Too friendly is a big flag of autism?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Originally the developmental pediatrician concludes that my 2 year old DS is not autistic, but has some stimming behavior & needs speech evaluation after 30 minutes of background asking/observations/testing. However, the second that DS hugs her out of blue & lean his head/body against her with giggling & big smile, the pediatrician comments that is unusual & asks me is DS always friendly to strangers/other people. I tell her yes, and DS has been friendly with big smiles to a lot of people since he was little.

And, then pediatrician starts to ask if DS has any milestones didn't meet age appropriate when he was younger. I said yes that he didn't point/wave/recognize his name/making better eye contact till past 2 years old, but now he is doing all these quite really well. The pediatrician says that autistic kids can improve skills over time. But her main concern is that he is too friendly to strangers (which include herself).

Sounds like the doctor isn't sure either so that is why she is recommending additional testing. Nothing wrong with getting additional data.

Agree.

Time will probably clarify things. As an FYI teachers and ST aren’t qualified to diagnose autism. Being overly friendly can be a trait many kids on the spectrum have—like wanting to talk to everyone—over sharing with strangers or giving hugs to people they just met. My kid goes to a sn school and this trait is fairly common.

Just treat his issues as they arise and sort out potential diagnoses as needed. Sounds like you’re on the ball with therapies so I wouldn’t stress too much over is he or isn’t he at this point.

true about daycare teachers, but since they see so many kids, I think their point of view about how the child is socializing is important. At 2 I'd be interested to know how she does in a group - is she starting to be able to follow group routines like lining up, circle time, clean up? Can she interpret non-verbal cues when playing? Stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

When my kid was 3 and we were trying to figure out what was going on, one of the country special ed teachers told me being interested in strangers and very friendly is a red flag when I told her that I didn't suspect Autsim because of his social skills. He didn't end up on the spectrum, but I remember them flagging being too friendly as an issue, even at the age of 3.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Originally the developmental pediatrician concludes that my 2 year old DS is not autistic, but has some stimming behavior & needs speech evaluation after 30 minutes of background asking/observations/testing. However, the second that DS hugs her out of blue & lean his head/body against her with giggling & big smile, the pediatrician comments that is unusual & asks me is DS always friendly to strangers/other people. I tell her yes, and DS has been friendly with big smiles to a lot of people since he was little.

And, then pediatrician starts to ask if DS has any milestones didn't meet age appropriate when he was younger. I said yes that he didn't point/wave/recognize his name/making better eye contact till past 2 years old, but now he is doing all these quite really well. The pediatrician says that autistic kids can improve skills over time. But her main concern is that he is too friendly to strangers (which include herself).

Sounds like the doctor isn't sure either so that is why she is recommending additional testing. Nothing wrong with getting additional data.

Agree.

Time will probably clarify things. As an FYI teachers and ST aren’t qualified to diagnose autism. Being overly friendly can be a trait many kids on the spectrum have—like wanting to talk to everyone—over sharing with strangers or giving hugs to people they just met. My kid goes to a sn school and this trait is fairly common.

Just treat his issues as they arise and sort out potential diagnoses as needed. Sounds like you’re on the ball with therapies so I wouldn’t stress too much over is he or isn’t he at this point.

true about daycare teachers, but since they see so many kids, I think their point of view about how the child is socializing is important. At 2 I'd be interested to know how she does in a group - is she starting to be able to follow group routines like lining up, circle time, clean up? Can she interpret non-verbal cues when playing? Stuff like that.

None of those things would imply autism. Plus many 2 year olds still engage in parallel play which is typical for that age.

[Anonymous]

autism affects all kinds of people. My HFA kid is an extreme introvert, and has pretty much never spoken to someone unless they've spoken to him first (and sometimes not then either.) None of his teachers suspected autism.. just thought he was really shy and quiet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:autism affects all kinds of people. My HFA kid is an extreme introvert, and has pretty much never spoken to someone unless they've spoken to him first (and sometimes not then either.) None of his teachers suspected autism.. just thought he was really shy and quiet.

I'm this poster, and should add that what they mean, perhaps, is not so much the friendliness per se, but that your son is not paying attention to the signals the other person is sending out. That is, not sensitive to any cues about the other person's friendliness or lack thereof. I'm familiar with some older very social kids with autism, and what is clear is that they are not perceiving social cues from the person they're talking to. (that is, they're not having a conversation as much as giving a monologue. My son does this to us at home sometimes.) I'm not an expert, but to me, 2 seems too young to draw this conclusion, because lots of two year olds aren't good at reading social cues. It sounds like something else to me. I know a girl who was like that as a toddler, and it was just perhaps a little developmental delay. (ie, she's academically a little below average. But catching up.) And she grew out of the indiscriminate friendliness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Originally the developmental pediatrician concludes that my 2 year old DS is not autistic, but has some stimming behavior & needs speech evaluation after 30 minutes of background asking/observations/testing. However, the second that DS hugs her out of blue & lean his head/body against her with giggling & big smile, the pediatrician comments that is unusual & asks me is DS always friendly to strangers/other people. I tell her yes, and DS has been friendly with big smiles to a lot of people since he was little.

And, then pediatrician starts to ask if DS has any milestones didn't meet age appropriate when he was younger. I said yes that he didn't point/wave/recognize his name/making better eye contact till past 2 years old, but now he is doing all these quite really well. The pediatrician says that autistic kids can improve skills over time. But her main concern is that he is too friendly to strangers (which include herself).

Sounds like the doctor isn't sure either so that is why she is recommending additional testing. Nothing wrong with getting additional data.

Agree.

Time will probably clarify things. As an FYI teachers and ST aren’t qualified to diagnose autism. Being overly friendly can be a trait many kids on the spectrum have—like wanting to talk to everyone—over sharing with strangers or giving hugs to people they just met. My kid goes to a sn school and this trait is fairly common.

Just treat his issues as they arise and sort out potential diagnoses as needed. Sounds like you’re on the ball with therapies so I wouldn’t stress too much over is he or isn’t he at this point.

true about daycare teachers, but since they see so many kids, I think their point of view about how the child is socializing is important. At 2 I'd be interested to know how she does in a group - is she starting to be able to follow group routines like lining up, circle time, clean up? Can she interpret non-verbal cues when playing? Stuff like that.

None of those things would imply autism. Plus many 2 year olds still engage in parallel play which is typical for that age.

My point is that if you should expect to start seeing a child start being able to do those things a little - begin to attend to circle time, line up, share a toy, get grownups to do things for them. Those are the kinds of developing social skills to look for. If your 2 year old is "too friendly" but is developing other skills similar to peers, it's probably ok. My point is "too friendly" is not something to look at in isolation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Originally the developmental pediatrician concludes that my 2 year old DS is not autistic, but has some stimming behavior & needs speech evaluation after 30 minutes of background asking/observations/testing. However, the second that DS hugs her out of blue & lean his head/body against her with giggling & big smile, the pediatrician comments that is unusual & asks me is DS always friendly to strangers/other people. I tell her yes, and DS has been friendly with big smiles to a lot of people since he was little.

And, then pediatrician starts to ask if DS has any milestones didn't meet age appropriate when he was younger. I said yes that he didn't point/wave/recognize his name/making better eye contact till past 2 years old, but now he is doing all these quite really well. The pediatrician says that autistic kids can improve skills over time. But her main concern is that he is too friendly to strangers (which include herself).

Sounds like the doctor isn't sure either so that is why she is recommending additional testing. Nothing wrong with getting additional data.

Agree.

Time will probably clarify things. As an FYI teachers and ST aren’t qualified to diagnose autism. Being overly friendly can be a trait many kids on the spectrum have—like wanting to talk to everyone—over sharing with strangers or giving hugs to people they just met. My kid goes to a sn school and this trait is fairly common.

Just treat his issues as they arise and sort out potential diagnoses as needed. Sounds like you’re on the ball with therapies so I wouldn’t stress too much over is he or isn’t he at this point.

true about daycare teachers, but since they see so many kids, I think their point of view about how the child is socializing is important. At 2 I'd be interested to know how she does in a group - is she starting to be able to follow group routines like lining up, circle time, clean up? Can she interpret non-verbal cues when playing? Stuff like that.

None of those things would imply autism. Plus many 2 year olds still engage in parallel play which is typical for that age.

My point is that if you should expect to start seeing a child start being able to do those things a little - begin to attend to circle time, line up, share a toy, get grownups to do things for them. Those are the kinds of developing social skills to look for. If your 2 year old is "too friendly" but is developing other skills similar to peers, it's probably ok. My point is "too friendly" is not something to look at in isolation.

Too friendly isn’t being looked at in isolation. The developmental pediatrician is also taking into consideration the speech delay, milestones, etc. and did the proper thing of asking the parent if the friendliness displayed in the office visit was the norm.

Lining up and circle time aren’t social skills. Many typical 2 year olds can’t do them. These are expectations of many preschools though; however according to the CDC defiance is typical to see: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/milestones-2yr.html