Gentle way to let grandparents know about college fund?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Isn't it also true that having it in a grandparent's name is better when applying for financial aid (with the cost of college these days - I think most parents do try to at least get some aid and it isn't embarrassing to admit)? Meaning if the people determining if my husband and I do get some aid the savings in the savings plan would factor into how much we are granted where as if it is in a grandparent name then that doesn't get reported/ looked into. I think saying to grandparents if we pay you $50.00 a month with the agreement that you put it into this savings plan for our child (your grandchild) that is more than understandable. Plus they would get the tax benefit. If you are lucky and if your parents/ in-laws can do it they might say "oh we will take care of this as a gift to the little one" or even "sure we will do that and add an additional $25.00". Even if they just agree to accepting your money and setting it up in their name that is helpful in itself. I of course am a big talker - my DH and I have been talking about this for three years and have yet to set it up for our 3 year old. I am having number two in a few weeks and this is on my maternity leave to do list.

It isn't necessarily better to have the accound in a grandparent's name - see here for reasons: http://www.savingforcollege.com/bankrate_articles/article.php?article_id=80

Great point. Doesn't sound worth it. Or at least it's a lot more to consider.

[Anonymous]

I think if OP's parents and in-laws were interested in contributing to college savings, they would do so, regardless of the existence of any 529 or other plan. My grandparents contributed to my college savings by giving money every birthday and christmas. They made it known to my parents that the money was for college.

[Anonymous]

12:38 - I agree. I'm appalled at the idea of asking for money, period. No matter HOW much you are asking for; OR how much you THINK people have! Are these the same people that ask for money for weddings - "tactfully", of course. Holy cow! WHERE were your parents when you asked ANYONE for money?!? They should have been there saying -"oh no, you don't..."

I have to say, most kids THINK they are involved in their IL's and/or parents estate planning, only to find out the IL's and/or parents have left their own hard earned money to either other people or other institutions! Is it any wonder?!?!

Let me get this straight, you don't have the "kind of relationship" to outright ask your parents for money (which you shouldn't do, anyway), yet you "have the kind of relationship" to expect money? Is this for real?

The lesson (which should have been taught by the parnets to begin with!): DON'T COUNT OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY!

Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:12:38 - I agree. I'm appalled at the idea of asking for money, period. No matter HOW much you are asking for; OR how much you THINK people have! Are these the same people that ask for money for weddings - "tactfully", of course. Holy cow! WHERE were your parents when you asked ANYONE for money?!? They should have been there saying -"oh no, you don't..."

I have to say, most kids THINK they are involved in their IL's and/or parents estate planning, only to find out the IL's and/or parents have left their own hard earned money to either other people or other institutions! Is it any wonder?!?!

Let me get this straight, you don't have the "kind of relationship" to outright ask your parents for money (which you shouldn't do, anyway), yet you "have the kind of relationship" to expect money? Is this for real?

The lesson (which should have been taught by the parnets to begin with!): DON'T COUNT OTHER PEOPLE'S MONEY!

Good luck, OP!

Most kids? Really?

[Anonymous]

I do think if the grandparents were interested in helping, they probably would have mentioned it themselves. BUT I know my parent expressed an interest in giving us money for college for my son but said they did not want to unless we had an official college account set up, because they didn't want us just spending the money (there's really no reason for them not to trust us, but I don't really blame them). So they were actually the reason we set up our account. So it is possible that the grandparents aren't forking over college money because they don't want it just to be spent on random stuff. So maybe there is a way to just let it be known that you have an account without asking for money.

[Anonymous]

I would let them know about it casually but also expect they may prefer to give gifts or even to give money for other purposes.

My wealthy inlaws have never given my kids any money, with the exception of giving a moderate amount to the 3rd when he was born. They have been generous with us, but my MIL insists on buying tons of ridiculously expensive Ralph Lauren clothes from Bloomingdales for the kids for every occasion. (I'm not kidding - that is the only store she shops in and the only brand she will buy for the kids. She doesn't think it's nuts to put a pair of $45 white RL pants on a 2-yr old boy. I buy the rest of their clothes in Target.)

My parents are not wealthy but they are also generous with my kids. They give small amounts of money for birthdays/holidays in addition to gifts but they want that money to belong to the kids, not to go into the 529s. Sometimes they'll send a check for $25, which I put into the kids' junior savings accounts to be used when they are a little older, or sometimes it's a $10 gift card to Toys R Us or a Halloween card with a $5 bill inside. I don't put that money in the 529s b/c I know they want the kids to be able to save up for something and use it the money. My 9-yr old has a wallet where she keeps her gift cards and some money, and she loves being able to buy little things like gum.

So no one has funded our kids' 529s except us!

[Anonymous]

"My wealthy inlaws have never given my kids any money, with the exception of giving a moderate amount to the 3rd when he was born. They have been generous with us, but my MIL insists on buying tons of ridiculously expensive Ralph Lauren clothes from Bloomingdales for the kids for every occasion. (I'm not kidding - that is the only store she shops in and the only brand she will buy for the kids. She doesn't think it's nuts to put a pair of $45 white RL pants on a 2-yr old boy. I buy the rest of their clothes in Target.)"


YOU POOR, POOR, DEAR! How atrocious that the IL's (about whose money you seem to know everything - is THAT why you married your husband, BTW?) want to buy something at their discretion with their money for your kids! Send them over here, we would be happy to have them! And Target? Are they TRYING to get you thrown out of the club!?!!??

[Anonymous]

OK, everybody, breathe.

OP, no. There is no appropriate way to hint to your parents or in-laws that you would prefer cash in the 529 as opposed to your fifth copy of the same polly pocket or whatever. If the grandparents in question wanted to fund that, they would ask you about it.

In my experience, grandparents or great grandparents who are in a position to may give a little seed money for such a fund when the baby is born, but it is not a constant source of funding for those accounts. That is on the parents (you). Some people may have other arrangements, but those are usually quite explicit.