Tell me about Persian families

[Anonymous]

Hot headed

[Anonymous]

Nobody does a dessert table at a wedding better than Persians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nobody does a dessert table at a wedding better than Persians.

I don't know, no chocolate and excessive amount of rose water and pistachio. Not worth the calories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m midwestern (reserved in emotions and practical) and married a Persian man. Especially since Dd was born, the over the top (to me) emotional expressions from my inlaws are driving me bonkers. Every time we talk (regularly!) the convo starts with a teary “it’s been sooooo long since we’ve seen you!!” The frequently refer to the day Dd was born as “the single best moment of their lives” and thank her for it. They are always saying things like “nothing is too good for our princess” (referrring to dd) and that she is the smartest / most special / happiest / best tempered / etc etc child ever. I could go on and on.

My husband says this is just Persian culture and they haven’t actually totally lost their minds obsessing over her and thinking she’s perfect. Is this the norm? I try to role with it either way bc what can you do and am more just curious of the tears and over the topness (to me) is the norm in Persian culture.

So why didn’t you know this about his family before you married him?

And yes, most Persian families are like this. Sorry.

signed,
Persian-American mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m midwestern (reserved in emotions and practical) and married a Persian man. Especially since Dd was born, the over the top (to me) emotional expressions from my inlaws are driving me bonkers. Every time we talk (regularly!) the convo starts with a teary “it’s been sooooo long since we’ve seen you!!” The frequently refer to the day Dd was born as “the single best moment of their lives” and thank her for it. They are always saying things like “nothing is too good for our princess” (referrring to dd) and that she is the smartest / most special / happiest / best tempered / etc etc child ever. I could go on and on.

My husband says this is just Persian culture and they haven’t actually totally lost their minds obsessing over her and thinking she’s perfect. Is this the norm? I try to role with it either way bc what can you do and am more just curious of the tears and over the topness (to me) is the norm in Persian culture.

So why didn’t you know this about his family before you married him?

And yes, most Persian families are like this. Sorry.

signed,
Persian-American mom

I was thinking the same thing.
My best friend is Persian, she’s the nicest person I have ever met & her family.
They have so many positive views on life and are very family oriented.


Always making someone feel comfortable “tea, food, crackers, fruits”

OP, you should be thankful for this family as oppose to asking if it’s normal.

When we aren’t used to being loved, it might feel strange.

I suggest hugging your DD more often, more hugs a day = happier life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There's a lot of hair. You'll be vacuuming constantly.

I like you.

I just died a little. In a good way. Can we be friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m midwestern (reserved in emotions and practical) and married a Persian man. Especially since Dd was born, the over the top (to me) emotional expressions from my inlaws are driving me bonkers. Every time we talk (regularly!) the convo starts with a teary “it’s been sooooo long since we’ve seen you!!” The frequently refer to the day Dd was born as “the single best moment of their lives” and thank her for it. They are always saying things like “nothing is too good for our princess” (referrring to dd) and that she is the smartest / most special / happiest / best tempered / etc etc child ever. I could go on and on.

My husband says this is just Persian culture and they haven’t actually totally lost their minds obsessing over her and thinking she’s perfect. Is this the norm? I try to role with it either way bc what can you do and am more just curious of the tears and over the topness (to me) is the norm in Persian culture.

So why didn’t you know this about his family before you married him?

And yes, most Persian families are like this. Sorry.

signed,
Persian-American mom

I was thinking the same thing.
My best friend is Persian, she’s the nicest person I have ever met & her family.
They have so many positive views on life and are very family oriented.


Always making someone feel comfortable “tea, food, crackers, fruits”

OP, you should be thankful for this family as oppose to asking if it’s normal.

When we aren’t used to being loved, it might feel strange.

I suggest hugging your DD more often, more hugs a day = happier life.

That’s sweet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m midwestern (reserved in emotions and practical) and married a Persian man. Especially since Dd was born, the over the top (to me) emotional expressions from my inlaws are driving me bonkers. Every time we talk (regularly!) the convo starts with a teary “it’s been sooooo long since we’ve seen you!!” The frequently refer to the day Dd was born as “the single best moment of their lives” and thank her for it. They are always saying things like “nothing is too good for our princess” (referrring to dd) and that she is the smartest / most special / happiest / best tempered / etc etc child ever. I could go on and on.

My husband says this is just Persian culture and they haven’t actually totally lost their minds obsessing over her and thinking she’s perfect. Is this the norm? I try to role with it either way bc what can you do and am more just curious of the tears and over the topness (to me) is the norm in Persian culture.

So why didn’t you know this about his family before you married him?

And yes, most Persian families are like this. Sorry.

signed,
Persian-American mom

I knew some of it but they haven’t had anyone to obsess over / worship before dd. They were very emotionally invested in our wedding but other than that there hasn’t been something with this focus. I guess part of what I’m curious about is whether the things they say are really how they feel (that Dd is literally perfect and the best creature to ever exist, that she deserves everything money can buy, that her birth is the single greatest moment of their lives and made life worth living (is dh chopped liver?!), that they spend their time “staring st pictures of her all day”, or if culturally they’re just speaking in extremes as a deomonstration of love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m midwestern (reserved in emotions and practical) and married a Persian man. Especially since Dd was born, the over the top (to me) emotional expressions from my inlaws are driving me bonkers. Every time we talk (regularly!) the convo starts with a teary “it’s been sooooo long since we’ve seen you!!” The frequently refer to the day Dd was born as “the single best moment of their lives” and thank her for it. They are always saying things like “nothing is too good for our princess” (referrring to dd) and that she is the smartest / most special / happiest / best tempered / etc etc child ever. I could go on and on.

My husband says this is just Persian culture and they haven’t actually totally lost their minds obsessing over her and thinking she’s perfect. Is this the norm? I try to role with it either way bc what can you do and am more just curious of the tears and over the topness (to me) is the norm in Persian culture.

So why didn’t you know this about his family before you married him?

And yes, most Persian families are like this. Sorry.

signed,
Persian-American mom

I knew some of it but they haven’t had anyone to obsess over / worship before dd. They were very emotionally invested in our wedding but other than that there hasn’t been something with this focus. I guess part of what I’m curious about is whether the things they say are really how they feel (that Dd is literally perfect and the best creature to ever exist, that she deserves everything money can buy, that her birth is the single greatest moment of their lives and made life worth living (is dh chopped liver?!), that they spend their time “staring st pictures of her all day”, or if culturally they’re just speaking in extremes as a deomonstration of love.

I laughed reading your post. Because it really is so typically Persian. No, DD is not literally perfect, but she's theirs, at least at the moment they're talking to you, so they shower with extreme love and attention. (But probably, when their friends come over with a toddler, that kid is also perfect and amazing, etc.) And no, DH is not chopped liver. But he had his moment 30 years ago, they're on to their new baby joon now.

Mostly, just roll with it. If it's good-natured then just bask in how unusual it is. If it gets dramatic or less good natured, rely on DH to draw boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'm married to an Iranian (though not Persian) guy. His family is not super typical "Iranian" in most ways, but there's a lot of displays of intense emotion, along with a need for "closeness" that can be oppressive.

Genuinely curious what you mean? They are all Persian.

Um no. Perhaps you have heard of Kurds for example? Being Iranian means you live within the borders of Iran. It doesn’t mean you belong to any particular ethnic or cultural group.

+1, one of my good friends was born in Iran, she is Armenian

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m midwestern (reserved in emotions and practical) and married a Persian man. Especially since Dd was born, the over the top (to me) emotional expressions from my inlaws are driving me bonkers. Every time we talk (regularly!) the convo starts with a teary “it’s been sooooo long since we’ve seen you!!” The frequently refer to the day Dd was born as “the single best moment of their lives” and thank her for it. They are always saying things like “nothing is too good for our princess” (referrring to dd) and that she is the smartest / most special / happiest / best tempered / etc etc child ever. I could go on and on.

My husband says this is just Persian culture and they haven’t actually totally lost their minds obsessing over her and thinking she’s perfect. Is this the norm? I try to role with it either way bc what can you do and am more just curious of the tears and over the topness (to me) is the norm in Persian culture.

You’re crazy! I would love to have ln laws like this. Embrace the difference and be glad their aren’t cold and absent like my WASPY in laws.

[Anonymous]

I'm on season 2 of Shahs of Sunset show and OMG...

[Anonymous]

All non -WASP cultures are very similar to this. This is very much like my Indian-american family.

[Anonymous]

Watch my big Fat Greek Wedding...you will understand that your ILs are not dry toast. Feel bad for your DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All non -WASP cultures are very similar to this. This is very much like my Indian-american family.

I wouldn’t generalize. My Indian MIL (devout Hindu) says nothing overtly positive about my children. She claims it is because she doesn’t want to jinx them. It’s the complete opposite of my Persian parents who rave on and on about their grandkids much like OP’s inlaws!