Niece's birthday party

[Anonymous]

Your SIL is graciously including the other little girl. You behaved poorly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the first year she's even invited us so I guess that has a lot to do with my reaction.

Good things are good. Being invited was a good thing...

...then you made it bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother's wife text me letting me know that she doesn't have all the details yet but she wanted to let me know the date of my niece's party. I say ok but then she tells me that it's a joint birthday party for my niece and her sister's boyfriend's daughter who is turning the same age. I've never even met this little girl. I text her and asked if we could just have 2 different parties and SIL says "No. I'm throwing 1 party. Larla will be in town and is going to be part of the family and I can't just leave her out. Come, don't come. I don't care but I'm not making special arrangements for a grown woman." I don't know how to respond.

Please tell me you are a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother's wife text me letting me know that she doesn't have all the details yet but she wanted to let me know the date of my niece's party. I say ok but then she tells me that it's a joint birthday party for my niece and her sister's boyfriend's daughter who is turning the same age. I've never even met this little girl. I text her and asked if we could just have 2 different parties and SIL says "No. I'm throwing 1 party. Larla will be in town and is going to be part of the family and I can't just leave her out. Come, don't come. I don't care but I'm not making special arrangements for a grown woman." I don't know how to respond.

Please tell me you are a troll.

I just don't understand her expecting us to buy presents and celebrate a stranger's birthday.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother's wife text me letting me know that she doesn't have all the details yet but she wanted to let me know the date of my niece's party. I say ok but then she tells me that it's a joint birthday party for my niece and her sister's boyfriend's daughter who is turning the same age. I've never even met this little girl. I text her and asked if we could just have 2 different parties and SIL says "No. I'm throwing 1 party. Larla will be in town and is going to be part of the family and I can't just leave her out. Come, don't come. I don't care but I'm not making special arrangements for a grown woman." I don't know how to respond.

Please tell me you are a troll.

I just don't understand her expecting us to buy presents and celebrate a stranger's birthday.

You are horrible, op. But your sil already knows this.

Get a $10 gift, smile, etc.

What is the alternative? Your sil ignore the bday of a little girl who is visiting? Your sil sounds considerate and fed up.

Stop being difficult.

[Anonymous]

Team SIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother's wife text me letting me know that she doesn't have all the details yet but she wanted to let me know the date of my niece's party. I say ok but then she tells me that it's a joint birthday party for my niece and her sister's boyfriend's daughter who is turning the same age. I've never even met this little girl. I text her and asked if we could just have 2 different parties and SIL says "No. I'm throwing 1 party. Larla will be in town and is going to be part of the family and I can't just leave her out. Come, don't come. I don't care but I'm not making special arrangements for a grown woman." I don't know how to respond.

Please tell me you are a troll.

I just don't understand her expecting us to buy presents and celebrate a stranger's birthday.

She doesn't expect you to do anything. You were invited, but you can just stay home and no one will care. With the PP in hoping for a troll 'cause nobody is that classless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how to respond.

You: "So sorry - my fingers moved quicker than my brain. Apologies for that thoughtless response. Of course, I'll be there. Anything I can bring to help out?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother's wife text me letting me know that she doesn't have all the details yet but she wanted to let me know the date of my niece's party. I say ok but then she tells me that it's a joint birthday party for my niece and her sister's boyfriend's daughter who is turning the same age. I've never even met this little girl. I text her and asked if we could just have 2 different parties and SIL says "No. I'm throwing 1 party. Larla will be in town and is going to be part of the family and I can't just leave her out. Come, don't come. I don't care but I'm not making special arrangements for a grown woman." I don't know how to respond.

Please tell me you are a troll.

I just don't understand her expecting us to buy presents and celebrate a stranger's birthday.

We celebrated many joint birthdays. Nobody thought that it means buying presents for both.

[Anonymous]

“Celebrate a stranger’s birthday”? So don’t sing if you don’t want and don’t eat cake but it’s not like you’re being asked to dress up like a clown and put on a show to “celebrate a stranger”!! You don’t have to buy the other child a gift. But it would be nice to take the high road and pick up a $5 grocery store toy. She acknowledges that little girl as her niece and you basically told her to ditch them for your own purposes.

[Anonymous]

I’m addition to all of the above, I can’t believe you said, “can’t we do two parties...” as if you’d be contributing and helping and hosting.

[Anonymous]

But the real question is, will the mexican nanny and her non english speaking extended family be hosting the party?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My brother's wife text me letting me know that she doesn't have all the details yet but she wanted to let me know the date of my niece's party. I say ok but then she tells me that it's a joint birthday party for my niece and her sister's boyfriend's daughter who is turning the same age. I've never even met this little girl. I text her and asked if we could just have 2 different parties and SIL says "No. I'm throwing 1 party. Larla will be in town and is going to be part of the family and I can't just leave her out. Come, don't come. I don't care but I'm not making special arrangements for a grown woman." I don't know how to respond.

Please tell me you are a troll.

I just don't understand her expecting us to buy presents and celebrate a stranger's birthday.

We celebrated many joint birthdays. Nobody thought that it means buying presents for both.

Except in this case it sounds like a little girl is celebrating her birthday as an add-on to a birthday party with a bunch of people she doesn't know, unlike two siblings each inviting their own friends, so yes you absolutely bring her a present as well (or don't attend/bring any at all) so she doesn't feel even more left out.

[Anonymous]

WTF, OP. You seriously asked your SIL if she could make different party arrangements for her kid so that you weren’t forced to celebrate a stranger’s birthday while you were celebrating her kid’s birthday? The other little girl is functionally her niece. She’s probably trying extra hard because it’s technically her future step niece or maybe not even formally that. It’s such a nice gesture on her part and you were such a bitch. I actually don’t think her text message was overreacting at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You shouldn't have asked that. SIL shouldn't have snapped at you

Why shouldn’t SIL have snapped? I actually can’t see how you could interpret OP’s question as anything other than saying she was too special a snowflake to celebrate the other kid. Maybe you could read it as judging the other little girl as not real family? I just can’t read it in even a neutral way. Who would ever ask that question?