LGBT Physicians, Obgyns and Reproductive Endocrinologists

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it rude to call out this doctor and name her on DCUM because you didn’t feel she was LGBT friendly enough. If she had made a statement against it - ok - but you admit she’s friendly and responsive. You certainly could have asked the question just as clearly without naming her personally. You sound very high maintenance.

And you sound like a typical bigoted asshole. Grow up and get off your priveleged high horse and be THANKFUL you don’t have to deal with this.

Calling someone a bigoted asshole because you don't agree is silly. You can't ask for special treatment by the dr and then also want to be treated as a normal patient.
I've had conditions related to a pregnancy that I have to remind them about every time. Anything out of the norm may require you remind them. I still don't think naming this doctor was necessary to this post at all. My privileged high horse delivers at a military facility where I don't get any say in who my OB is. There are lesbian couples delivering at the military facility and it's just fine, so IMO OP is being very particular. I think expecting your OB/reproductive endo to be understanding of the "dynamics in the parenting aspect" of LGBT couples is asking for a lot. Their job is to get you pregnant, not help you parent. Again if she wanted to ask for recommendations, it could have been done in a general manner, but nothing this dr did is wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to give you another perspective, I am a woman married to a man, but I have no ovaries and used donor eggs for all my pregnancies. I routinely need to remind OBs and other doctors that I can’t randomly get pregnant, don’t need birth control, have children who don’t share my genes, and clarify a myriad of other questions that don’t apply to me. I even have to remind my regular OB of this and I’ve had three children with her. What you are experiencing might have nothing to do with being LGBT and more to do with the fact that doctors have a series of standard questions they ask. I just clarify or ignore the ones that don’t apply to me.

+1 Drs just get in a routine, as we all do. If she's responsive and prompt, that's better than half the drs I've seen and I would just remind.

[Anonymous]

DCUM is great for many topics, but not so much on LGBT stuff. If you're straight and you feel that it's fine for providers not to be sensitive or supportive on LGBT issues, great, but that doesn't really help the OP. I would try to find a local facebook group for queer parents, or you could try reposting this question in the LGBT section of this board (doesn't tend to be super active, but you also only need a few replies).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM is great for many topics, but not so much on LGBT stuff. If you're straight and you feel that it's fine for providers not to be sensitive or supportive on LGBT issues, great, but that doesn't really help the OP. I would try to find a local facebook group for queer parents, or you could try reposting this question in the LGBT section of this board (doesn't tend to be super active, but you also only need a few replies).

I think what people are saying is that what the OP described doesn’t actually fall into the category of “not being sensitive or supportive on LGBT issues.” It falls into the category of needing to remind a doctor of certain differences in your reproductive strategies. Many people have differences around reproduction for various reasons. If a doctor listens respectfully and changes course when reminded of your differences, that is appropriate medical behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it rude to call out this doctor and name her on DCUM because you didn’t feel she was LGBT friendly enough. If she had made a statement against it - ok - but you admit she’s friendly and responsive. You certainly could have asked the question just as clearly without naming her personally. You sound very high maintenance.

And you sound like a typical bigoted asshole. Grow up and get off your priveleged high horse and be THANKFUL you don’t have to deal with this.

NP +1

--

OP, don't forget an LGBT friendly midwife and/or doula. They can be super helpful, especially in the hospital and in the postpartum period, because their main job is to advocate for you in the hospital, and to make you feel like you have an extra aunt once at home. Unfortunately, I don't have any local recommendations, but the GWU midwifery program has a great reputation. I used a Momease doula, but we're not a LGBT couple so I can't speak to that part directly; you could try emailing them and see if they can recommend someone: https://momease.com/labor-doula-services/

On a quick search, I found this link, which seems promising:
http://www.rainbowfamilies.org/

I also came across a few random names that might be helpful:

This person:
https://lgbt.columbian.gwu.edu/kaity-mol%C3%A9

Plus, presenters in this 2016 seminar held in DC, and entitled "Bending the Arc Toward Justice: From Health Disparities to Health Equity," the description of which mentions support to LGBT people. They are probably not based in DC but may know someone:

http://www.midwife.org/acnm/files/ccLibraryFiles/Filename/000000005448/AM2015-FP-FullVersion-FINAL-061115.pdf

Awesome that you tell someone to get off their privileged high horse while in the next sentence reminding the OP not to forget her speciality midwife and/or doula. Awesome.

[Anonymous]

She just sounds like an inattentive doctor. I swtiched OBs at nearly 30 weeks into my first pregnancy because I got tired of explaining my complicated situation to the same doctor every two weeks as if it were the very first time (my issue was diagnosed at 16 weeks).

[Anonymous]

Be careful about defamation of professionals who did absolutely nothing wrong to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it rude to call out this doctor and name her on DCUM because you didn’t feel she was LGBT friendly enough. If she had made a statement against it - ok - but you admit she’s friendly and responsive. You certainly could have asked the question just as clearly without naming her personally. You sound very high maintenance.

Said like someone who doesn’t have to deal with this issue.

I’ve had some medical issues and a pregnancy. Saw numerous doctors at Reiter, Johnson , and Hill with no issues. For basic stuff Radecki is wonderful, so is Nevin who also delivers babies. I went to GW for my pregnancy and saw a lot of doctors and there were no weird or redundant questions save for a post partum follow up with a doctor who I’d never seen before who asked about birth control very early in visit then was super apologetic when I told her I was married to a woman. Dr Nelson was my favorite there. Lesbian friends also go to GW and have had no issues.

Welcome to the area and good luck!

pp here - forgot to add that we did reciprocal IVF at Columbia Fertility Associates with Dr. Abbasi. She is a straight shooter but very thoughtful and creative. I’m convinced that we wouldn’t have a kid without her. Friends did both IUI and reciprocal IVF with Dr. Sacks and he’s super nice. Not sure about other doctor lbs there though I’d avoid Butler - that may be a personality thing though. I just didn’t like his vibe, he wasn’t compassionate and was really short and I was only seeing him briefly for a procedure because Abbasi was on vacation.

We also tried Shady Grove but they tried to talk us out of reciprocal IVF and would not treat us like a couple if we went that route and said that they would only bill insurance for one of us. Also the “egg” part of our couple would have to literally go through the egg donor program. Seemed both a little offensive and stupid to us and I wasn’t going to shell out tens of thousands of dollars to be treated questionably — the process is rough enough without that.

I am straight, but used Dr. Sacks at CFA on the rec of lesbian friends who had also used him. I found him excellent and he talked us into an ultimately successful lower-cost option when we were ready to move to IVF, so I absolutely trust his judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be careful about defamation of professionals who did absolutely nothing wrong to you.

Absolutely nothing OP said was even close to defamatory.

You should be careful about making vague legal threats on the internet, particularly when you don't know what you're talking about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be careful about defamation of professionals who did absolutely nothing wrong to you.

Absolutely nothing OP said was even close to defamatory.

You should be careful about making vague legal threats on the internet, particularly when you don't know what you're talking about.

https://newyork.cbslocal.com/2018/05/29/million-dollar-online-review-lawsuit/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to give you another perspective, I am a woman married to a man, but I have no ovaries and used donor eggs for all my pregnancies. I routinely need to remind OBs and other doctors that I can’t randomly get pregnant, don’t need birth control, have children who don’t share my genes, and clarify a myriad of other questions that don’t apply to me. I even have to remind my regular OB of this and I’ve had three children with her. What you are experiencing might have nothing to do with being LGBT and more to do with the fact that doctors have a series of standard questions they ask. I just clarify or ignore the ones that don’t apply to me.

MD/MPH here. Minority sexual health is a huge issue that communities must deal with as there is institutional homophobia, racism, religious or cultural issues present and that can lead to poor, insufficient, and incorrect medical care and treatment. Gay/lesbian/transgender people experience huge barriers to care, so OP has ever right to find a doctor that has experience to provide proper care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to give you another perspective, I am a woman married to a man, but I have no ovaries and used donor eggs for all my pregnancies. I routinely need to remind OBs and other doctors that I can’t randomly get pregnant, don’t need birth control, have children who don’t share my genes, and clarify a myriad of other questions that don’t apply to me. I even have to remind my regular OB of this and I’ve had three children with her. What you are experiencing might have nothing to do with being LGBT and more to do with the fact that doctors have a series of standard questions they ask. I just clarify or ignore the ones that don’t apply to me.

MD/MPH here. Minority sexual health is a huge issue that communities must deal with as there is institutional homophobia, racism, religious or cultural issues present and that can lead to poor, insufficient, and incorrect medical care and treatment. Gay/lesbian/transgender people experience huge barriers to care, so OP has ever right to find a doctor that has experience to provide proper care.

Also for those posters not familiar with this topic are here are some quick and easy reads:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5478215/

http://files.kff.org/attachment/Issue-Brief-Health-and-Access-to-Care-and-Coverage-for-LGBT-Individuals-in-the-US

https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/Improving-the-Health-of-LGBT-People.pdf

https://www.americanprogress.org/issues/lgbt/news/2018/01/18/445130/discrimination-prevents-lgbtq-people-accessing-health-care/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be careful about defamation of professionals who did absolutely nothing wrong to you.

Absolutely nothing OP said was even close to defamatory.

You should be careful about making vague legal threats on the internet, particularly when you don't know what you're talking about.

https://newyork.cbslocal.com/2018/05/29/million-dollar-online-review-lawsuit/

Sounds like that woman made things up out of anger from being overbilled and the doctor , who provided poor customer service in not fixing the over billing, sued . If you read the article it says that ‘truth is a good defense’ meaning that if you are telling the truth you cannot be died. OP is describing her experience truthfully and there’s no basis for a lawsuit. You sound terribly simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just to give you another perspective, I am a woman married to a man, but I have no ovaries and used donor eggs for all my pregnancies. I routinely need to remind OBs and other doctors that I can’t randomly get pregnant, don’t need birth control, have children who don’t share my genes, and clarify a myriad of other questions that don’t apply to me. I even have to remind my regular OB of this and I’ve had three children with her. What you are experiencing might have nothing to do with being LGBT and more to do with the fact that doctors have a series of standard questions they ask. I just clarify or ignore the ones that don’t apply to me.

MD/MPH here. Minority sexual health is a huge issue that communities must deal with as there is institutional homophobia, racism, religious or cultural issues present and that can lead to poor, insufficient, and incorrect medical care and treatment. Gay/lesbian/transgender people experience huge barriers to care, so OP has ever right to find a doctor that has experience to provide proper care.

I wouldn’t necessarily pick a gay man as a doctor either. After hearing a gay male doctor describe female anatomy as being ‘disgusting’ in great detail after his OB/gyn rotation, a lesbian friend clued me in to the fact that some gay men have some hatred issues towards women.
Choose carefully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be careful about defamation of professionals who did absolutely nothing wrong to you.

Absolutely nothing OP said was even close to defamatory.

You should be careful about making vague legal threats on the internet, particularly when you don't know what you're talking about.

https://newyork.cbslocal.com/2018/05/29/million-dollar-online-review-lawsuit/

Sounds like that woman made things up out of anger from being overbilled and the doctor , who provided poor customer service in not fixing the over billing, sued . If you read the article it says that ‘truth is a good defense’ meaning that if you are telling the truth you cannot be sued. OP is describing her experience truthfully and there’s no basis for a lawsuit. You sound terribly simple.