of season rostered players on the team (not the ones who show up to the game).

Some rec coaches actual have planned out practice and games beforehand. Playing Johnny/Susie the ball chaser (which is probably most kids who arent the coaches kid) until he is too tired to continue but wont come out without tears and parents complain is a recipe for coaching frustration.

As a volunteer coach, I hoped for kids not to show up to the team in the season start or to games. I had too many kids on the roster for a great playing experience. the club begged for more parents to volunteer, most did not. some coaches took on 2 teams to train at practice and the second team had to rotate parents as a coach for each game because no one parent would take responsibility.

Lots of different experiences because of very different expectations. My kid was there to learn to play soccer, make some friends, have a good time, and try her hardest to play good soccer and to win if it happened. Some of her teammates loved being in her team, but were not there for the same reasons.

Have had this experience so many times in rec sports and it is frustrating. I coach soccer and basketball. Thirteen kids on a U9 soccer team that only can have 7 kids on the field at one time is ridiculous. Also have had 10-11 boys on rec basketball teams. How do you ensure equal playing time for a basketball team of 11 kids?The rec organizations refuse to turn kids away once the teams are 'full' because they want to collect their fees. They should only register as many kids as they have coaches for. Its unfair to the players who register on time and to the coaches, who can't really coach because all they are doing is subbing players on and off.

[Anonymous]

Are there any other kids playing almost the whole game? It could be that he is favoring the kids who show up at every practice, are really focused at practice, show up on time for warm ups, etc. And his kid naturally does, since dad is coaching.

I also agree with above pp that some kids aren't as into it, and would also say that some kids aren't in as good of shape. My dd loves soccer and really into it during games, but is really dragging if she's not rotated out for at least a bit to get water, etc. It could be that he's leaving kids in who can handle it, and rotating kids out when they clearly need rest or aren't putting in 100%.

[Anonymous]

The big issue with rec teams is that coaches end up with bigger rosters than they should have and some of the kids accepted to the teams are not committed or motivated. Of course, there are exceptions with teams that have tighter rosters and were playing together for a long time. I know a rec coach that has over 20 kids on the roster, who religiously doles out equal time to his players regardless of what they do on the field in the game or in practice. Half the team does not even bother show up for practices and some of the players are getting frustrated with getting equal playing time with kids that do not practice with the team. I get the 50 percent playing time rule and understand why they have it in rec, but it really hurts the team when the roster is bloated. The kids that work hard do not get enough touches in games, and the kids that don't care and habitually miss practices get more game time than they really deserve.

[Anonymous]

It was very frustrating when my DD was playing rec years ago. There were girls that didn’t care for the sport and preferred picking up daisies, doing cartwheels and/or daydreaming, etc. during the games. The frustration part is that the coach had to play them equally with the other more focused players. Some parents sign up theirs kids on a rec team for exercise, social or reasons other than soccer.

I know it’s rec but at least pick a sport that you know your child enjoys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, OP, maybe you or your DH can volunteer to coach and then play your child as much as you want.

My dh coached 6 seasons of rec soccer. He gave kids equal playing time. I realize that classic and travel is a different ballgame, but it surprised me. He doesn’t even give the best player on the team that much field time.

Great, your DH should be all set to coach an MSI team then.

I get it, I really do. Our family has been there. The people who don’t coach or don’t have a spouse that coaches don’t understand how hard it is, how much time and effort coaches put into the team. I’m not pissed that my kid isn’t getting more playing time, I am truly asking if this is common in the higher levels, thats all, and If people get upset about it. I said the coach is good. I said his kid is good. I said my kid isn’t great. I’m still surprised at just how much he favors his own kid, that’s all. Relax a little, ok?

I’m a Rec coach around that age. I coach to favor my kid. I didn’t like how he was being coached before so I stepped up. I now set up trainings to address my son’s development needs as I see them and everyone else is along for the ride. The truth is that they’ve all benefited tremendously because I care more than most rec coaches and the kids notice and benefit from it. We now have a much better and happier team. And while I try to keep playing time even on the team, I’m always most aware of where and how much my son is playing and much does revolve around what I’m trying to accomplish for him.

That’s being a dad and a coach. And if you do it for everyone’s benefit, it works out great. I love the other kids on the team. I want to see them succeed and I’ve invested years helping them grow and succeed. But I wouldn’t be doing it if my son wasn’t out there too.

It’s your right and duty as a coach to look out for your kid. But I’d hope parent coaches would be fair and equitable and work for all the kids- because that’s the job you volunteer for.

NP here, just chiming in to say I have zero problem with this approach. A dedicated, knowledgeable coach is a great thing to find on a rec team, and I think it's absolutely fine for the coach to focus a lot on addressing his kid's particular development needs so long as he's also working to help the other kids improve too. The poster who said that only kids trained by A and B licensed coaches make high school teams is a crazy person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My child join a parent-coached MSI Classic level team this year. The coach seems good, but I am surprised that he plays his child for all but 5 minutes of every single game. His child is good, sure, but not amazing—not scoring a lot of goals, makes plenty of mistakes just like the other kids. My kid isn’t the best on the team, so I get that my kid isn’t played a ton, but the inequity between coach kid and everyone else is blatant.

Would this bother you? We came from rec where everyone played pretty equally. Is this just something to expect?

Scoring a lot of goals does not make a player amazing, nor does not scoring make them good. No age group was given and I don't know much about MSI classic.

Things to focus on in time other than coach's kid:

fitness level - who long can that kid be active without tiring
concentration - are they focused on the game, opponents, teammates
following coaching guidance - are they trying to playing the position or chasing the ball
position - can they cope with the running if wings, or at defense where it can be less tiring
skills - touch, weight, etc

or maybe the coach thinks his kid is the best or needs the extra fitness and needs the time.

Are you worried about soccer skills development or just equal time.