Men Marrying Up

[Anonymous]

I used to eat ranch
My wife drinks it from crystal
Yes, I married up

-Flip Driscoll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Happens in the AA community pretty consistently. Most of my friends are better educated than their husbands and outearn them (at least the first DH). And no, they aren’t marrying high school drop outs with criminal records. Just regular working class guys. Sometimes former military.

It can create an interesting dynamic in our social circle. These wives are more deferential in public than I’d expect because they don’t want to emasculate their DH. However, there is a lot less infidelity —maybe because the wives know every cent and where it goes.

I don't think this is due to a particular interest in "marrying up" among AA men. There's just an imbalance between the number of unmarried, educated AA women vs available, unmarried, educated AA men. AA men have an advantage here.

In general, men want to marry-up looks-wise and women want to marry-up socioeconomic status-wise. It's common to see women date older/less attractive men who have some kind of status or wealth. You rarely see the opposite. Though in DC, men seem more interested in a woman's socioeconomic status than in most places.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated a guy a couple of years off and on. I come from a middle class family, our assests are properties and other investments.

The guy I dated ended up marrying, a woman from a background of well-known family wealth.

So does financial status matter? Or could someone marry you for you?

i see it more of a trend this day. I work with few young guys and we talk a lot about personal stuff in the office (I am in my 40s, happily married). Few of them expressed that they would not marry someone with college debts who is planning to be SAHM. This is accomplished, high earning ($150K +) guys in their late 20s - mid 30s. One of them is looking to marry up like your ex.

[Anonymous]

“Few of them” or “a few of them”? They mean opposite things.

[Anonymous]

It is misogynistic for a man to marriage up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife was a poor illegal immigrant when we met. I married up.

-1

With today’s political climate, this is uncalled for.

Sadly, it’s not even a tad funny though I see the pathetic attack on humor.

What is wrong with what he said? He said even though his wife had no money or social status, he married up because of what a wonderful person she is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men could care less about how much the woman earns.

We do care about your sexual proclivity and your ability to shut up every once in a while.

Stop generalizing. Many men care most about the earning potential of women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men could care less about how much the woman earns.

We do care about your sexual proclivity and your ability to shut up every once in a while.

Stop generalizing. Many men care most about the earning potential of women.

As a rule, no we don’t. We care about your looks, personality, and interest in sex. Your job is your job.

[Anonymous]

^^even if your job is working as a waitress at Twin Peaks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men could care less about how much the woman earns.

We do care about your sexual proclivity and your ability to shut up every once in a while.

Stop generalizing. Many men care most about the earning potential of women.

As a rule, no we don’t. We care about your looks, personality, and interest in sex. Your job is your job.

I think this is generally true. I was a biglaw lawyer and my husband never cared. He was fine if I worked or quit, so long as I was happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they loved each other???

Yes they do, but that wasn’t my question. It was do men marry up? Does financial status factor in.

I had a friend’s old boyfriend tell her, “sorry your school debt is over 100k, I cannot marry into det”
Fair statement on his behalf

This is such a stupid question, as there is no universal answe to your yes or no question. Some men marry up and some don’t. It’s intentional for some who do and unintentional for others who do. Some are in love and some aren’t. Same for women. Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
This is such a stupid question, as there is no universal answe to your yes or no question. Some men marry up and some don’t. It’s intentional for some who do and unintentional for others who do. Some are in love and some aren’t. Same for women. Done.

The American female psyche is fascinating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dated a guy a couple of years off and on. I come from a middle class family, our assests are properties and other investments.

The guy I dated ended up marrying, a woman from a background of well-known family wealth.

So does financial status matter? Or could someone marry you for you?

What a materialistic, misogynistic pig. Marrying for wealth / earning potential is something only women are allowed to do.