Divorce in NOVA - how do I make it work?

[Anonymous]

You can absolutely do it. I make that much and have two kids in ES (ie: NOT teenagers) and we manage. Child Support is still being negotiated so I dont even get that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would check with the insurance company to see if the insurance rates will drop significantly if the teen doesn't have his/her own car. My parents didn't get me my own car when I was growing up for that reason. That will save you on VA personal property tax plus hopefully insurance costs.

Just a teen having their drivers license makes the insurance go up. The property taxes on the cars is negligible since they are all so old and have high mileage (and they're paid for). The teen having a car isn't a luxury, its a necessity, and I sure wouldn't be able to manage without the help of the extra driver.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can absolutely do it. I make that much and have two kids in ES (ie: NOT teenagers) and we manage. Child Support is still being negotiated so I dont even get that.

Can you recommend where I should look to move?

[Anonymous]

Walk to metro. Excellent HS. Very close to elem. school.
https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_rent/64852911_zpid/369792-493056_price/1500-2000_mp/38.919954,-77.222643,38.844053,-77.342463_rect/12_zm/

Walk to HS, good schools, not far from metro, but would need to bus/bike/drive https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_rent/2113046645_zpid/369792-493056_price/1500-2000_mp/38.913643,-77.252469,38.875699,-77.312379_rect/13_zm/

Close to HS, close to businesses where teen can get a job. You can bus into the city.
https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_rent/5Xt48k_bldg/38.779434,-77.238969_ll/369792-493056_price/1500-2000_mp/38.796875,-77.208867,38.758869,-77.268777_rect/13_zm/


Excellent community:
https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_rent/51972402_zpid/369792-493056_price/1500-2000_mp/38.773726,-77.143292,38.735707,-77.203202_rect/13_zm/

https://www.zillow.com/homes/for_rent/5XhvMz_bldg/38.763173,-77.147378_ll/369792-493056_price/1500-2000_mp/38.780283,-77.126127,38.742268,-77.186037_rect/13_zm/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sell 2 of the 3 cars. One of you need to live on top of the metro/bus line and the other needs to do all pick-ups plus drop-offs. Also agree to both move to a small, cheaper community.

This exists on top of a metro line?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sell 2 of the 3 cars. One of you need to live on top of the metro/bus line and the other needs to do all pick-ups plus drop-offs. Also agree to both move to a small, cheaper community.

I disagree with this advice if the cars are paid off. Living on top of metro line will cost more money in living expenses and buses take forever if any of the required routes require a transfer.

And traveling to most places in the city round trip on the metro is $10. Then you have no car, so even more money to get around to your errands and doctors appointments...and life. Would be foolish to get rid of a paid off car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what the child support calculations will be for you, but I would expect that he would pay at least $1000/mo. of the two kids. That will change when one ages out (turns 18). But, for now, you could expect that you will have $5000/mo. That is enough to live on. And yes, you can live with an apartment that costs $2k if you need to. The kids will share, right -- a 2 bdrm unit?

I assume you want to stay in the same school zone. Don't know how pricey that is, but there are certainly TH rentals for $1500-$2000.

Let's assume $4500. If you pay $2K for rent, +$500 for utilities and misc., $1000 for food, that leaves you $500 for cars/clothes/gas/misc repairs. It's definitely tight. But, you can survive. Of course, it would help you a lot to drop the rent a couple hundred. Would also help if the teen could get a job that pays for his/her car and clothes.

What school zone are you in, OP? Are you willing to move?

I don't see the point of me moving then if I would still be paying what I pay now, which is 2k. I would prefer to move to a cheaper place that accepted our dogs, but I might as well stay put and keep my kids in the same school if I can't save on rent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what the child support calculations will be for you, but I would expect that he would pay at least $1000/mo. of the two kids. That will change when one ages out (turns 18). But, for now, you could expect that you will have $5000/mo. That is enough to live on. And yes, you can live with an apartment that costs $2k if you need to. The kids will share, right -- a 2 bdrm unit?

I assume you want to stay in the same school zone. Don't know how pricey that is, but there are certainly TH rentals for $1500-$2000.

Let's assume $4500. If you pay $2K for rent, +$500 for utilities and misc., $1000 for food, that leaves you $500 for cars/clothes/gas/misc repairs. It's definitely tight. But, you can survive. Of course, it would help you a lot to drop the rent a couple hundred. Would also help if the teen could get a job that pays for his/her car and clothes.

What school zone are you in, OP? Are you willing to move?

I don't see the point of me moving then if I would still be paying what I pay now, which is 2k. I would prefer to move to a cheaper place that accepted our dogs, but I might as well stay put and keep my kids in the same school if I can't save on rent.

Do you have to get divorced now? Can you all just live basically separated for the sake of money until the kids are out of the house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what the child support calculations will be for you, but I would expect that he would pay at least $1000/mo. of the two kids. That will change when one ages out (turns 18). But, for now, you could expect that you will have $5000/mo. That is enough to live on. And yes, you can live with an apartment that costs $2k if you need to. The kids will share, right -- a 2 bdrm unit?

I assume you want to stay in the same school zone. Don't know how pricey that is, but there are certainly TH rentals for $1500-$2000.

Let's assume $4500. If you pay $2K for rent, +$500 for utilities and misc., $1000 for food, that leaves you $500 for cars/clothes/gas/misc repairs. It's definitely tight. But, you can survive. Of course, it would help you a lot to drop the rent a couple hundred. Would also help if the teen could get a job that pays for his/her car and clothes.

What school zone are you in, OP? Are you willing to move?

I doubt it. Under the VA guidelines that's about what he would pay if she had sole custody. Assuming some form of split custody she will get less and possibly with an adjustment on his end if he's the one that carries the children on his health insurance.

[Anonymous]

When I was considering divorce, the lawyer said that in VA, you can still live together while getting divorced. You essentially live like roommates. Saves on housing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can absolutely do it. I make that much and have two kids in ES (ie: NOT teenagers) and we manage. Child Support is still being negotiated so I dont even get that.

Can you recommend where I should look to move?

I live in Dunn Loring. Rent is super expensive but I didn't want to live insanely far out or in a teeny apt. Everything else is on a budget. Sometimes we have to put things on CC. No vacations for us and very little savings. I want to prioritize buying but at the moment, I am just prioritizing keeping things stable and not too depressing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was considering divorce, the lawyer said that in VA, you can still live together while getting divorced. You essentially live like roommates. Saves on housing.

We are already doing that. I do not want to live with him any more at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was considering divorce, the lawyer said that in VA, you can still live together while getting divorced. You essentially live like roommates. Saves on housing.

We are already doing that. I do not want to live with him any more at all.

Thats my whole point with my post: time to live apart, I am concerned I won't be able to get by.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know what the child support calculations will be for you, but I would expect that he would pay at least $1000/mo. of the two kids. That will change when one ages out (turns 18). But, for now, you could expect that you will have $5000/mo. That is enough to live on. And yes, you can live with an apartment that costs $2k if you need to. The kids will share, right -- a 2 bdrm unit?

I assume you want to stay in the same school zone. Don't know how pricey that is, but there are certainly TH rentals for $1500-$2000.

Let's assume $4500. If you pay $2K for rent, +$500 for utilities and misc., $1000 for food, that leaves you $500 for cars/clothes/gas/misc repairs. It's definitely tight. But, you can survive. Of course, it would help you a lot to drop the rent a couple hundred. Would also help if the teen could get a job that pays for his/her car and clothes.

What school zone are you in, OP? Are you willing to move?

I doubt it. Under the VA guidelines that's about what he would pay if she had sole custody. Assuming some form of split custody she will get less and possibly with an adjustment on his end if he's the one that carries the children on his health insurance.

He would pay LESS because he carries the kids on his health insurance and has shared custody??? Nobody told me that (i.e. lawyers)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was considering divorce, the lawyer said that in VA, you can still live together while getting divorced. You essentially live like roommates. Saves on housing.

We are already doing that. I do not want to live with him any more at all.

Thats my whole point with my post: time to live apart, I am concerned I won't be able to get by.

Get a second job. Find a job that pays more than what you’re making. If your teen needs a car, then they can work and contribute toward the household expenses.

You’re getting good feedback here - you need to wrap your head around the fact that life is going to change a lot. Things may be tight initially, but if you can no longer live with your husband you will need to make adjustments for the freedom.