This is why I moved my kid from public to private school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm considering moving my kid to private school before she even starts at our elementary school. On our local Mont Co elementary school's listserv, they mentioned that they'll be having the kids sign something saying they've agreed to to live healthy and drug-free lives. WTF???? DD doesn't even know what drugs are, and I would seriously hope that most kids age K-2 in the school are in the same situation. I'm starting to think that in order to keep my kid a KID for a couple more years I'll need to go private. Ugh. It should not be this hard.

This is not true. My kids have not signed anything like this. Lots of kids in private schools take drugs too not just public school kids.

I don't think pp was saying that private school kids don't use drugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, 19:32. Which moco school? We will probably do private for the same reason: helping our kid stay a kid.

Cross GDS off the list, then! Freedom from Chemical Dependency starts in 2nd grade. And "free to be" (e.g. gay) assemblies start in PreK. Everything's done at an age-appropriate level. FWIW, my DC's there and I understand and agree with the logic of framing these issues from an early age. Just saying that not all privates take the kind of approach you're looking for.

Um, I would rather my kid not hear about these issues at such a young age. Yes, GDS is off the list.

[Anonymous]

Um, I would rather my kid not hear about these issues at such a young age. Yes, GDS is off the list

So when your young kid's best buddy has two mothers, as is the case with my child, what is your plan then? Hide? Forbid the friendship? Yell "For God the Father's sake, do not ask such questions!" when the inevitable question arises?

I'm not sure how I feel about an actual gay pride pep rally myself, however your flippant comment really took me back. Back to about 1951, June.

[Anonymous]

Young age is better for a lot of reasons.

First, at that point it's not about sex. It's about families and lots of kids have family members (extended, if not nuclear) who are gay. So, even before school, they've seen couples/households that aren't heterosexual. And, of course, lots of straight families have two mommies these days (e.g. a step-mommy). Recognizing a diverse range of family types reflects reality and is a much better approach than suggesting that there's one right way to be a family and families that don't conform to that model are, in some sense, failures.

Secondly, gay-bashing starts at a really early age -- long before kids even understand what they are doing. Example, in first grade, one little girl was jealous of/feeling displaced by my DC's friendship with another little girl. So she started mocking them/trying to drive a wedge by saying "DC and her friend love each other so much they should get married" and starting making smoochie-smoochie noises. It didn't phase DC or her friend. (Friend responded "Don't be silly; girls can't marry each other." To which DC responded "Except in Massachusetts!") But it's an example of how homophobia starts getting inculcated at an early age.

[Anonymous]

Even if they go to public school, they will encounter kids who have gay parents! There are three teachers who are gay with kids at my child's preschool, along with at least 2 families. At my other child's elementary school, there is at least one child in the class who has two mothers. I agree- how are you going to avoid this issue? And why do you need to? Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So when your young kid's best buddy has two mothers, as is the case with my child, what is your plan then? Hide? Forbid the friendship? Yell "For God the Father's sake, do not ask such questions!" when the inevitable question arises?

Not the PP, but I don't see a problem with a buddy having two mothers or whatever. What I have problems with is a school, particularly an elementary school, taking an institutional position on what are socally approved or disapproved living arrangments of parents or adults in general. It is simply none of the school's business to legitimate or delegitimate a particular family structure. Otherwise, you are opening the door to coercive indoctrination of kids and promotion of social conformity. You might be o.k. with that because today's political correctness is to your taste --- but remember, political and social fashions change, and they are different in different parts of the country. So, let the schools stick to age appropriate academics and let other institutions, political or religious, take care of the rest.

[Anonymous]

Well, but age-appropriate academics will discuss (social studies) and depict (reading) families and communities. So there's no real opting out. Either you can select materials where all the families fit a particular mold or you can select materials where diversity is portrayed.

[Anonymous]

I'm 19:32, and I have no issue with a school talking about how kids have all kinds of families (mom/dad, two moms, two dads, single parents, divorced, grandparents only, etc). I think I would be fine with a school discussing how some kids when they get older will have feelings for the opposite sex, and some for the same sex. If it were done in an age-appropriate way, as was mentioned, it wouldn't bother me.

The Freedom from Chemical Dependency thing is another issue. I think that discussing drugs, drug dependency, and getting kids to promise they won't take drugs at such a young age seems ridiculous. I would love to postpone my child's having to wrap her head around the concept of drugs and what they can do to her, and having to promise never to take them. It feels akin to asking prepubescent kids to sign abstinence pledges. I can't imagine the drug-free pledges are any more effective.

I could be wrong though - I grew up in the boondocks, before meth was the huge issue that it is now, so maybe I'm just naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Young age is better for a lot of reasons.

First, at that point it's not about sex. It's about families and lots of kids have family members (extended, if not nuclear) who are gay. So, even before school, they've seen couples/households that aren't heterosexual. And, of course, lots of straight families have two mommies these days (e.g. a step-mommy). Recognizing a diverse range of family types reflects reality and is a much better approach than suggesting that there's one right way to be a family and families that don't conform to that model are, in some sense, failures.

Secondly, gay-bashing starts at a really early age -- long before kids even understand what they are doing. Example, in first grade, one little girl was jealous of/feeling displaced by my DC's friendship with another little girl. So she started mocking them/trying to drive a wedge by saying "DC and her friend love each other so much they should get married" and starting making smoochie-smoochie noises. It didn't phase DC or her friend. (Friend responded "Don't be silly; girls can't marry each other." To which DC responded "Except in Massachusetts!") But it's an example of how homophobia starts getting inculcated at an early age.

Your DC rocks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, but age-appropriate academics will discuss (social studies) and depict (reading) families and communities. So there's no real opting out. Either you can select materials where all the families fit a particular mold or you can select materials where diversity is portrayed.

There is a huge difference between depicting/discussing/thinking about different families and communities in an academic setting and a school rally aimed at forcing conformity with respect to behavior. The former encourages kids to think and to come to their own conclusions, and the other closes off possibilities that are not the flavor of the day, as interpreted by whoever happens to be in charge at the time.

[Anonymous]

What's the "forced conformity" -- we all respect each others' choices and backgrounds? There are certain behaviors -- harassment, bullying, and ridicule spring to mind -- that schools should shut down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your DC rocks!

She does, LOL! Actually, the only reason I even heard about this playground episode was that she needed to verify her facts. It was 2004 and apparently she was paying more attention to the news than I realized, but we hadn't really talked about same-sex marriage. So when the other kids doubted her, she asked for confirmation. I think that this was the same year that she made us stop flipping channels once and backtrack. We thought we were headed toward some cartoon but, in fact, she wanted to hear the rest of what Kucinich was saying about health care! At which point she grilled us about why we preferred Dean.

Which is one of the reasons my kid is in private school -- I wanted her to be in an environment where it wasn't considered inappropriate to care about things she cared about/was interested in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's the "forced conformity" -- we all respect each others' choices and backgrounds? There are certain behaviors -- harassment, bullying, and ridicule spring to mind -- that schools should shut down.

Those behaviors should be shut down. But those behaviors are always inappropriate, irrespective of the number of mommies or anything else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Um, I would rather my kid not hear about these issues at such a young age. Yes, GDS is off the list

So when your young kid's best buddy has two mothers, as is the case with my child, what is your plan then? Hide? Forbid the friendship? Yell "For God the Father's sake, do not ask such questions!" when the inevitable question arises?

I'm not sure how I feel about an actual gay pride pep rally myself, however your flippant comment really took me back. Back to about 1951, June.

I would be the one to explain it, not the school.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like your'e going to get right on that...