Elderly Aunt divorcing, no will at present

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. I think OP is concerned that if the aunt dies, a third of her property will go to her husband, and since they have been separated for decades, there is likely someone else she'd like the property to go to. I assume OP is just trying to keep anything from going to the husband. Being husband on paper is good enough for him to inherit.

maybe her aunt wants it that way. it's really not op to worry about or decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you trying to make sure you get something after she dies?

+1. Can’t figure out what one has to do with the other besides.

No, I won’t receive anything. Nor do I wish to. She has a number of children, grandchildren, and three great-grands. Two of her children have special needs and she supports them outside of their SSI. I hope to help things go smoothly when she passes for the sake of those two cousins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. I think OP is concerned that if the aunt dies, a third of her property will go to her husband, and since they have been separated for decades, there is likely someone else she'd like the property to go to. I assume OP is just trying to keep anything from going to the husband. Being husband on paper is good enough for him to inherit.

maybe her aunt wants it that way. it's really not op to worry about or decide.

This is the case in MD. My aunt doesn’t want her husband to inherit. He has not helped her financially since they separated thirty some years ago although they then had minor children. Two of their kids still rely on her financially due to learning disabilities and mental illness. She wants to protect them, but is being penny wise and pound foolish about the lawyer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg people, everyone should have a will. OP is just trying to help her aunt get her sh!t together.

OP I can’t answer your question on the timing, but good luck!

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. I think OP is concerned that if the aunt dies, a third of her property will go to her husband, and since they have been separated for decades, there is likely someone else she'd like the property to go to. I assume OP is just trying to keep anything from going to the husband. Being husband on paper is good enough for him to inherit.

maybe her aunt wants it that way. it's really not op to worry about or decide.

This is the case in MD. My aunt doesn’t want her husband to inherit. He has not helped her financially since they separated thirty some years ago although they then had minor children. Two of their kids still rely on her financially due to learning disabilities and mental illness. She wants to protect them, but is being penny wise and pound foolish about the lawyer.

Preparing a will is not that expensive. Are you willing to pay for her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. I think OP is concerned that if the aunt dies, a third of her property will go to her husband, and since they have been separated for decades, there is likely someone else she'd like the property to go to. I assume OP is just trying to keep anything from going to the husband. Being husband on paper is good enough for him to inherit.

maybe her aunt wants it that way. it's really not op to worry about or decide.

This is the case in MD. My aunt doesn’t want her husband to inherit. He has not helped her financially since they separated thirty some years ago although they then had minor children. Two of their kids still rely on her financially due to learning disabilities and mental illness. She wants to protect them, but is being penny wise and pound foolish about the lawyer.

Preparing a will is not that expensive. Are you willing to pay for her?

OP cares but not THAT much. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:New poster here. I think OP is concerned that if the aunt dies, a third of her property will go to her husband, and since they have been separated for decades, there is likely someone else she'd like the property to go to. I assume OP is just trying to keep anything from going to the husband. Being husband on paper is good enough for him to inherit.

maybe her aunt wants it that way. it's really not op to worry about or decide.

This is the case in MD. My aunt doesn’t want her husband to inherit. He has not helped her financially since they separated thirty some years ago although they then had minor children. Two of their kids still rely on her financially due to learning disabilities and mental illness. She wants to protect them, but is being penny wise and pound foolish about the lawyer.

Preparing a will is not that expensive. Are you willing to pay for her?

OP cares but not THAT much. LOL

Actually, I would. We had a quote for my mom of $500, so I figure my aunt’s would be in same range. She isn’t adverse to a lawyer for a will, just the divorce because she thinks the $5k retainer is a waste for simple paperwork that the legal clinic helped her complete. I only find it frustrating because I am asked to help her, but I’m not a lawyer, I’m working full-time, and I have a child.

My question is really about whether or not she should put off the will until after the divorce. In MD, she can’t disinherit her legal spouse. If she writes a will now, she will need a new one in 3 mos hopefully. The money for drawing up the will is not relevant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you trying to make sure you get something after she dies?

+1. Can’t figure out what one has to do with the other besides.

You guys ever had to deal with the estate of someone who doesn't have a will? I have. It's a huge pain. I'm assuming that OP will be the one to deal with the aunt's estate so of course OP wants to make sure there is a will in place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you trying to make sure you get something after she dies?

+1. Can’t figure out what one has to do with the other besides.

No, I won’t receive anything. Nor do I wish to. She has a number of children, grandchildren, and three great-grands. Two of her children have special needs and she supports them outside of their SSI. I hope to help things go smoothly when she passes for the sake of those two cousins.

Oh my god and she doesn't have a will? Not an expert but I would be really concerned that the two children will have to deal with massive delays to get their inheritance if she doesn't have a will. FFS, ppl, this is about making things easier for those kids.

Just a guess on my part - so take everything I say with a grain of salt - but it might be worth it to do the will now and then redo it after the divorce. But I'm a very cautious person. At any rate, she needs a friggin' will. Does she think probate court will just hand her special needs children the money they need to live the week after she dies without a will? Doubt it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you trying to make sure you get something after she dies?

+1. Can’t figure out what one has to do with the other besides.

You guys ever had to deal with the estate of someone who doesn't have a will? I have. It's a huge pain. I'm assuming that OP will be the one to deal with the aunt's estate so of course OP wants to make sure there is a will in place.

I should add that my MIL had a will but it wasn't signed by witnesses so dh had to go through probate court anyway. It was a drag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you trying to make sure you get something after she dies?

+1. Can’t figure out what one has to do with the other besides.

No, I won’t receive anything. Nor do I wish to. She has a number of children, grandchildren, and three great-grands. Two of her children have special needs and she supports them outside of their SSI. I hope to help things go smoothly when she passes for the sake of those two cousins.

Oh my god and she doesn't have a will? Not an expert but I would be really concerned that the two children will have to deal with massive delays to get their inheritance if she doesn't have a will. FFS, ppl, this is about making things easier for those kids.

Just a guess on my part - so take everything I say with a grain of salt - but it might be worth it to do the will now and then redo it after the divorce. But I'm a very cautious person. At any rate, she needs a friggin' will. Does she think probate court will just hand her special needs children the money they need to live the week after she dies without a will? Doubt it.

Yes, this is my concern. Their father never supported them as minors. There is no reasonable expectation that he will lift a finger to aid them when their mother passes. They can handle the daily responsibilities of independent living like cleaning and cooking, but neither has ever kept even a menial job for long due to their limitations. They are in their forties. My aunt worked as a city employee for 45 years to support them and buy a modest two bedroom home. It appraised under $125k recently, but it is all she has outside of a tiny pension and tinier savings. My uncle lived the life he wanted free of responsibilities for three decades. He should not be rewarded if she predeceases him.

[Anonymous]

Don’t worry about the will. Worry about the marital estate and dividing it up in a written settlement agreement. That agreement will confirm that each party waives all estate rights in the event the other party dies. Doing the will first won’t help. Maryland has the elective share statute. That means that he could elect to take what is in her will or a set portion of her estate. If she left him zero, the elective share statute means he doesn’t get zero...since he’d elect to take the percentage he’s entitled to as the surviving spouse. A written settlement agreement eliminates this.

- a divorce lawyer

[Anonymous]

Estate lawyer here (though not in MD). I (unsurprisingly) agree with PP who said everyone needs a will.

However, with two adult children on SSDI, this is not going to be a $500 will. She should be sure she goes to someone who only does estate planning and who is experienced with special needs issues. Most lawyers who write wills as part of their practice are not.

It can take a while to get good documents drafted. She should start the process now and then decide with her lawyer when to finalize them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you trying to make sure you get something after she dies?

+1. Can’t figure out what one has to do with the other besides.

No, I won’t receive anything. Nor do I wish to. She has a number of children, grandchildren, and three great-grands. Two of her children have special needs and she supports them outside of their SSI. I hope to help things go smoothly when she passes for the sake of those two cousins.

Oh my god and she doesn't have a will? Not an expert but I would be really concerned that the two children will have to deal with massive delays to get their inheritance if she doesn't have a will. FFS, ppl, this is about making things easier for those kids.

Just a guess on my part - so take everything I say with a grain of salt - but it might be worth it to do the will now and then redo it after the divorce. But I'm a very cautious person. At any rate, she needs a friggin' will. Does she think probate court will just hand her special needs children the money they need to live the week after she dies without a will? Doubt it.

Yes, this is my concern. Their father never supported them as minors. There is no reasonable expectation that he will lift a finger to aid them when their mother passes. They can handle the daily responsibilities of independent living like cleaning and cooking, but neither has ever kept even a menial job for long due to their limitations. They are in their forties. My aunt worked as a city employee for 45 years to support them and buy a modest two bedroom home. It appraised under $125k recently, but it is all she has outside of a tiny pension and tinier savings. My uncle lived the life he wanted free of responsibilities for three decades. He should not be rewarded if she predeceases him.

The amount of savings is, probably, why she doesn't care to have a will, especially, paying to have a will. She could have had a handwritten one if she cared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:isn't elderly

You are crazy.

And you are under 30, right?

I'm not under 30. 70s is elderly, especially upper 70s. There is a huge, dramatic decline from 70 to 79, even for the most active and healthy.