Leeting go of anger at ex SIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect there is more to this story than you know. Why didn’t your brother immediately ask friends and family for $ to refurbish basics for the girls?

Why so cynical?

She came to the empty apartment a couple hours after they got home and took the girls. There was no way he could refurnish it before she got there. We did buy all new stuff for him over the next few days.

Did he call the police to report the robbery?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I suspect there is more to this story than you know. Why didn’t your brother immediately ask friends and family for $ to refurbish basics for the girls?

20 plus years ago things were very different for dads who wanted to have custody or be involved in their children's lives.

So different that his own friends and family would not help him? That sounds very unlikely. I could see if you argued he thought the courts wouldn’t side with him. However, I can’t understand people being unwilling to give their brother $25 toward a used bunk bed set.

Yeah none of this adds up.

[Anonymous]

Congratulations on letting this eat you up for 30 years. I'm just glad his kids are doing ok.

[Anonymous]

Your residual anger is 100% understandable.

Seeing someone hurt your loved one can cause one to feel extremely resentful for a very long time.

However....
So many years have now passed.
Everyone is in a different life phase now & there are now two young children added to the mix.

My best advice for you here would be to limit as much time as possible w/your former Sister-in-Law.
What she did to your brother was terrible, but try not to dwell on it as it could affect your relationship w/your two nieces + the two young children involved as well.

I think you should attend the party and be civil to your former SIL.
Try not to get into any conversation w/her and if you really feel uncomfortable, leave early.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Your brother chose her, married her, and procreated with her. Let me guess, Sally was smokin hot back in the day? He wanted a slutty hot girl and was young, dumb and full of cum enough to marry her. Oldest story in the book.

Your niece can have whatever relationship she wants with her mother; has nothing to do with her dad and sure as shit has nothing to do with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your residual anger is 100% understandable.

Seeing someone hurt your loved one can cause one to feel extremely resentful for a very long time.

However....
So many years have now passed.
Everyone is in a different life phase now & there are now two young children added to the mix.

My best advice for you here would be to limit as much time as possible w/your former Sister-in-Law.
What she did to your brother was terrible, but try not to dwell on it as it could affect your relationship w/your two nieces + the two young children involved as well.

I think you should attend the party and be civil to your former SIL.
Try not to get into any conversation w/her and if you really feel uncomfortable, leave early.


This is really the best advice I have seen. OP I am also glad that your nieces saw through their mom at one point, but it seems the whole family has moved on but I will definitely heed the above PP’s advice.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Children always want their mothers. It's biologically cooked in to them. You can't change that, so change you.