Eating dinner at 8 p.m. - 8:30 -- too late for a 3 yo and a 6 yo?

[Anonymous]

OP back again ... to be clear, nobody in this family naps. The kids sleep from 9ish to 7. The older child seems energetic enough and content, and the younger is a mess a lot of the time. Low frustration tolerance, screaming, falling apart, that kind of thing.

This particular family's calculus is that it's more important to eat together as mom, dad, and kids than it is to get the sleep recommended for a 3 year old. Oh, and that it's OK to make a preschooler wait to eat until 8:15 p.m., because that's when Mom is ready to eat.

[Anonymous]

Haha op your true judging colors are coming out now.

[Anonymous]

I'm totally judging, I never denied that. I think what they do to their 3 yo is wrong. The reason I posted is, I wonder how common this is in the DC area?

[Anonymous]

OP, That is too late for both children but especially the 3-year old.

[Anonymous]

I solved the problem this way: I eat dinner with my 3-year old at 6:00. When DH comes home at 7:30 we all sit down together and give thanks. DH eats his dinner while I drink tea and DD gets to eat her dessert. She is in bed by 8:15 (still too late, I think, but not so bad).

[Anonymous]

My 3 and 5 year old routinely eat at 7:30... and sometimes 8. They routinely go to bed at almost 9.

They are both still napping (about an hour) some days, but not every day. They get up around 7.

Honestly, my 3 year old has always needed very little sleep. If he naps more than an hour, he sometimes won't fall asleep until closer to 10 p.m.! And, while he is generally a happy kid, he has far more meltdowns than his brother. I believe because that is just who he is. He is an emotional kid. Its his older brother (ironically) who needs more sleep. The 5 year old sleeps later in the mornings, and is quicker to fall asleep at night.

And yes, this schedule is brought on by our family priorities and needs. I get home early enough that I could fix dinner earlier... but I prefer to play with them while its still light out. I think eating together is important, and sometimes my husband isn't home until 6:30, at which point we both take 30 minutes to unwind and talk to each other. So dinner sometimes doesn't get started until 7.

My kids are not starving. They eat a snack around 4 if they're hungry. Nor are they sleep deprived.

Seriously OP -- why all the judgment for your neighbors? someone mentioned Spain... they routinely don't eat dinner until 9 -- do you see a lot of unhappy Spanish kids?

Different kids need different things. You equate the 3 year old's meltdowns to his schedule: maybe it is and maybe it isn't. Worry about your own kids and stop with the judging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seriously OP -- why all the judgment for your neighbors? someone mentioned Spain... they routinely don't eat dinner until 9 -- do you see a lot of unhappy Spanish kids?

Different kids need different things. You equate the 3 year old's meltdowns to his schedule: maybe it is and maybe it isn't. Worry about your own kids and stop with the judging.

I agree with this. I cannot begin to imagine why there is so much judgment about what time parents put their kids to bed at night. My SIL made her kids go to bed at 7 every night when they were toddlers/preschoolers. She did it so that she (a SAHM) could have some evening time to herself. (At least, that was her articulated reason). But, I suspect that her kids slept 11-12 hours at night or else this would not have worked. My 2 yo sleeps 9-10 hours tops at night no matter what time he goes to bed -- and he never slept as many hours as the books said he should even when he was a newborn. So he goes to bed 8:30-9 or so, so he will wake up 6-7 a.m. He takes a 2 hour nap every day as well. Different kids sleep different amounts and at different times (some nap, some don't) despite what is recommended. Every family has to find what works for them, and if the parents in this house prioritize having dinner together (which studies show is a good thing for kids) who are you to say they should put their 3yo to bed at 7?

I'm judgmental about a lot of things, but sleep is not one size fits all.

[Anonymous]

My family gets home late, due to work issue and our commute, and we have always eaten late, anywhere from 7:30 to 8:30. But this is all my dd4 has ever known so it works for us. She goes to bed in the 9 pm hour and gets up for 7, plus takes a nap during the day. Sometimes what works for one family doesn't work for another. And sometimes it is what it is. For us it isn't done because I just want to postpone dinner, it's done because we aren't home early and never have been.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a little late OP, our pediatrician told us that having food in the tummy interferes with sleep in older kids. That being said my toddler eats late maybe once a week due to scheduling, but not he isn't in bed an hour later.