Never have sex again...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your desire for sex lower in general or is it just the guys you've dated that don't appeal to you? My first thought is that there might be a medical reason for your low sex drive. Might be worth checking out! Good luck!

Curious re your gender, age, marital status.

Some people have high or normal sex drives but have high standards about who they sleep with. Many women need to feel an emotional connection and be in a monogamous relationship in order to feel comfortable having sex with someone. That's normal. It doesn't require medical situation.

Op, hang in there. You will meet someone.

Not OP--I have a high sex drive but also a very high standard for who I have sex with. Therefore I am having sex with nobody (else) and maybe never will. There has to be a physical and emotional connection, I have to trust and respect them, and there should be some chemistry. So pretty much nobody qualifies these days. I am ok with that. You may think this means I do not have a high sex drive, but I would say my standards are just higher than my drive, I guess. I am older than most of you, so there's that too. Guys are not beating down my door either. So there's that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your desire for sex lower in general or is it just the guys you've dated that don't appeal to you? My first thought is that there might be a medical reason for your low sex drive. Might be worth checking out! Good luck!

Curious re your gender, age, marital status.

Some people have high or normal sex drives but have high standards about who they sleep with. Many women need to feel an emotional connection and be in a monogamous relationship in order to feel comfortable having sex with someone. That's normal. It doesn't require medical situation.

Op, hang in there. You will meet someone.

Not OP--I have a high sex drive but also a very high standard for who I have sex with. Therefore I am having sex with nobody (else) and maybe never will. There has to be a physical and emotional connection, I have to trust and respect them, and there should be some chemistry. So pretty much nobody qualifies these days. I am ok with that. You may think this means I do not have a high sex drive, but I would say my standards are just higher than my drive, I guess. I am older than most of you, so there's that too. Guys are not beating down my door either. So there's that.

No offense, but you really don’t know what a high drive even means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your desire for sex lower in general or is it just the guys you've dated that don't appeal to you? My first thought is that there might be a medical reason for your low sex drive. Might be worth checking out! Good luck!

Curious re your gender, age, marital status.

Some people have high or normal sex drives but have high standards about who they sleep with. Many women need to feel an emotional connection and be in a monogamous relationship in order to feel comfortable having sex with someone. That's normal. It doesn't require medical situation.

Op, hang in there. You will meet someone.

Not OP--I have a high sex drive but also a very high standard for who I have sex with. Therefore I am having sex with nobody (else) and maybe never will. There has to be a physical and emotional connection, I have to trust and respect them, and there should be some chemistry. So pretty much nobody qualifies these days. I am ok with that. You may think this means I do not have a high sex drive, but I would say my standards are just higher than my drive, I guess. I am older than most of you, so there's that too. Guys are not beating down my door either. So there's that.

No offense, but you really don’t know what a high drive even means.

What does it mean then? That you must have sex even if there is no tolerable partner available? If you have "high drive" you lower your standards when necessary?

[Anonymous]

^^ Adding on...here's why I think I have high drive. In my last relationship, which lasted three years, I wanted to have sex with him literally everyday. I was turned on if I heard his voice, if he walked in a room, if his car pulled in the driveway. I enjoyed every kind of sex with him. I wanted to have sex with him in random places. I thought about sex with him when he wasn't with me. For three straight years with no let up.

When I am not in a relationship, as now, I still think about sex often and am turned on by a few guys I see or know. However, I am not at all, and never have been, into sex with guys that I'm not in a relationship with. There are alternatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your desire for sex lower in general or is it just the guys you've dated that don't appeal to you? My first thought is that there might be a medical reason for your low sex drive. Might be worth checking out! Good luck!

Curious re your gender, age, marital status.

Some people have high or normal sex drives but have high standards about who they sleep with. Many women need to feel an emotional connection and be in a monogamous relationship in order to feel comfortable having sex with someone. That's normal. It doesn't require medical situation.

Op, hang in there. You will meet someone.

Not OP--I have a high sex drive but also a very high standard for who I have sex with. Therefore I am having sex with nobody (else) and maybe never will. There has to be a physical and emotional connection, I have to trust and respect them, and there should be some chemistry. So pretty much nobody qualifies these days. I am ok with that. You may think this means I do not have a high sex drive, but I would say my standards are just higher than my drive, I guess. I am older than most of you, so there's that too. Guys are not beating down my door either. So there's that.

No offense, but you really don’t know what a high drive even means.

What does it mean then? That you must have sex even if there is no tolerable partner available? If you have "high drive" you lower your standards when necessary?

No. It means you do not wait for a guy to beat down your door, you actively seek a partner. You spend hours searching and messaging OLD sites. You text your ex's. You initiate contact with total strangers. You overlook the fact that this other person is married (or you are). You keep going despite multiple rejections from people who meet your standard but not vice versa. All that annoying stuff that men do? THAT is high sex drive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your desire for sex lower in general or is it just the guys you've dated that don't appeal to you? My first thought is that there might be a medical reason for your low sex drive. Might be worth checking out! Good luck!

Curious re your gender, age, marital status.

Some people have high or normal sex drives but have high standards about who they sleep with. Many women need to feel an emotional connection and be in a monogamous relationship in order to feel comfortable having sex with someone. That's normal. It doesn't require medical situation.

Op, hang in there. You will meet someone.

Not OP--I have a high sex drive but also a very high standard for who I have sex with. Therefore I am having sex with nobody (else) and maybe never will. There has to be a physical and emotional connection, I have to trust and respect them, and there should be some chemistry. So pretty much nobody qualifies these days. I am ok with that. You may think this means I do not have a high sex drive, but I would say my standards are just higher than my drive, I guess. I am older than most of you, so there's that too. Guys are not beating down my door either. So there's that.

No offense, but you really don’t know what a high drive even means.

What does it mean then? That you must have sex even if there is no tolerable partner available? If you have "high drive" you lower your standards when necessary?

No. It means you do not wait for a guy to beat down your door, you actively seek a partner. You spend hours searching and messaging OLD sites. You text your ex's. You initiate contact with total strangers. You overlook the fact that this other person is married (or you are). You keep going despite multiple rejections from people who meet your standard but not vice versa. All that annoying stuff that men do? THAT is high sex drive!

What are you doing Saturday night? Asking for a friend...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ Adding on...here's why I think I have high drive. In my last relationship, which lasted three years, I wanted to have sex with him literally everyday. I was turned on if I heard his voice, if he walked in a room, if his car pulled in the driveway. I enjoyed every kind of sex with him. I wanted to have sex with him in random places. I thought about sex with him when he wasn't with me. For three straight years with no let up.

When I am not in a relationship, as now, I still think about sex often and am turned on by a few guys I see or know. However, I am not at all, and never have been, into sex with guys that I'm not in a relationship with. There are alternatives.

I am like this - high drive, but motivated for good sex and connection (which doesn't necessarily = long term relationship). Risky sex, i.e. non-monogamous, no mutually shared STD testing and unsafe sex practices equate to bad sex for me, and same with stranger sex. I would rather take care of my own sexual needs, because at least that is satisfying, rather than have bad, unsatisfying, sex.

I think the way other PPs are talking about being high drive is a very stereotypically culturally male view of sexual drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been dating a string of Match dates for 3 years now but met no one I'd want to have sex with. These guys are interested but I'm not. Should I just give up? Other ideas?

I've been there a few times and once in awhile I've slept with a guy simply because I was horny. I can't say I'm proud of it but I have no regrets. But it would sure be nice to find the one.

[Anonymous]

What does it mean then? That you must have sex even if there is no tolerable partner available? If you have "high drive" you lower your standards when necessary?

Interacting with, you know, real people for any reason involves lowering your standards when necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been dating a string of Match dates for 3 years now but met no one I'd want to have sex with. These guys are interested but I'm not. Should I just give up? Other ideas?

I've been there a few times and once in awhile I've slept with a guy simply because I was horny. I can't say I'm proud of it but I have no regrets. But it would sure be nice to find the one.

That's why I have a FWB. We live in different cities and get together about 4-5 times a year for fun weekends. We are not marriage material for each other but we have a good time together. It will end when one of us finds the right person and I know we'd both like for it to happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ Adding on...here's why I think I have high drive. In my last relationship, which lasted three years, I wanted to have sex with him literally everyday. I was turned on if I heard his voice, if he walked in a room, if his car pulled in the driveway. I enjoyed every kind of sex with him. I wanted to have sex with him in random places. I thought about sex with him when he wasn't with me. For three straight years with no let up.

When I am not in a relationship, as now, I still think about sex often and am turned on by a few guys I see or know. However, I am not at all, and never have been, into sex with guys that I'm not in a relationship with. There are alternatives.

I am like this - high drive, but motivated for good sex and connection (which doesn't necessarily = long term relationship). Risky sex, i.e. non-monogamous, no mutually shared STD testing and unsafe sex practices equate to bad sex for me, and same with stranger sex. I would rather take care of my own sexual needs, because at least that is satisfying, rather than have bad, unsatisfying, sex.

I think the way other PPs are talking about being high drive is a very stereotypically culturally male view of sexual drive.

Oh I see. Male "high drive" means putting in some actual effort, removing obstacles, initiating contact, facing rejection. But female "high drive" means you accept a few dates on Match but find conditions aren't 100% perfect with any of these guys, so you remain celibate for 3 years while you ponder never having sex again, and complain how a string of perfect guys isn't beating down your door. That's a funny definition of high drive!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your desire for sex lower in general or is it just the guys you've dated that don't appeal to you? My first thought is that there might be a medical reason for your low sex drive. Might be worth checking out! Good luck!

Curious re your gender, age, marital status.

Some people have high or normal sex drives but have high standards about who they sleep with. Many women need to feel an emotional connection and be in a monogamous relationship in order to feel comfortable having sex with someone. That's normal. It doesn't require medical situation.

Op, hang in there. You will meet someone.

Not OP--I have a high sex drive but also a very high standard for who I have sex with. Therefore I am having sex with nobody (else) and maybe never will. There has to be a physical and emotional connection, I have to trust and respect them, and there should be some chemistry. So pretty much nobody qualifies these days. I am ok with that. You may think this means I do not have a high sex drive, but I would say my standards are just higher than my drive, I guess. I am older than most of you, so there's that too. Guys are not beating down my door either. So there's that.

No offense, but you really don’t know what a high drive even means.

What does it mean then? That you must have sex even if there is no tolerable partner available? If you have "high drive" you lower your standards when necessary?

No. It means you do not wait for a guy to beat down your door, you actively seek a partner. You spend hours searching and messaging OLD sites. You text your ex's. You initiate contact with total strangers. You overlook the fact that this other person is married (or you are). You keep going despite multiple rejections from people who meet your standard but not vice versa. All that annoying stuff that men do? THAT is high sex drive!

No offense, but that sounds more like sex addiction than high drive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is your desire for sex lower in general or is it just the guys you've dated that don't appeal to you? My first thought is that there might be a medical reason for your low sex drive. Might be worth checking out! Good luck!

Curious re your gender, age, marital status.

Some people have high or normal sex drives but have high standards about who they sleep with. Many women need to feel an emotional connection and be in a monogamous relationship in order to feel comfortable having sex with someone. That's normal. It doesn't require medical situation.

Op, hang in there. You will meet someone.

Not OP--I have a high sex drive but also a very high standard for who I have sex with. Therefore I am having sex with nobody (else) and maybe never will. There has to be a physical and emotional connection, I have to trust and respect them, and there should be some chemistry. So pretty much nobody qualifies these days. I am ok with that. You may think this means I do not have a high sex drive, but I would say my standards are just higher than my drive, I guess. I am older than most of you, so there's that too. Guys are not beating down my door either. So there's that.

You sound just like my ex-wife.....