Have you walked to DS about "how not to be molested"?

[Anonymous]

For my preschoolers, I have used the book "Let's Stay Safe." It was written specifically to battle molestation in the Jewish Orthodox community, but it packs those messages in with other safety messages so that the kids don't view the issue as especially scary. The main messages on molestation, as described in a recent article, are "that children should not keep secrets from parents, that their bodies belong to them, that there is a distinction between good touching and bad touching and that no one has the right to make them feel uncomfortable." The book also emphasizes that it is OK to just leave when an adult makes them feel uncomfortable, that they should reject an adult's request go somewhere alone, and that they should tell their parents if someone even asks them to keep a secret. The pictures are happy though, and it talks a lot about stuff like street crossing, not playing with matches or appliances, and wearing a bike helmet, so I hope it makes the kids feel like this is just another unremarkable aspect of personal safety rather than some especially shameful thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have definitely and often talked to all my children - boys and girls - about what grooming looks like, what to do if some coach/teacher/old lady or man tries to touch them, not to feel guilty if you don't react the way you expected you would -- all the things I wish someone had told me.

What does it look like?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We told DS that it OK to say no to any adult. Say no to going off with them, letting them touch theM, , or say sexual stuff that makes them uncomfortable. We also never allowed sleep overs and monitored. adults at church and sporting events. We were present with eyes open.

Predators look for lonely kids, feral kids, single parent kids, misfits to prey on. We had a man in a youth group take an interest in DS. He was calling DS at night and sending cards in the mail. This guy is a well respected business person in Mclean. We had to run him off because DS didn't know how to tell him to stop courting him. BTW that guy still volunteers with the youth group. I couldn't find him on any sexual predator list, but I predict he will get nailed.

He sounds like a creep. How did you run him off??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have definitely and often talked to all my children - boys and girls - about what grooming looks like, what to do if some coach/teacher/old lady or man tries to touch them, not to feel guilty if you don't react the way you expected you would -- all the things I wish someone had told me.

What does it look like?

+1

[Anonymous]

I got a weird vibe from a local person who had been hanging around that was very good friends with our neighbor. DS who was 11 at the time would hang out on the street with other neighborhood boys and this person throwing the football, playing street hockey, etc. My dad was visiting one day and because he is clergy and runs youth groups, had recently taken a class on child predators and how to spot red flags, etc. He asked me who the guy was and if I was OK with my DS spending so much time with him. I told him they are never alone but that I agreed there was something"off". So that night I had a heart to heart with DS and asked him if anything had ever happened that made him uncomfortable and we talked about grooming behaviors, when things feel uncomfortable what to do, and that he should never keep secrets from us, etc. I also made sure DS was never alone with him. Fast forward a year later and one of the neighborhood boys told his mom that the guy had been sexually abusing him for several months It is a horrible situation. This is a well-loved member in the community (they usually are) and over 10 other victims have come forward since the initial allegations. I AM SO THANKFUL that I talked to DS that night and so thankful my dad asked me about it.

[Anonymous]

Everyone on DCUM know there were pedophiles working right in the middle of your ommunity who openly spoke of their lust pubescent teens. It is laughable how the DCUM community can act so totally shocked and caught off guard by recent revelations.

You and your children were groomed by these pedophiles. Not all of the teens were molested but you were all groomed and you knew it when it was happening. You sold out for easy grades of "A's" and assumed your kids were not getting molested while turning a blind eye to the likelihood it was happening to other children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone on DCUM know there were pedophiles working right in the middle of your ommunity who openly spoke of their lust pubescent teens. It is laughable how the DCUM community can act so totally shocked and caught off guard by recent revelations.

You and your children were groomed by these pedophiles. Not all of the teens were molested but you were all groomed and you knew it when it was happening. You sold out for easy grades of "A's" and assumed your kids were not getting molested while turning a blind eye to the likelihood it was happening to other children.

What are you even talking about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have definitely and often talked to all my children - boys and girls - about what grooming looks like, what to do if some coach/teacher/old lady or man tries to touch them, not to feel guilty if you don't react the way you expected you would -- all the things I wish someone had told me.

What does it look like?

+1

You can take an online training that describes the different types of grooming. It is intended to train parent volunteers in MCPS, but anyone can take it.

[Anonymous]

I asked my 12 yr old (rising 7th grader) if they ever talked about bad touch and that sort of thing at school in Family Life Education (FCPS) and he said they went over that.

I've reviewed the curriculum and I remember seeing various modules about it. If you are in Fairfax, you can see it for yourself on the blackboard site (curriculum tab).

[Anonymous]

You know exactly what I'm talking about and there are probably already warrants out for their arrests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have definitely and often talked to all my children - boys and girls - about what grooming looks like, what to do if some coach/teacher/old lady or man tries to touch them, not to feel guilty if you don't react the way you expected you would -- all the things I wish someone had told me.

What does it look like?

It looks like any adult taking an unusual interest in a child - if your coach offers you special training by yourself, offers to drive you by yourself to the game, if some grownup you know starts wanting to play roblox or fortnite with you, if your teacher offers you special help after school by yourself, if someone - a coach, a teacher, an uncle - wants your telephone number and starts calling just to chat -- all of these things should raise questions in the mind of any parent. And if someone has asked my child for these things - or something that feels odd to them - then I have asked my children to tell me.

[Anonymous]

All of the time. it's a running joke in the family. we keep it light. My boys are 10 and 13 and no nobody should be touching anything under their underwear from the time they started going to camps/school/sports practice, etc. I talk about creepy adults and also no adult should be asking them to go anywhere alone, etc.

And, sorry, even though I have all boys--I would never hire a male babysitter. I have one grown adult friend who was molested as a kid by a male teen babysitter. So, I look at older teens/brothers as well.

I also have my 'creep' alert. If a dad feels 'off' to me--my kids are not going to that house for a sleepover or play date.

My very muscular husband likes to show up at practices and pick up every once in awhile as well.

It's all about empowerment without scaring your kids. My parents always told us about the weirdos out there, what to do, etc. It made me feel stronger not more scared. For example, no going for a run in a wooded area alone or after dark, etc. I should be somewhere in the open I could run for help. I can't tell you how may girls I know that ignore that rule.

Also, there was the case of the adult male drugging College Park male students when challenging them to pool at a college bar and taking them back to his place and raping them. So, this can happen to males as well.

[Anonymous]

Stay away from middle aged Italian film actress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stay away from middle aged Italian film actress.

You drunk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of the time. it's a running joke in the family. we keep it light. My boys are 10 and 13 and no nobody should be touching anything under their underwear from the time they started going to camps/school/sports practice, etc. I talk about creepy adults and also no adult should be asking them to go anywhere alone, etc.

And, sorry, even though I have all boys--I would never hire a male babysitter. I have one grown adult friend who was molested as a kid by a male teen babysitter. So, I look at older teens/brothers as well.

I also have my 'creep' alert. If a dad feels 'off' to me--my kids are not going to that house for a sleepover or play date.

My very muscular husband likes to show up at practices and pick up every once in awhile as well.

It's all about empowerment without scaring your kids. My parents always told us about the weirdos out there, what to do, etc. It made me feel stronger not more scared. For example, no going for a run in a wooded area alone or after dark, etc. I should be somewhere in the open I could run for help. I can't tell you how may girls I know that ignore that rule.

Also, there was the case of the adult male drugging College Park male students when challenging them to pool at a college bar and taking them back to his place and raping them. So, this can happen to males as well.

My high school boyfriend was molested by his female babysitter from 10-12. This is hardly a danger limited to men.