Tell me about being pregnant at 42

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was 43 when she had me. I didn't really like it TBH. Its the other side of the issue this board never shows. When I was 15/16/17 my parents were getting old and really didn't have anything in common with my friends parents. People claim it doesn't matter but it mattered to me. They dressed older, they moved slower, and they started coming down with (manageable) but age related health conditions. They were active, fit, and working but they were active, fit and working 60 year olds. Thats much different than 45 years old as most of my friends parents were. Also when I turned 30 and had my own kids my mom was 73 and definitely past her prime. She didn't die till 83 but my oldest was still only 10 and youngest was 4. I would have loved to have some more active years on that end of the spectrum too.

I am confused. You would rather not have been born? OP can't turn back time and have her second child at 25.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was 43 when she had me. I didn't really like it TBH. Its the other side of the issue this board never shows. When I was 15/16/17 my parents were getting old and really didn't have anything in common with my friends parents. People claim it doesn't matter but it mattered to me. They dressed older, they moved slower, and they started coming down with (manageable) but age related health conditions. They were active, fit, and working but they were active, fit and working 60 year olds. Thats much different than 45 years old as most of my friends parents were. Also when I turned 30 and had my own kids my mom was 73 and definitely past her prime. She didn't die till 83 but my oldest was still only 10 and youngest was 4. I would have loved to have some more active years on that end of the spectrum too.

I am confused. You would rather not have been born? OP can't turn back time and have her second child at 25.

Agree. It's too late now. My mom had me at 38 and I have similar thoughts - I hate that my parents won't see my kids graduate from high school although I'm lucky as they are still very active now in their mid-70s. That said, here I am at 37 yo and having a kid this year. My mom laughed as I gave her grief about having me so late, but of course I'm still happy I'm here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was 43 when she had me. I didn't really like it TBH. Its the other side of the issue this board never shows. When I was 15/16/17 my parents were getting old and really didn't have anything in common with my friends parents. People claim it doesn't matter but it mattered to me. They dressed older, they moved slower, and they started coming down with (manageable) but age related health conditions. They were active, fit, and working but they were active, fit and working 60 year olds. Thats much different than 45 years old as most of my friends parents were. Also when I turned 30 and had my own kids my mom was 73 and definitely past her prime. She didn't die till 83 but my oldest was still only 10 and youngest was 4. I would have loved to have some more active years on that end of the spectrum too.

I am confused. You would rather not have been born? OP can't turn back time and have her second child at 25.

Agree. It's too late now. My mom had me at 38 and I have similar thoughts - I hate that my parents won't see my kids graduate from high school although I'm lucky as they are still very active now in their mid-70s. That said, here I am at 37 yo and having a kid this year. My mom laughed as I gave her grief about having me so late, but of course I'm still happy I'm here

Sorry- I meant its too late now to turn back time. NOT too late to have a baby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was 43 when she had me. I didn't really like it TBH. Its the other side of the issue this board never shows. When I was 15/16/17 my parents were getting old and really didn't have anything in common with my friends parents. People claim it doesn't matter but it mattered to me. They dressed older, they moved slower, and they started coming down with (manageable) but age related health conditions. They were active, fit, and working but they were active, fit and working 60 year olds. Thats much different than 45 years old as most of my friends parents were. Also when I turned 30 and had my own kids my mom was 73 and definitely past her prime. She didn't die till 83 but my oldest was still only 10 and youngest was 4. I would have loved to have some more active years on that end of the spectrum too.

I am confused. You would rather not have been born? OP can't turn back time and have her second child at 25.

She can have an opinion on her life. OP is weighing the options and its good insight. Doesn't mean she wishes she wasn't born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was 43 when she had me. I didn't really like it TBH. Its the other side of the issue this board never shows. When I was 15/16/17 my parents were getting old and really didn't have anything in common with my friends parents. People claim it doesn't matter but it mattered to me. They dressed older, they moved slower, and they started coming down with (manageable) but age related health conditions. They were active, fit, and working but they were active, fit and working 60 year olds. Thats much different than 45 years old as most of my friends parents were. Also when I turned 30 and had my own kids my mom was 73 and definitely past her prime. She didn't die till 83 but my oldest was still only 10 and youngest was 4. I would have loved to have some more active years on that end of the spectrum too.

This is not a reason not to get pregnant. Some people lose their parents when they are 10 years old, you can't plan for this at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was 43 when she had me. I didn't really like it TBH. Its the other side of the issue this board never shows. When I was 15/16/17 my parents were getting old and really didn't have anything in common with my friends parents. People claim it doesn't matter but it mattered to me. They dressed older, they moved slower, and they started coming down with (manageable) but age related health conditions. They were active, fit, and working but they were active, fit and working 60 year olds. Thats much different than 45 years old as most of my friends parents were. Also when I turned 30 and had my own kids my mom was 73 and definitely past her prime. She didn't die till 83 but my oldest was still only 10 and youngest was 4. I would have loved to have some more active years on that end of the spectrum too.

OP here. I'm really glad you're talkiby about this. Kids of older parents invariably seem to feel this way. Not much we can do now for our son but part of my rationale is to give home a sibling to share that stress with instead of having to weather it solo.

[Anonymous]

I suppose if a person had an exceptionally bad family history, it would be something to consider more. In the end, if you had good parents, you always wish you had more time with them. I doubt in DC or other urban areas that a mom who had a kid in her early 40s will be noticeably older than everyone else's parents. And there can definitely be benefits to having kids at 40 as opposed to 20s or even early 30s, e.g., stability and financial position. Not to diminish the PP remarks, or that it wouldn't have been nicer if she thought her parents fit in, but a teenage perspective isn't a mature one and while it might be something you'd consider how you'd address should it come up, it doesn't seem like it would factor into your decision.

[Anonymous]

You had a baby at 40. It won't be that much different.

[Anonymous]

I had our one and only after several years of infertility at 43. It was rough, I was tired and the last trimester of 2 doc appointments a week was grueling while stressing about leave.
Fast forward almost two years and I wish I could have another! This was the best choice we ever made. Our child brings so much joy into our lives and was worth all the trips to the infertility clinic, the years of heartbreak trying and who cares that I almost want to stay on the floor and never get up once I'm down there playing with her? She loves me and I love her.
Good Luck, OP. You can do it~

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had our one and only after several years of infertility at 43. It was rough, I was tired and the last trimester of 2 doc appointments a week was grueling while stressing about leave.
Fast forward almost two years and I wish I could have another! This was the best choice we ever made. Our child brings so much joy into our lives and was worth all the trips to the infertility clinic, the years of heartbreak trying and who cares that I almost want to stay on the floor and never get up once I'm down there playing with her? She loves me and I love her.
Good Luck, OP. You can do it~

All the heart emojis for this!! Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You had a baby at 40. It won't be that much different.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was 43 when she had me. I didn't really like it TBH. Its the other side of the issue this board never shows. When I was 15/16/17 my parents were getting old and really didn't have anything in common with my friends parents. People claim it doesn't matter but it mattered to me. They dressed older, they moved slower, and they started coming down with (manageable) but age related health conditions. They were active, fit, and working but they were active, fit and working 60 year olds. Thats much different than 45 years old as most of my friends parents were. Also when I turned 30 and had my own kids my mom was 73 and definitely past her prime. She didn't die till 83 but my oldest was still only 10 and youngest was 4. I would have loved to have some more active years on that end of the spectrum too.

OP here. I'm really glad you're talkiby about this. Kids of older parents invariably seem to feel this way. Not much we can do now for our son but part of my rationale is to give home a sibling to share that stress with instead of having to weather it solo.

Hey OP, I’m a child of older parents (late 30’s/early 40’s), and I don’t feel this way! I think having young kids in their forties helped my parents stay young. We’ve been really lucky; both of my parents are still healthy, and many of my peers with younger parents have already lost one or both parents. There’s no guarantee, of course, but just wanted to share a different perspective!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was 43 when she had me. I didn't really like it TBH. Its the other side of the issue this board never shows. When I was 15/16/17 my parents were getting old and really didn't have anything in common with my friends parents. People claim it doesn't matter but it mattered to me. They dressed older, they moved slower, and they started coming down with (manageable) but age related health conditions. They were active, fit, and working but they were active, fit and working 60 year olds. Thats much different than 45 years old as most of my friends parents were. Also when I turned 30 and had my own kids my mom was 73 and definitely past her prime. She didn't die till 83 but my oldest was still only 10 and youngest was 4. I would have loved to have some more active years on that end of the spectrum too.

OP here. I'm really glad you're talkiby about this. Kids of older parents invariably seem to feel this way. Not much we can do now for our son but part of my rationale is to give home a sibling to share that stress with instead of having to weather it solo.

Hey OP, I’m a child of older parents (late 30’s/early 40’s), and I don’t feel this way! I think having young kids in their forties helped my parents stay young. We’ve been really lucky; both of my parents are still healthy, and many of my peers with younger parents have already lost one or both parents. There’s no guarantee, of course, but just wanted to share a different perspective!

same here - a child of older parents (39, 42) and never felt this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom was 43 when she had me. I didn't really like it TBH. Its the other side of the issue this board never shows. When I was 15/16/17 my parents were getting old and really didn't have anything in common with my friends parents. People claim it doesn't matter but it mattered to me. They dressed older, they moved slower, and they started coming down with (manageable) but age related health conditions. They were active, fit, and working but they were active, fit and working 60 year olds. Thats much different than 45 years old as most of my friends parents were. Also when I turned 30 and had my own kids my mom was 73 and definitely past her prime. She didn't die till 83 but my oldest was still only 10 and youngest was 4. I would have loved to have some more active years on that end of the spectrum too.

I am confused. You would rather not have been born? OP can't turn back time and have her second child at 25.

She can have an opinion on her life. OP is weighing the options and its good insight. Doesn't mean she wishes she wasn't born.

but the options OP is weighing is whether to have a child or not, not whether to have him at 25 vs 42. that ship has sailed.

[Anonymous]

Op being pregnant at 42 is a piece of cake compared to having a 10 year old at 52